A unique addiction to OLGA. A deep rooted one.

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TheaterofHope
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A unique addiction to OLGA. A deep rooted one.

This addiction is concerning Runescape.

To start off I am not a level 126 member who plays xxx hours per week. I havent lost freinds due to runescape and it was a moderate-high addiction.

I have started playing this game since I was 11. From the daycare afterschool I went where everyone literally played it. Back then the game was vibrant and the music heart-touching.

The max level I reached was 30 and I was a member for one month.

Fast forward 4 years I started playing again but from scratch since I couldnt recover my account. When the wlderness and free trade was gone I quit.

---

Now the story starts.... It was Febuary 2012 when free trade and wilderness came back. Prices of every item were increasing and the major recession was ending. The developers of the game started combatting bots ever and it was a good time to start playing.

Until June I have made a clan of 150 people with its own dedicated website I created. I have made several good freinds, got to level 60 and on one occasion got a free level 122 account for 7 days I had control over (no items within it though).

During the summer I decided to become a member. Now this was the time I became addicted to the game. I bought membership for myself and completed dozens of quests. Reached a total skill level of 1500 and reached level 80. I harnessed 10M of coins. But my final year of highschool approached and I had to quit if I wanted to go into university.

I realized that because there was so much to do in membership I lost all my RS freinds to time devoted to quests and member-skills. Membership is dynamic and there is no free time unless your at the top to communicate with people.

At the end of the summer I gave away all my money, and the clan which had 130 people in it who were mostly inactive to my last freind in the game. I then quit regretfully losing my membership and now its January. A year anniversy.

I am buried in work yet now have this urge to play the game. Yet every time I log in Im left with nothing since what I did was so effective.

I am in love with the music of the game and dont buy into the stigma of the game. I had a girlfreind, high marks and a couple of freinds (half who werent gamers) when I played it and openly could say I slay dragons in falador ect..

Now I want to spend my money on coins/membership to get me back to where I was.

I daydream about the music and have a blissful moment when I rmemebered walking through the square when I was 11 or all the good times I had playing with my online freinds.

What is this? Why?

Right now I still play 1-2 hours daily of other games- maybe to compensate for the deep rooted obsession I had of this game. Rationally I dont want to be max level in RS since its pointless and my real life is more important.

Please help

TheaterofHope
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I am not playing RS

I am not playing RS currently just to clarify

Kate1song
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TheaterofHope wrote: Now I
TheaterofHope wrote:

Now I want to spend my money on coins/membership to get me back to where I was.

I daydream about the music and have a blissful moment when I rmemebered walking through the square when I was 11 or all the good times I had playing with my online freinds.

What is this? Why?

Right now I still play 1-2 hours daily of other games- maybe to compensate for the deep rooted obsession I had of this game. Rationally I dont want to be max level in RS since its pointless and my real life is more important.

Please help

I can say that some of my gaming compulsion came from un dealt with stress. Rather than deal with it in a healthy way, I turned to gaming. When I quit, there were many times when I would day dream about playing. I never dreampt about the endless grinding, or rude fellow players or the time wasted and tasks left undone. It was always about moments of fun chat or virtual places I'd seen..

Now, when I get those kinds of nostagic thoughts, I accept them, but let them pass. I don't act on them, because for me, gaming wasted too much of my precious time that I can never get back. I don't want to spend another moment grinding for nothing .. ever again.

Patria
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Like Kate I had a lot of

Like Kate I had a lot of undealt with stress.

But before gaming I was able to manage the stress. I went kayaking and hiking and loved it all. Yet gave all of that up to game.

And right after I quit gaming (and I'm still quit) I still often think of going back to gaming. My emotions are still wanting to game. But my intellect says no, we can do other things.

That's why I like the meetings here every night because it reenforces my desire to stay quit from gaming. I love real life, there is a lot in it that is exciting and pleasurable. There is still a lot of stress in my life, but I learned not to run from it, but to manage it.

Quitting and staying quit can be quite tough, that is why I love the fellowship here to help me. It's my new OLGA Guild, to using a gaming term.

But real life has more levels than any game, has more options, more coins, more tasks, more treasure, more treasure hunts, and is never-ending. Life is only as dull as we can make it. And I love an exciting life.

(p.s. your position isn't unique...we have an entire fellowship here in the same boat.)

TheaterofHope
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Are you implying I play

Are you implying I play games to mitigate my stress??

Kate1song
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TheaterofHope wrote: Are
TheaterofHope wrote:

Are you implying I play games to mitigate my stress??

I'm sharing my personal experience in response to this comment. I'd also say that this desire to play, in and of itself, is causing you stress. No?

"I am buried in work yet now have this urge to play the game."

Kate1song
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Double post  

Double post

TheaterofHope
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It is to some degree causing

It is to some degree causing me stress. I just wish this video game addiction was obselete. That I found something more productive.

