Sick of the addiciton

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Dylanlev
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Sick of the addiciton

Not exactlly sure how to start off, well I'll start of with the current. I've just now deleted my Charcters on WoW. To explain more why I did this is hard to explain, I really had a random urge after knowing for years how much life was screwing up.

I guess it all started when I was 8 or so... bought an Xbox. An introduction to addiction, the start of calling in sick for days on end to play a game. Staying up from 12PM - 5AM every day. Sometimes going to school with no sleep. The worst of all ignoring my Mother, Father and Brother. The only ones that truly care about me in this **** world.

I've always thought I was a great son and brother, oblivious to the fact that I was wretched. Spend hours on a game and my parents begging me to come down stairs to have a dinner, that my Mom would spend hours on making after a 9-5 job. Rarely sat down either with my Dad to watch a game, or go out of the dare I say it real world to watch a movie. Untill the past few hours I just couldn't take notice to the fact of how much I neglected my parents, never understood the toll it took on them. I also never understood how much better my childhood could've been (16 Y/O's). When I look back, I feel like it's been wasted. I feel a sour/sweet feeling, to know that hopefully I'll finally never be back to the gaming again but sour to know how my childhood was wasted and there is only one life to live. D'; The only force that keeps me going is to know that I still have time to cherish part of it, and the rest of my life.

That's just my short story I guess. I think what I came here most is for how to deal what is to come. At the moment I just can't stand the idea of school, as you can imagine WoW dealt so much with stress in my life. Parents going through a difforce, health issues with my parents... and myself. It just seems so much

So all I was wondering is, how did you all dealt with these kind of issues. I'd really appreciate the help, and thank you all a head of time for reading at least some of it even though it barely makes sense, even to me. :X

LaurelS9
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Hi Dylanlev.  Your post

Hi Dylanlev. Your post made sense and was a good first step, in my opinion. There are many many suggestions here on how to deal with withdrawals from gaming. The best of these are to work the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous adapted to video gaming addiction, and to get plenty of rest, drink plenty of water, exercise and otherwise take care of your physical body. I'm trying to catch up on all the abuse of my body during the 4+ years of gaming. I didn't sleep, didn't eat healthy, didn't exercise, didn't even brush my teeth regularly, or make the yearly health exams that are recommended at my age....and there are financial ammends to make, etc.

It sounds daunting when you look at all that was not done during gaming addiction, but one day at a time and one project at a time, I'm trying to get current in my own life.

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Hi Dylanlev. Welcome to

Hi Dylanlev. Welcome to OLGA.

I commend you for realizing that you have a problem...and you found us. You are on the right track.

Young people are so resilient.

Please realize you will be going through withdrawal. When that happenes, be good to yourself. Get some sleep. Also come here and post and blog. Share your thoughts as you begin your healing journey.

Good luck.

The question is....will you be able/courageous/adult enough to sacrifice that which merely pleases you...for that which will truly fulfill you? That is the question of personal growth.
~~~Dem518
~~~wow-free since 8/22/09

Dylanlev
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Quote: Please realize you
Quote:

Please realize you will be going through withdrawal.

Wow, that I didn't realize untill it hit me last night. Never thought it would be possible with just a game. But my thoughts are racing, I feel exorbent urges just to go back and play... thoughts keep racing like "I can play moderatly". But then I look back and I know I can't, and I can already tell my life will be better... going to actually go outside to watch a movie with the Dad, somthin I haven't done in awhile. Should be fun, thank you so much for the support the_real_me and LaurelS9.

TomG
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I hope you enjoy the movie

I hope you enjoy the movie and welcome to OLGA.

