Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours to a

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IAmAWowAddict
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Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours to a

Hello to all,

I am a severe WoW addict. Female 28 yrs married. I have been playing the game since its release in 2005, I have 2 level 70 characters all geared in epics and a few other lower levels which I play when I am bored or when I want to get away from the guild.

Back before the release of the Burning Crusade, in real life I was a team lead with an MNC and was doing I would say pretty good in my career, but I was having a problem with my lack of confidence leading my team and having a game to release tension at night and feeling like I was the best dps-er there was like an outlet from real life issues. It came to a point where instead of thinking of my next career move, I was instead thinking of when I would go home and pvp to get those epics from AB reputations or to raids and which loot I would bid on. At my work, I hated being a lead and having to get people to deliver. Although my managers were saying I was doing a great job, I was always thinking that they were saying that because of the high attrition rate and they could not afford to lose me because I was with the project since its infancy. And that made me resentful towards the tasks I was being handed to work on instead of taking them as a challenge. I wanted to escape from it.

Being from a 12 hr timezone difference from my guild, I would start skipping job feigning sickness to raid during the week. That gave me more fun than having to face the realities of my job. WoW was slowly gaining over me cos I was the better player and even my GM praised me. I was in total control in WoW but not in real life. Finally I couldn't take it anymore when BC was getting nearer. I submitted my resignation and quit my job so that I could concentrate to level to 70. I was the first one in my guild to hit the cap. After that, I became increasingly more involved in the guild helping people to level and to attain the Karazhan attunements since I was the more experienced player.

When my husband and I moved house in May, I even worked out with him so that my PC would be the last piece to leave our old house so that I could continue playing. I even slept in the empty house for a day so that I could raid. To make it short, my life is full of WoW and on maintenance days, I am surfing the WoW forums, finding out new ways to play my character or posting in our guild forums. It has been like 8 to 9 months now that I am jobless and playing this stupid game.

Thing is, my husband disapproves of my gaming, but he does not shut me from his life, we just live our lives. I would help him, cook for him sometimes and we go out shopping on weekends provided it doesn't clash with my raid times. Sometimes he even makes plans so that our outings does not hinder my game time. His acceptance of letting me continute with my game makes me all the more guilty of spending so much time online and I love him to death for doing all this for me.

I am not saying I want to throw away my accounts. Like many WoW addicts, I think that there's just too many hours invested in my characters to warrant deleting or even ebaying them for cash. I love my characters, they're Uber and not only that, they're the names that my online friends relate to. If I delete my character no one will remember me.

So what I would like to do is try not to spend time on the game that much and restrict my gaming time to a few hours a day. To be honest it isn't even funny anymore to stand around in Ironforge for hours doing nothing but trying to outsmart other people in the chat channels. I would also like to find some other interests as well as start applying for a new job. I badly need a new haircut as well.

Do you think that would work, me trying to restrict my gaming hours? I realize as well that I will need to work on my issues at work as well. Also to all WoW Addicts, hang in there I hope u find something worthwhile outside the game to work on. Much love to all, I am glad that I have found a place where people know what I am talking about.

shiva
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

Welcome dear friend. Many of us, including me have been at your place. In fact, I myself have been struggling for 2 years now in reconciling gaming and life after I became addicted. I wonA't speak for others but for me ultimately it does not work. I spend far too much time gaming and reading about games than I would like and even though my real life is not on a downward, but on an upward spiral now, the spiral will be so much steeper if I only would stick to my own decisions - the inability of doing this, is the marking point of addiction by the way.

Quote:

I am not saying I want to throw away my accounts. Like many WoW addicts, I think that there's just too many hours invested in my characters to warrant deleting or even ebaying them for cash.

This is called sunk costs in economics. 100.000$ invested into a fake company sure warrant the investment of 100.000$ more just to keep up the illusion for a while that the first 100.000$ were not lost, hmm?!

