Need an ear --- umm I mean an eye

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lovinbuffs
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Need an ear --- umm I mean an eye

Well I have been playing daoc for 7 months now and am really thinking I need to quit. My life went from mountain bike racing, college, girlfriend, loving working at a bike shop, and friends [to] daoc ALL THE TIME I still work but am always tierd and dread working.

My playing daoc ruined my life in every way . I stopped cleaning UGGG I have spent the day cleaning . I didn't pay enough attention to my girlfriend, know we are no more . I have not been in school for 2 semesters {missed class to play} . I am totally out of shape know and can't think of racing till I get stronger . I almost lost my job several times becouse I was playing so late + calling in sick so I could play sometimes. I spent so much time playing I have no friends except on daoc.

Well I have a prob and it has been eating at me for sometime now . I am quiting [sigh] apart of me still loves the game but I know it is REALLY BAD FOR ME.

I have been lowering my playtime for about 2 weeks now and have not been on in 3 days . I am aftaid to get back on becouse I may be on all frigging night. I don't trust my self.

I am mad at myself for not stoping sooner but better now than never.

The one thing I use to keep my self off daoc is this thought I have. [I have a HUGE 124523452345 times more vast game=LIFE.

I am rebuilding my life now knowing that I get addicted to these games, And they consume me. UGGG so much work to do .

Watching my life go down the tubes made me want to play more. Although in the end it was only an escape from the life I was loosing.

I am still having trouble with the thought of deleting my toons I associated my identity with them {that is bad and sounds crazy ] but it is true. I will miss all my online friends. I have thought of selling them but why pass an addiction on to somone else. I know not everyone gets addicted But imo 70%+ get hooked

I dunno if I have the stregnth to delete them . But I know if I don't There is a chance I will go back to playing them. [sigh]

Any ways I need support and advice.
I type to fast sorry for any misstypes

jeremiah

{daoc main was lovin buffs] I should get a new ezboard account name.

Edited by: lovinbuffs at: 12/19/02 2:10:44 am

Diggo McDiggity
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Re: Need an ear

Welcome, Lovinbuffs!
Whether one is slaying a dragon in Norrath or embarking on a raid to steal a relic from Midgard, the challenges that we face in RL are similar when our playing gets out of hand.

I played DAOC for about a year with my primary being a Lurikeen Ranger named Finnighus McDiggity...distant cousin of Diggo McDiggity in Everquest. I had gotten his fletching up to 650 and had my bow skills maxed. I was small, but powerful. But still as Mythic would make changes to the game, each patch seemed to make the game that much more interesting...except for the archery nerfs.

For some reason though, I was not as 'hooked' on DAOC as I was Everquest, but still I know of a good number of people who I played EQ with who left for Albion and who are still playing regularly to this day.

The challenges we face, as I said, are similar whether they are in DAOC, EQ or UO or AO or just about any other MMORPG, depending upon the individual.

Quitting is tough at first, but gets easier each day. The key is to find something BEFORE you quit to immediately fill in the time you used to play. If you don't, you just might be thinking too much about the game and have a weak moment. And before you know it, you'll be running through the frontier to res your raidmates.

Thanks for post and again, welcome

Ron

Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
eMail: eqaddict@cfl.rr.com
Discussion Board Administrator
Everquest player from July, 1999 to April, 2002
Over 4,900 Hours Played

Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002

tosha
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Re: Need an ear

Hey Jeremiah I want to welcome you to the board. You have done the first step and admitted that you have a problem. Congratulations! And have cut your playing time way down. Again Congratulations!

I played DAoC for awhile and can relate to the thrill of the rvr playing. I played a theurgist named Tosha for awhile and admit that when I was in the realms, it was thrilling.

I suggest you look at the thread above on Tips on Quitting. Those are just a few of the things I used when going through the process of quitting. And remember for a lot of us, it is a process. It isn't something that happens overnight, although some do quit cold turkey, a lot of us don't.

I also suggest that if you feel the need to talk to somebody in person, to contact a professional therapist. It sounds like you have some issues that should be dealt with which need to resolved before you are fully recovered. But in any case, we are here for you. We have been where you are now and understand what it is like.

Tosha
 

lovinbuffs
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Re: Need an ear

Well you are right I do need need some therapy but in the end we all do. I will deal with all that I lost playing the game and rebuild my life and learn. The whole time I knew what I was loosing but the game seemed more important. That was till I came to my senses and realized what I was loosing. The game seemed to put me in a trance. This kind of utopia fantasy that didn't even exist. I was a fool. Although not anymore I know my problems and am dealing with them. If the game thought me one thing it is that anything can be an escape TV, sports, drugs, movies on and on..... So to anyone wanting to fill that free time beware not to fix one addiction with another.

In reality we all need to go get counseling not just me but all of us that have been addicted. Anyone that was addicted lost something or someone and that is not right. We may have even lost respect be it from our selves or others. In the end we all need help.

That is why we are here

Edited by: lovinbuffs at: 12/19/02 2:00:56 am

Soprena
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Re: Need an ear

Quote:We may have even lost respect be it from our selves or others.
This is a very common thought, I believe. However, be careful not to dwell on it, or to get beyond it, if you can. Carrying shame with you, constantly, can be very difficult and limiting.