Dylanlev
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Soo I cant belive its been

Soo I cant belive its been this long since ive quit, it feels so amazing to be game free. Really without reading so much on this website I wouldnt have made it. With in the first few months of quitting I found a girl I liked and she liked me back, it never really worked out but i sure as hell would not have been in that position if I still played. I also started playing Lacrosse and started Swim this year. I stopped smoking weed, I hangout with my Dad every sunday (Parents are divorced) and I hangout with my Mom all the times, going outside is FUN i dont end my night looking to play a game just get some nice sleep. Lifes gotten alot better, more than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams. I mean really I could write you guys a book about how much better your live can be game free, its so scary to see the kind of grip that **** game had on me.

Thank you so much Olga and everyone here, really and truly thank you :D.

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Glad to hear that you're

Glad to hear that you're getting so much more out of life. Thanks for coming back and sharing your successes with us.

Scott

What you feed grows, and what you starve withers away.

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Wow Dylanlev,

Wow Dylanlev, Congratulations! You've done awesome and it's so nice to hear how well you're doing in real life now. Sounds like you're really got it together. Thanks for coming back and updating us too. Keep up the good work!

 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

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Once I quit porn my real

Once I quit porn my real life just skyrocketed. I could spend my time of something other than games. The idea that I could excel in some area in my life that I wanted to was great. Good luck in developing some other hobbies and friends. You can do it. Sorry for my two posts as I think I clicked twice.

Mario

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Yeah Dylanlev, keep working

Yeah Dylanlev, keep working hard for your freedom for video games. Very proud!

Mario

Dylanlev
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Dylanlev wrote: Soo I cant
Dylanlev wrote:

Soo I cant belive its been this long since ive quit, it feels so amazing to be game free. Really without reading so much on this website I wouldnt have made it. With in the first few months of quitting I found a girl I liked and she liked me back, it never really worked out but i sure as hell would not have been in that position if I still played. I also started playing Lacrosse and started Swim this year. I stopped smoking weed, I hangout with my Dad every sunday (Parents are divorced) and I hangout with my Mom all the times, going outside is FUN i dont end my night looking to play a game just get some nice sleep. Lifes gotten alot better, more than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams. I mean really I could write you guys a book about how much better your live can be game free, its so scary to see the kind of grip that **** game had on me.

Thank you so much Olga and everyone here, really and truly thank you :D.

Thought I'd just throw out another update. Possibly and hopefully to inspire some other people who went what I went through or maybe just to vent :D? Life after video game addiction, it's quite tough to put into words how much you can really enjoy life and all it has to offer. I've realized now that my previous addiction had me in a numb state, I never really experienced feelings the way you should while I played video games. AP Micro, Intro to Physch, honors in school and Lacrosse are my passions these days. It's been I belive close to two years now since playing WoW, I can't say it wasn't tough, I did slip a few times in the first few months. As well as the occasional thoughts of playing, but reading up on here always keeps me motivated (Thank you everyone from Olganon) I guess that's all I can say for now, anyone who reads this and is going through withdrawal please keep strong!, the only way from the bottom is up!

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Good stuff about realizing

Good stuff about realizing you are addicted. Dont be too hard on yourslef for doing wrong in the past. Be hard on yourself for doing wrong in the future. Or be happy to do right. Addiction is a crazy thing as it seems so normal while you are addicted, but sooner or later we all come to enlightment. Try to follow the program to get well, and focus on other things you are good at and talk to your family ..their support in your new "quest "would help.

its ok to feel your norm is "the norm" and other are odd if they act different. Most people have that in younger years. Even I had while I was not addicted that time. Its part of growing up I guess.

pre- diagnosed with Autism.

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Thanks for the update,

Thanks for the update, Dylanlev. I'm so glad you've remained game free and are enjoying real life. It's so true how gaming simply numbs us from our feelings. It's so cool that you've found some new, healthy passions. Way to go!!

 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

melty
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I think dylan realized what

I think dylan realized what I am about to explain already:

The simple logical way to look at it is this. When I was your age, I was playing a game. I got good at it, but then new games came out. Then I played those, got good at them and new games came out. When you think about it, how does being good at that old game 10 years ago help you be good at the game now? It doesn't really. Being good at wow and having a l33t character doesnt mean you will have a super l33t character in the next new mmo. You always have to start over. So basically the two years you spent on WoW was a complete waste of time because your experience and time spent doesn't apply to anything in your life or even in your future gaming life. The account just dies off.

