"Nothing to Lose"

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inivux
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"Nothing to Lose"

I put the thread title in quotes only because I, unlike many people with this addiction, do not have many real life "obligations". I do know that my life/existence itself is something "to lose", but that is a little beyond the scope of what that phrase usually entails.

Let me tell you a little but about myself. I am a 25 year old white American male. I have above average intelligence, I am not overweight, and I come from a loving, upper middle class family. I do not have a degree, but only because I have not found my calling yet. Unfortunately, I'm a bit of an under-achiever, which explains a lot about my real life and how I treat the game. I am also depressed, but not to the point of being suicidal, or needing medication. I also have an addiction to World of Warcraft.

I have been playing this game off and on for about 4 years now. I am by no means a hardcore player, and I really have no desire to be the "best of the best", but I do put in a lot of time into the game regardless. So let my clarify: I couldn't care any less about endgame, about having a full set of epics, about Tier gear, about Arena ranks, etc. The reason I play is not to "make connections with like minded people", nor is it to "achieve digital greatness". I do not alter my sleep schedule to raid; hell, I'm not even in a guild, period.

I play the game to level characters, and that is it. I play alone, for the most part. The only thing I share with other addictive players, casual or not, is that I play the game to give me an escape from the real world. It is something to do for hours on end. Mindless, almost. I play simply because I have nothing better to do; or at least that's what that addiction wants me to believe.

Fortunately, I have not bought Cataclysm, and do not have an active subscription. I am able to play currently only because of a 10 day trial, which expires soon. I am glad it is ending soon. I like to tell myself that willpower is the reason I have not resubscribed and purchased the newest expansion, but I'm afraid all it really is, is me not having the financial means. I am afraid that when I do get the financial means, I will be compelled to resubscribe and purchase Cataclysm.

Unfortunately, what I have just realized, is that I truly have nothing to lose in both the material world AND the game world. In the real world, I don't have a job, don't go to school, don't have a significant other, and don't have any dependents. I did not have and then lose those things because of the game, either. I am working on again acquiring the former two, but have no plans to start on the latter two any time soon. What I'm trying to say is, there is currently nothing for this addiction to destroy or take from me.

In the game world, because I am so "casual", there also is nothing to lose. Sure, I have a level 80 paladin, but even when I played yesterday, there was no joy in it. It was still mindless, and I was aware of that as I was playing. In the past, I have deleted characters on a whim, simply because I was bored or tired of them. Still, I am encouraged by this behavior because it proves that I do not have any "attachment" to these characters, but the attachment to the game is still there. I am currently trying to sell the account, but I am finding it harder to do that I thought.

In closing, I think I am "better off" than a lot of other WoW addicts, but it is still something I have a problem with, and is something want to be rid of.

I'm glad I found this site.

fly by night
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Inivux,welcome first

Inivux,welcome first off,second it looks to me like you already know a big key to your addiction...in the fact that you have'nt found "your true calling yet".My hunch is that when you do find it everything else will hopefully fall into place,and wow can be an after thought.Also just looking into different hobbies maybe that have a better payoff in real life for you while your searching for that calling could help you find it.Just some thoughts.

"It's all in your mind...Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life.If you continue to believe as you have always believed,you will continue to act as you have always acted.If you continue to act as you have always acted,you will continue to get what you have always gotten.If you want different results in your life or your work,all you have to do is change your mind." Anonymous...

Kate1song
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Glad you found this site

Glad you found this site too.. Welcome to Olga Inivux.

inivux
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That is a good way to think

That is a good way to think of it. Once I have found my path in life, WoW will cease to matter anymore.

I'm just afraid that because I am in this "gray area" where playing or not playing will not destroy any existing obligations I have (because they don't exist), I won't be as motivated to get myself out of the hole. I mean, in the case of a father or husband who is addicted to the game, he has his children and wife to think about. He can't allow his addiction to ruin his relationship with them. He has more of a reason to not let it destroy him.

Personally, I could never allow my own addiction to affect others, but since I don't have "others", it all seems futile to want to get out, since I would only be affecting myself.

I'm naturally a very selfless person. I go out of my way to put others first, and I do my best to ensure they never get hurt, even if it means I get hurt. I suppose a side effect of being that way is not putting enough care into myself, which is why I find it so hard to find a reason to remove myself from them addiction.

The logic is a bit backwards I suppose, but that is how it is.

Kate1song
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So.. Inivux.. why are you

So.. Inivux.. why are you here? there must be a reason.. You seem to make a good argument to keep playing... But yet here you are here...

Personally, i disagree completely with the "there is nothing your addiction destroys"

You are destroying your potential... and that is just as much a sin as any of us, who have significant others we have hurt with our own excessive playing.

You are just as responsible for your place in this world as I am...

I hope you can find it in Real Life.. and not in pixel land

inivux
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I suppose my argument could

I suppose my argument could be used to give somebody in my position a reason to continue playing, but as you said, it is destroying my potential, which is why I need to quit.

Like I said, I don't put a lot of effort or care into this game, but I still play a lot. It is merely a diversion for my real life.

I lucky I don't have to struggle with caring too much (about being "the best of the best" in the game), but there is still the issue of playing too much, or rather, at all.

That is why I'm here, for help on how to stop playing completely.

Mario
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The nature of addiction is

The nature of addiction is self centeredness... so yes.. addiction does destroy thing. It might not destroy your life, but it will eventually destroy another... if that is not a family member then maybe a friend... if not a friend, you will be destroying other gamers lives that are participating on the game with you. Ultimately... lol.. you will be sad. It just takes some time for it to caught up with you. Then your like: ****, what have I been doing with my life. Until that happens, I will still be here waiting for you. Go ahead and go out gaming. What are you doing on this site when you could be spending all that time on so MMO, grinding up your skills. I will be here when you get bored of it and find that you haven't made anyones life better form playing a game. The fact is, many of us will still be here and you will eventually give in... in a number of ways. Again, I'm not going to stop you from going back out. I am just saying that we here in OLGA will outlive your stupid addiction. Yes, it doesn't hurt you, yes it hurts others.

Mario

Kate1song
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that's cool Inv. :)

that's cool Inv. :)

Mario
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For me. The gateway drug is

For me. The gateway drug is the single player gamers. I always get to a point that I have to go into MMO's from that jump off point. I am never fully satisfied with a single player game. That is the bottom line. Also, I simply don't want to risk going back to full blown mania of 38 hours a day. I never want that risk and so I stay free from all forms of games. It seems to work well!!

Mario

Kincaid
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Hi Inivux and welcome to

Hi Inivux and welcome to OLGA

You say that you have no significant others - what about your parents or siblings? For me one of the reasons I was getting more depressed was the fact that I knew it was upsetting my parents. they want what is best for me & could plainly see that this [gaming] wasn't it.

How about your real life friends? Do they not miss you or try to get you to come out anymore? I found my friends still waiting for me & now enjoy their company even more with the knowledge of how imporatnt they are to my personal mental wellbeing.

And what about yourself? Are you truly happy hiding from whatever it is you are hiding from? Wouldn't you rather face that challenge and grow? I find it very hard to socialise but keep doing it as I know I will be more fullfilled and happy than if I were to start isolating again.

I hope you find the courage to keep coming back & get to see the improvement to you life that all of us have.

Mario
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Yes come back, but don't

Yes come back, but don't be surprised if instead of getting annoyed by your gaming they get annoyed by your 12 stepping. Such is life! God save us all.

Mario

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