Please help me (written by awheezle recovered by lizwool)

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Please help me (written by awheezle recovered by lizwool)

Joined: 2014-02-11

I am a 28 year old male with a beautiful wife and 2 amazing children the oldest of which is autistic. I have a major gaming problem and spend on average 4-5 hours a day during the week and even more in the weekends to the point where I will set an alarm to get up in the early hours of the morning to maximise time spent online I have recently begun to spend larger and larger amounts of money on mmy gaming habit to the point where the guilt and shame have left me depressed and suicidal, please help me
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Recovered reply to post written by Scott recovered by lizwool

Posted on: Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:12am new #1
Joined: 2010-07-01

Welcome to OLGA, Travis. I'm glad you found us here.
Your story sounds a lot like mine, and many others I've heard. I felt so guilty, alone, ashamed and depressed about my situation. I beat myself up mentally for not doing better, trying to shame myself into better behavior, and made many limits and promises and vows. None of which seemed to make any difference.
Today, I accept that I have a mental obsession and compulsion with gaming, a mental condition, that fills my head with crazy thoughts that kept driving me back to the games. My condition (which is generally called gaming addiction) needs treatment, a course of action, that helps me to meet my needs without gaming, to overcome the denial and crazy rationalizations, and to set my life on a new course of healthier choices, attitudes and actions.
Thankfully, I didn't have to figure all this out myself. With the help of people in OLGA and other recovery fellowships, I learned what they did that helped them recover and how I could do the same. I'm not much one for asking for help, or accepting help, or joining any group, or opening up about my struggles, but these are things I needed to do and with the support of others doing the same thing I've been able to do them.
I suggest attending as many of the meetings (listed in ) that you can for a while, introducing yourself, making connections, and trying suggestions. You don't have to do this alone. Many of us have stayed completely off the games for months and years. But we do it one day at a time. Let's just do our best to go from now til the end of the day without starting that first game.
What you feed grows, and what you starve withers away.

Recovered reply to post written by dan1 recovered by lizwool

Posted on: Tue, 02/11/2014 - 3:48pm new #2
Joined: 2012-05-04

What Scott said. Every bit.
Just a bit to add: It will take some time. It took me a long time to develop and deepen my gaming addiction, and it has taken time to learn to live apart from it. It took me time in two ways: It takes some time every day for me. It doesn't take as much time as gaming did, but it's significant. It also has taken a "long" time--it doesn't always seem like I've been making big progress, but when I look back over time, I see significant change. It happens one day at a time.
When I first got to OLGA, my therapist, who had sent me there, told me "90 meetings in 90 days". Not everyone needs that but I did. The meetings will help you to see that you aren't alone, and we all support each other there.
The good news is that change can happen. That's what I've learned here for myself, and I'm seeing that for many others as well. We learn how to live a different way, so that we don't need to dive into games. Gaming stole my life one day at a time. Now I have it back.
See you at the meeting.
I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict.
My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA
No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.
Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. ...Without treatment or engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or premature death. --American Society of Addiction Medicine

Recovered reply to post written by LearningSerenity recovered by lizwool

Posted on: Tue, 02/11/2014 - 5:17pm new #3
Joined: 2013-05-12

Welcome to OLGA, Travis. I don't have much to add to what's already been said beyond the fact that your time zone is going to make attending our meetings a bit more interesting. If you can rearrange things in your life to make it possible to attend, then I'd highly recommend it, because something about being with my fellow gaming addicts helps me out a lot. If there's just no way you can make it to any of them, and rearrangments of your schedule are going to be impossible, then it might be worth looking up open AA or NA meetings in your area. Time with recovering addicts is much better than no time with recovering addicts, and if you substitute the word "games" for "alcohol" or "drugs", you'll find that there is an enormous amount of overlap between what you hear in AA and NA meetings and what you'd hear around here.
Your physical location might make it harder to connect with people here in terms of having overlapping times of availability, but I'm betting that if you press on with trying to make it work, you'll find it to be worth your while. Hugs...
When you're going through hell...keep going.
--Winston Churchill
There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still
--Corrie ten Boom

Reply to post written by Maggie added by lizwool

Posted on: Wed, 02/12/2014 - 8:16am new #4
Joined: 2013-08-26

Hi Awheezle,
Welcome to Olga, you are not alone. I also found the meeting is the most helpful in my recovery, and I hope it will do the same for you. I rarely missed any meetings in the first 30 days except when I had to go to work.
In the meeting, you probably can benefit from:
1. You can connect with recovery buddies at the end of the meeting.
2. You can listen to the share how others deal with their pain/stress/suffering without using the game.
3. You can listen what others did to succeed in their recovery.
4. You can see how their lives transform which gives hope.
5. You can learn that you are not alone.
6. You can learn that your experience does impacts on others.
7. You can just listen, if you don't want to share.
8. You can feel a sense of healing and belonging just by being a part of this community.
9. You can also inquire about 12 step program and start looking for sponsorship.
10. You can feel a sense of self-worth that someone else does care about you.
I also created a personal blog to share with newcomers, and I hope you will find it helpful.
1. No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.
2. Teach the triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.
3. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
4. The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.
5. Fashion your life as a garland of beautiful deeds.
-------All from Buddha.

Liz Woolley