And who cares about whether you have the l33test gear or anything. Noone but you. You are just one of millions of players who have gotten the exact same piece of gear. Noone really gives a crap dude. They are all too busy inspecting their own gear and keeping their own gear upgraded.

So what it comes down to is LOGICALLY games do nothing for you. Even if you master them, the next new MMO or game will come out and the last few years you spent on this one was a complete waste of time. You don't want to wake up 30 years old one day with your whole life passed you by do you? It's just LOGICALLY not worth it.

Good luck in your new life dylan and I'm glad you have escaped.

Kaylene.Lilly
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Your story and updates have

Your story and updates have really encouraged me, Thank you dylan! It's heart-warming to see a success story, congrats with the honors in school by the way, must've taken a lot of work to get!

'If you live your life fully, you'll only die once. If you are scared of every step, fear will kill you day after day.'

'Life doesn't come with a miracle cure, get up and make your own.'

'Look at the stars and not at your feet, If you aim high you'll be taken where you need to go.'

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melty wrote: I think dylan
melty wrote:

I think dylan realized what I am about to explain already:

The simple logical way to look at it is this. When I was your age, I was playing a game. I got good at it, but then new games came out. Then I played those, got good at them and new games came out. When you think about it, how does being good at that old game 10 years ago help you be good at the game now? It doesn't really. Being good at wow and having a l33t character doesnt mean you will have a super l33t character in the next new mmo. You always have to start over. So basically the two years you spent on WoW was a complete waste of time because your experience and time spent doesn't apply to anything in your life or even in your future gaming life. The account just dies off.

And who cares about whether you have the l33test gear or anything. Noone but you. You are just one of millions of players who have gotten the exact same piece of gear. Noone really gives a crap dude. They are all too busy inspecting their own gear and keeping their own gear upgraded.

So what it comes down to is LOGICALLY games do nothing for you. Even if you master them, the next new MMO or game will come out and the last few years you spent on this one was a complete waste of time. You don't want to wake up 30 years old one day with your whole life passed you by do you? It's just LOGICALLY not worth it.

Good luck in your new life dylan and I'm glad you have escaped.

Oh how I know this; spent 7 years on WOW, doing exactly that: getting gear, getting skills, making money, spending money, getting l33t; starting over (when expansion came); rinse repeat, another expansion, rinse repeat, another expansion, rinse repeat....

Gah! What do I have to show for all this? 5 gaming computers that don't work, a stiff neck with degenerative bone disease, arthritis in both wrists and fingers, back aches, headaches, weight gain, etc.

8 years ago I would have laughed at that, and said to myself "that could never happen to me!"

It did, though.

Luckily, our bodies are quite forgiving. I'm going to physical therapy to get back into shape. My husband told me he loved me last night (haven't heard that in years), I look forward to my days, and can't wait to plan fun things to do.

Thank you OLGA for helping me out of the game-prison.

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Patria, it's great to hear

Patria, it's great to hear your life is going back on track < 3 hugs from me!

thank you OLGA for getting me out of my gaming depression too

'If you live your life fully, you'll only die once. If you are scared of every step, fear will kill you day after day.'

'Life doesn't come with a miracle cure, get up and make your own.'

'Look at the stars and not at your feet, If you aim high you'll be taken where you need to go.'

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Hugs to Kaylene!!!!

Hugs to Kaylene!!!!

Dylanlev
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Well sadly I must admit I've

Well sadly I must admit I've had a small bit of a relapse. I've played a few games on my xbox with friends. I had always kept my xbox for the use of movies and connecting with friends (without playing), I will continue to keep it. Although I will not touch anymore games. I got onto one game and it suddenly hit me that my heart was racing and my palms were sweaty, I would also brush off my mom that past few weeks when I would see her at home (Played for an hour or two a day.)

