This is going to sound rather strange... but I tend to view life as a game. Like... for day 1 I cleaned the kitchen to keep myself occupied from gaming. And of course the kitchen gets dirty the day after (minor stuff, like dishes)... and I view the dishes as a "respawn" of an enemy. So I just clean the dishes.
Dishes = Enemy
Cleaning the dish = Killing enemy = exp towards Day 1.
Each day is a lvl.
Does that make sense to anyone else? As a lifelong gamer, I just think my mind is wired a bit differently.
When I was gaming, I used to think like this. Now, I strive to be just a guy living life. Just a guy walking the dog. Just a guy waiting for the train. Etc. I avoid thinking about things in gaming terms because it brings back thoughts of gaming and the desire to play.
Not weird at all. Dishes are the real life grind. I don't game, but I give myself real life quest rewards, like a Starbucks coffee or a itunes download. You can find a real life reward for every budget and every "grind". Do what you have to do to get through so many dailies. Put a sticker on your calendar or something. A gold star. Anyway awesome job staying busy. Busy hands don't game!
I experienced more of this while I was gaming. For example, when I was walking down the street, and I perceived another person as a threat for whatever reason, I'd try to line-of-sight them as soon as possible. But now that I'm about 6 weeks clean these kinds of thoughts have largely dissipated.
One aspect of your post reminds me of something disturbing though: how violent the game world is. Everything in my games of choice basically boiled down to killing. In real life I'm actually more of a gentle person. I try to follow (some) Buddhist precepts, including refraining from taking any life. I'm vegetarian as a consequence of that. I try not to even kill an insect in my home if I can avoid it. But in-game I was running around killing constantly...and loving it! Disturbing.
Ah well. Can't change the past. Can focus on not gaming today, one day at a time.
Some people do treat each day game-free as a level-up at the start. It can help to replace that in-game feeling of achievement with real-life achievement. And keeping busy is a good plan. You're doing great Cursed, thanks for sharing!
Yes, a lifetime of gaming wires the brain differently. With time, patience and persistence in a recovery program, it will heal. These slogans have helped me keep good perspective along the way: "One day at a time", "Progress not perfection", and "Easy does it."
What you feed grows, and what you starve withers away.
I agree with Benek. It seems it would be a great way to reinforce the idea that the greatest game of all is Real Life. I never thought of it before but yes the gaming world is really nothing but violence. Killing this, killing that. I am a Buddhist and a vegetarian and have been so for many years. I dont drink or smoke. When I find an insect in the house I am quite likely to take it outside instead of killing it. It seems inconceivable that I could enjoy an activity that goes against everything I believe in. How disturbing indeed. What an eye-opener!
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
~Buddha