Perhaps the best thing to do, if you can, is to focus on the future. We all know that it's not possible to turn back the clock. When we truly believe that (and it's pretty easy to believe until time travel is invented), a burden can be lifted. However, it's possible to change our future. I just remembered a line from a Bob Weir Grateful Dead song. "I can tell your future -- just look what's in your hand" (from Playin' in the Band, lyrics by John Barlow I believe).

If you can get/afford counselling, by all means try to find someone you find to be helpful.

Art by Culurien GoldleafEscaped from the Skinner Box 20 October 2002

lovinbuffs
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Re: Need an ear

Well I have not played for 3 weeks now and I have been fixing my life. Things are starting to come together in my life. I knew I had to quit before my life was totally gone and I have. I came out of the addiction and depression that came along with it. For this I am overjoyed. I didn't gain much weight [thank god] and am loosing the 10 pounds I gained. Also I am buying a new road bike [for training] to race mountain bikes this summer. I have no desire to play the game any more. I never thought I would say this [I am relived to say it now though] but I am done with mmorpg's. They are evil in my opinion. I could go on for hours about how bad they are but we all know this. Normal games that end really don't hold my interest very long so I probably won't be playing them much either. If at all.

Although I am still trying to figure out what to do with my toons. I have to option to give them to a few RL coworkers that I know [or delete them]. Hmmm I just know I don't want to pay the fee for them. I hate to destroy what I created. Not because I want to play them again but because I made those toons and I hate to waist all the work I did to make them. I just don't want them. That way if I ever relapse I will remember all the pain it took to make them and that will serve as a detourant. But in the end I know I will never play a mmorpg again. I need some advice about what to do with these toons.

Venting on these boards helped allot. All I had to do was say enough and realize what I was doing, taste some fresh air for a few weeks while I realized what all I was missing out on. It feels so good to say I AM DONE. WOOOTZ

To anyone thinking of quieting a mmorpg do it for your self. There is a much more vast mmRLg [massive multi player real life game] and it is ten times more vast and rewarding. It is called the real world. You just have to say enough and make up your mind. [IMO] Just change your mind and perspective about the game but make it concrete in your mind.

I do not look down on my self for being addicted I am a wiser person because of it. I just wish I would have realized the addiction with mmorpg's sooner. In the end I was able to salvage 90% of my life that took a back seat. I am proud of my self for saying enough and moving on gl to you all trying to quit. You can do it.

To some of you it may seem like I quit fast. Although I have been thinking of quieting for months now. I am the kind of person that when I make up my mind about something [That can take a long time I have to weigh every thing and think long and hard] at that point my mind changes and I hold in my mind the lesson I learned and never forget it. I don't come to decisions lightly because I just like to be sure about the decisions I make. The hard part for me is the process before change happens. I can say I will never play an mmorpg again because I know my self and what I have learned I have made the decision I am done :-)

Jeremiah

Edited by: lovinbuffs at: 12/28/02 8:19:11 pm

Soprena
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Re: Need an ear

Jeremiah, I've found that venting on these boards as you called it helps as well. Do whatever works for you If you find that coming here and talking about your past, by all means do so! Get access to the members section, and feel free to post. Some people can just walk away from the whole Eq experience, and some find strength in talking through it it seems.
I wasnt sure what to do with my toons either, and ended up deleting them, but not right away. Personally I got some satisfaction out of deleting them, but that was after a few weeks of thinking about everything. I understand not wanting to delete them right away; I didn't either.

It sounds like you are on to a few things to fill up the time you used to play, like bicycle riding. I'm into the road bike thing myself, but am woefully out of shape especially with how hilly it is here. But I have a decent hybrid to get me started in the spring. My road bike looks very sad and lonely and I hope to give it good workouts next year.

Congrats on feeling better about things and I hope that, if you feel like talking, you will.

Art by Culurien GoldleafEscaped from the Skinner Box 20 October 2002

Diggo McDiggity
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Re: Need an ear

Aye, /congrats on making the decision AND actually doing it. Taking action is the hardest part, to be sure.
You will start to notice life changes pretty quickly once you stop playing, especially after a run of a couple/few years. The key to doing it successfully is to start substituting other activities for the time you used to play. It sounds like you are doing that now so I think you are on your way.

As for your characters, some people give away their stuff to guildies, then delete their chars and make new level 1 chars as placeholders for their names so that the characters are retired, just like a baseball uniform of some retired pro.

Please keep sharing your experiences here...the good and the bad since you left, and continue to try and understand why you think it was that you played excessively in the first place. That is the key to your staying on the right track.

Again, /congrats!

Ron

Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
eMail: eqaddict@cfl.rr.com
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Everquest player from July, 1999 to April, 2002
Over 4,900 Hours Played

Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002

lizwool
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Re: Jeremiah

It is great to hear from you!

Would you like membership to our board? We would be honored to have you.

If so, write me, at olga@olganon.org

You can share what you have to encourage others. We call it "people helping people".

You sound like you are doing great! I am very happy for you.

One thing someone said, that make sense to me is to sell your toons. Than you won't be able to get them back and they will still be alive.

And do no be hard on yourself. Addictions are baffling, cunning and powerful. I don't think anyone ever started anything, knowing that the end results would be addiction.
Chalk it up as a "learning experience".

Enjoy and appreciate what you have in your real life.

Congratulations!

Liz

Liz Woolley

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