I'm graeful that I saw it coming early and that it didn't negative affect me much. Although I know if I continued it wouldn't end good, especially with college coming up.

Although on a happy note, this year (second full year without gaming) I achieved honor roll in school, got two in house scholarships (most improved 1.8 GPA - 3.8 GPA) and social life continued to stay good.

Thanks you again all of olganon, I love reading other posts for motivation and it was this website that was key to my recovery.

(Reading my intial old post was also a huge wake up call.)

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Congratulations on being so

Congratulations on being so aware of what was going on, being honest about it with yourself, drawing the right conclusion (if I play even a little bit, it's too easy for me to go back where I was), and coming here and telling us about it. All the right moves, man. Good for you.

I wish you the best in college. I'm sure you will have lots of fun without games, and have a bright future ahead of you.

I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.

Dylanlev
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Hello again Olganon!, I

Hello again Olganon!, I belive it's been around a year? Reading through everyones post has been yet again, another wake up call. I figure I'll just keep updating this like a blog, hopefully to inspire some people; but really I think I just need it for motivation. Everything you guys talked about on this thread has really inspired me to keep going with a no-game lifestyle. I've been recently contemplating getting a few rpg's and playing these to break down some stress. Yet after coming here again I'm begining to realize this probally isn't a good idea. I think something that we can all relate to here is that one things leads to another and your in the midst of gaming addiction again.

Well enough of the sad stuff. It's been more than three years since my first post on here. Since then I went from a highschool student failing his classes, pot head and overall just not a good person. Fast foward three years I'm now in college getting A's in most of my classes, have a partime job, friends and relationship. Over the years I've come to accept that I messsed up in my past. At first I had a lot of anger at myself for being so neglectful to myself and those around me. Although I still feel anger for it now I guess I realize there truly is nothing that can be done but to look to the future. So that's why I am here, to make sure my future doesn't become what my past was. Again, you guys are helping me with that. All of your responses on this thread as well as just going around reading on the forum. So cheers to three years since I've come here and thanks again Olganon.

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Dylanlev, you ARE an

Dylanlev, you ARE an inspiration! I take it you were 16 years old when you first posted? That is the age that my stepson soon will be. I think it is so great that you had such insights and strengths at such a young age, I think you have a lot of potential. Please don't dwell on the past, consider a lesson to help you improve on the future. I'm sure all is forgiven, none of us is perfect. Thank you for stopping by and giving us all hope.

"But if I ran the zoo," / Said young Gerald McGrew, "I'd make a few changes. / That's just what I'd do..."
Dr. Seuss

Dylanlev
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As Melty wrote  "You don't

As Melty wrote "You don't want to wake up 30 years old one day with your whole life passed you by do you? It's just LOGICALLY not worth it. ".

This has been on my mind everytime I consider going back to WoW. I can't lie that I haven't had any gaming slip ups over the past two years--, but I've managed to stay away from WoW. However I've been taking every mistake and doing my best to assess the current and future damege. I belive what's worst about the slipups are that it is so tempting and so easy to just go back to gaming your life away. Rereading my posts from years ago have kept me aware to reality.

On a happier note my life is truly on a great path. I couldn't be where I am today without the people of this forum helping me through. For anyone who comes across this post I want them to know that hard work, dedication and time will bring them anywhere they want to be.

It's crazy to think how much my life has changed. I went from the kid in highschool with no future. My life was consumed by gaming and smoking weed. I was barely going to graduate and definitely not on college track. In contrast to then I'm currently one of the top people in my class at a highly ranked research university. I'm doing Accounting and have two internships set up with the two top accounting firms in the world. Long story short a lot has happened.

However I really needed to see these posts again. I needed to remind myself of how I felt. I want to make sure I never forget how dangerous slipping back into gaming or drugs can be. Like I said, I've had slips ups -- but I hope to never sink back down again.