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I love my characters, they're Uber and not only that, they're the names that my online friends relate to. If I delete my character no one will remember me.

Yes, thatA's the point. Noone will remember YOU there no matter what, everyone ONLY remembers your characters. But your husband actually remembers you. And like some people here on this board can tell you. At some point, enough is enough.

BigH501
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t
Quote:

I am not saying I want to throw away my accounts. Like many WoW addicts, I think that there's just too many hours invested in my characters to warrant deleting or even ebaying them for cash. I love my characters, they're Uber and not only that, they're the names that my online friends relate to. If I delete my character no one will remember me.

[size=14] Welcome to OLGA. I know exactly how you feel. When I switched to EQ2 from EQ1 I maintained my EQ1 accounts for over 2 years, just because I didn't want to "loose" them or the time invested in them. I finally came to the realization that there was really nothing there to save... All that time invested, was already "gone" :( ...and my "friends" on-line ? Well the ONLY thing we had in common was the game. When I realized I needed to stop playing, well there was nothing there... I realized they weren't "really" friends. Just toons on a screen, characters in a game I played... I really wasn't loosing anything because I never "had" anything. Just the illusions of having something. You may or may not come to similar realizations, until that time, if it makes you more comfortable to "save" your toons, please do. [/size]

Quote:

Do you think that would work, me trying to restrict my gaming hours? I realize as well that I will need to work on my issues at work as well. Also to all WoW Addicts, hang in there I hope u find something worthwhile outside the game to work on. Much love to all, I am glad that I have found a place where people know what I am talking about.

[size=14]
For a very very few it does work to restrict time, for the vast majority, it does not. Let us know how you make out.[/size]

" ... don't question it just go" "... where the body goes the mind will follow"
.
Borrowed from "Desire to Stop"

jodie
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

welcome, my first post was yesterday, In Repair, and I can really feel ur pain. My addicted self tried to limit my playing time but it just never happened. Perhaps u will be more fortunate. Count all ypur lucky stars (twice in fact) for your husband, he sounds like a good man. You have definetly come to a place that provided great healing for me in time of crisis, I read a few posts everyday. (Sometimes more than just a few.) Just reading others stories made me not feel so alone. I was grief stricken at the thought of abandoning my kinship (Lotro guild), and my 'friends'. Well a few favorites shared e-mail address, i have sent out a few short missives to touch in and have received no replies. It's not ME that they liked, it was my toon, and my toon is not real. Ultimately the game is all about being alone, under the guise of a luring social world full of adventure and accomplishments. Always achieving great things whilst sitting still. Glad to have u here, I hope to read more from you soon.

Katesha
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

Welcome to Olga! Congratulations on realizing you have a problem with gaming. That is the first step to fixing the problem. We have had a few here that have tried moderation to remedy the issues caused by gaming. I too even tried it 3 different times and always managed to get sucked back into my 16 to 20 hours a day. There is always just that one more thing to be done or that one more person who needs help. There are very few who actually manage to pull it off, and I wish you luck. I too have to express to you that the time you have played is gone and nothing can be done to retrieve it. Spending more time to try and not 'lose' the time just equates to more time lost. I actually stopped playing for a month before I went back in to delete my characters. When I logged back in to delete my characters, I got very few whispers from my 'friends'. The few I got were wanting to know if I could heal for them. After I explained I was quitting for good, they asked me for my account. True friends.... Just some food for thought for you. My experiences are not that different from many others. I hope you are successful at trying ot moderate your gaming. Kathy