If you gave up your addiction how was your life aftwards? Did you feel liberated?

Patria
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TheaterofHope wrote: It is
TheaterofHope wrote:

It is to some degree causing me stress. I just wish this video game addiction was obselete. That I found something more productive.

If you gave up your addiction how was your life aftwards? Did you feel liberated?

Addictions cause stress.

When my gaming addiction was arrested--I ceased to play--I am learning how to live my life again without video games.

My life is as interesting as I make it. Now I do activities that make me happy, but it just isn't games anymore, and that's very liberating.

Allerseelen
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TheaterofHope wrote: Are
TheaterofHope wrote:

Are you implying I play games to mitigate my stress??

We're implying that many of us did--and still would, given half the chance. Disentangling stress from one's addictions is very difficult. I gamed to get away from responsibilities or looming deadlines, and when I returned to the real world, the responsibilities and deadlines were still there, only much scarier and more urgent. This in turn caused more stress, which drove me right back into gaming. It's a feedback cycle of exponentially-increasing magnitudes, and the easiest way for me to break it is to confront my stress without using gaming as an escape. Your mileage may vary.

Taking Steps toward recovery since November 2, 2012. The difficulty of the path makes it worth the walking.

Kate1song
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TheaterofHope wrote: It is
TheaterofHope wrote:

It is to some degree causing me stress. I just wish this video game addiction was obselete. That I found something more productive.

If you gave up your addiction how was your life aftwards? Did you feel liberated?

I relapsed once. And that was terrible. What helped me break free for good was when I learned to deal with my anxiety without looking toward escapist behavior like gaming.

When I was able to get a bit of inner peace, the desire to game (which caused a lot of pain in my life) dissipated. I no longer feel those urges any longer.. and I've mental tools to cope..

Gettingalife
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Quote: When I was able to
Quote:

When I was able to get a bit of inner peace, the desire to game (which caused a lot of pain in my life) dissipated. I no longer feel those urges any longer.. and I've mental tools to cope..

Ditto. And I know myself well enough and understand human behavior enough to know that I want to continue to practice using these tools consciously, daily because I lived a lot of years without these tools, and it's so very easy for me to revert to the habitual patterns of the past that did not work for me.

Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!

TheaterofHope
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Its a deep rooted problem I

Its a deep rooted problem I guess. Ever since I was 7 when I got my first PC Ive been playing. Back then the games were 'magic schoolbus' and 'tonka rescue ect..'. The game backgrunds looked like paintings....

Years later games started to become more elaborate. Every year there is a new Halo, Simcity, Civilization, a new RTW is coming next year and virtual gaming is coming into the market.

This is the worst age for my addiction

I feel like Im in bliss when I play. Right now I have so many responbilities and university is coming for me next year and within it I will be studying physics, calculus and chemistry- while managing myself. I am trying to get fully rid of this addiction but everywhere I go its there. My father, younger brother play them and they are sucessful in life.

I know playing games cannot harm one if played moderatly but I can acheive so much without it.

Kate1song
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TheaterofHope wrote:  I
TheaterofHope wrote:

I know playing games cannot harm one if played moderatly but I can acheive so much without it.

yes. Well said.

vesalian.prime
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TheaterofHope wrote: This
TheaterofHope wrote:

This is the worst age for my addiction

Yes, I think you are right. College is an important time, not only to your future career but to your entire life. If done right, you can find lifelong friends and maybe even a lifelong love in college. You will become the adult you want to be in every sense of the word. No pressure though ;) It can also be terrific fun ;)

But none of that will happen if you hide inside of a game. Speaking for myself, stress and great expectations can drive me to video gaming, or any other type of escape (movies, food, porn, you name it). So go easy on yourself. In spite of all the expectations, college is supposed to be fun. Whether that fun includes video gaming for you, I don't know (see below).

TheaterofHope wrote:

I feel like Im in bliss when I play. Right now I have so many responbilities and university is coming for me next year and within it I will be studying physics, calculus and chemistry- while managing myself. I am trying to get fully rid of this addiction but everywhere I go its there. My father, younger brother play them and they are sucessful in life.

Only you can decide if you are an addict. It sounds like you self-identify as one. If you are, you can never play casually again. That is simply not in the charts. You can have a great, fun life. But you can not do that and play games. It does not matter what people around you do.

You will need an outlet when you are under stress. I suggest you find something you enjoy that takes you away from the computer. Sports, hiking, movie theatre, dating, whatever. If you are like me, videogaming will simply draw you in and suck the weeks out of you, leaving you exhausted, out of time, and unable to muster the energy to study.

Good luck.

Perhaps a man who is worthy of the name should put aside this question of how long he will live ..., and turn his attention to this instead, to how he can live the best life possible in the time that is granted to him
Marcus Aurelius

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