In my previous post I mentioned the anger I had for my past.While I still regret the way I treated my family -- I'm no longer angry. Everything I've gone through has molded me into the person I am today. I can even go as far to say that I'm lucky for what I experienced. I learned lessons in life that have followed me for years and I'd like to think have matured me

I hope everything has been going well with everyone at Olganon! Please feel free to reach out to me if you're looking for any support. Although I'm no expert myself, it has always helped me to confide in others who've had similar experiences.

Happy new year!

Dylanlev
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Powerful relapse -- same feeling from 7 years ago

So it's been close to seven years from my first post. I saw incredible changes in my life -- it's been a rocky but upward moving path to a better life without gaming. Sad to however that this summer I went back to WoW -- it was short lived, but it affected me for the longterm. The relapse consisted of about three or four weeks of playing whenever I could. 

I think the relapse resulted me from having fear of leaving college, and starting a new job. I felt a need to go back in time to when I was a kid and spent all of my time on that game. What's sad is I saw all the terrible qualities come back, I started to ignore my family. As always I'm happy I caught it in time before I was in over my head. 

I think what really hit me was a comment my girlfriend as we were in the car leaving from my Mom's house. She told me "You just sat on your phone the whole time and barely talked to your Mom". That hit me hard, made me feel terrible -- it brough me back to the same feeling I had when I first made my first post on here close to 7 years ago. I knew that feeling well and I know I need to stay away from gaming, and I even need to cut back on things like Reddit -- it really consumes you.

I've read here before that fighting addiction is a life-long journey. I don't think I've ever really understood that statement untill now. I think I'll just have to continue to remind myself that I will always have addict like qualities, and continue to watch my self. I believe part of it is inherited from my father, he is a diffrent kind of addict. Compulsive gambling ruined a lot of his life -- he regrets so much and and can only see in the impact now in hindsight. It's why I have so much empathy for what he has gone through.

Enough with the sadness, my life has turned out for the best. I'm working full time for an incredible company and my future is bright. I've been dating a girl for about a year and a half now and it's looking like we're going to have a long future together. For anyone fighting a similar struggle I hope you can confide in the same struggle I have. I've had incredible ups and downs, but there's always been an overarching theme in my life that ackowleding my addiction, and continuing to fight against it has complete changed my life. I would not be the sucessful person I am today without the help of this forum. I will continue to strive to be better to my family -- and I thank all of you for your help along the way. As always please feel free to reach out to me, I'm always happy to help in anyway I can. 

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Welcome back Dylanlev !

Welcome back Dylanlev !

Thank you for such a powerful update. Sharing your experience with us is a great support.

 

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Thank you for your update

Thank you for your update Dylanlev. It's great to see you back after all of these years. Reading through these posts brought back many feelings and memories.

I too have recently relapsed after a period of gaming sobriety. I keep trying to look on the bright side and tell myself that tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. If you can do it, I can do it too :)

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sharing

Thanks for sharing Dylanlev.

Me too a similar story, but with a different rocky road. At the start of 2010 I went into a really bad year, and gamed all the time. It was the darkest year I ever head, I think. Once I realized I had a problem, I started working on it. 

It has been a rocky road with a lot of relapses. But now quite long clear (246 days) and the last couple of relapses I had were very much less intense and shorter periods than the older onces. It is loosing its power over me. 

Life quality has improved dramatically compared to back then, just like yours has.

I also discovered some underlying issues, things that kind of impact and hurt my feelings quite a lot. It is like that stuff is now uncovered, and now I need to give it a place. This has been the hardest thing latelty. But I feel again, and I am confronting it. So I see this as a good thing.

Sometimes I do feel the pull of gaming again. I just recently finished an education. Now I think I need to look for another job, more in line with my "qualifications". And somehow thoughts of gaming came back to my mind. Curious how that goes. Now, like you, I see this as a warning sign, usually for something else going in a way that I do not like.

Welcome back.

"I want to see people and I want to see life."

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