MagicBlackCat
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

Hi and welcome to OLGA! You have come to right place. It took me a lot of time to realize what a time sink WoW was. I have a very addictive personality and relished in the friendships I found in WoW as well as the ability to be someone I was not in real life. I have not yet canceled my subscription or uninstalled the game from the system. Recovery for me is all about fighting the temptation. Recovering alcoholics will tell you it's very hard to go into a bar and not have a drink, but for me it's like I have to prove to myself I am NOT addicted to the game. There have been times when I have had nothing else to do (boyfriend watching TV, house clean, pets fed and played with, etc) that I have sat there and looked at the WoW icon and actually logged in. I sit there for awhile staring at my characters, doing an inventory of the stories I have made for them and trying to think of where I wanted to take them. Realizing what a time sink it has been for me however does not sop the fact that I don't want to waste more time trying to get them to the next level, increase their professions, or even continue their storyline. And so..one by one I am deleting my characters. I have started with lowbies and am working my way up to the ones I have become 'attached' to. My level 70 pally will be the hardest I know as a lot of people in the game have come to depend on her in guild raids and I have a great storyline for her. My plans are to plan her demise from the game, hold a nice RP event where she is banished from the lands (closure for my story) and then delete her. >.< . I would say I stopped playing addictively two months ago as I have only logged onto play twice and each session was only about 2 hours. So, for me I have been extremely successful in not allowing WoW to interfere with real life lately, I have forced myself to find other things to do (which included cleaning out my walk in closet which I haven't done in three years!) and in doing those other things I have found further enjoyment in the fact that I have resisted the temptation to give into the addiction. Stay strong and stay focused. You can do it!

mkoco04
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

My personal experience has shown two things which I'd like mention. One, whenever I play any game at all, I get obsessed and just want to play more and more, and retreat into that more and more from real life. And two: I'm just like you:

Quote:

I would say pretty good in my career, but I was having a problem with my lack of confidence leading my team and having a game to release tension at night and feeling like I was the best dps-er there was like an outlet from real life issues.

I game to escape real life into a fantasy world where I'm important and powerful. But it doesn't work. If it did work I wouldn't be here posting, and you probably wouldn't either. Bottom line: The game doesn't deliver what I *think* it will, it only makes things worse whenever I play, whether its 1 hour or 12 hours.

The Guy
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

First thing first, you said it is no longer fun ( or funny? ) to you anymore, ask your self if you no longer enjoy it why still play it? if you didnt enjoy drinking pepsi anymore, wouldnt you just stop and find something else to quench your thirst?

Quote:

they're the names that my online friends relate to. If I delete my character no one will remember me.

if thats true are they really your friends? this to me was the biggest wake up call when i quit eq, i had HUNDREDS of friends from 6 + years of playing the game, after quiting, i keep in touch with 2, out of hundreds of people, 2 of them were my real friends. ask your self, are they your friends because of who YOU are, or are they your friends because of your gear and what your in game character can do for them? another thing to think of, think of how uber your chars are, how much tmie you put into them, think of how much wasted time that is, now think of keeping them... how much more time in the future will you end up wasting on the game? that is timeA you can end up spending on something outside of wow, on something real. walking away from the game is bar none no doubt about it the hardest part, you will convince your self its imposble, but when your ready to do it, and its behind you, it gets easier and easier, the first step is the hardest, it is the leap of faith, have faith in your self, have faith in the ability to take controll of y our life again, then do as nike said and just do it :

anonymous (not verified)
Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

Hey there. Good luck with it all. For background, my current self-enforced gaming rules are:
- no playing on consecutive nights
- no more than two hours a session
- never play when my better half is awake It used to be more (I still don't know if I was addicted - trying to figure it out is how I found this site :)). I'm guessing you're aiming for something like that? What made it achievable for me was a _lot_ of time away from the PC. I'd visit friends and relatives for weekends, popped over to New Zealand for a week, took the pets camping, stuff like that. No PC, no option but not to not game. I'd intentionally structure things so I had no computer available for gaming. It was weird, simple things like having the weekly family dinner at another members house would make an evening's gaming impossible. So would working late on a particular project off site. If you try that path, it might help you out? Cheers.

IAmAWowAddict
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

Hello all, thank you for your replies. Yes, Goren, what you have described is what I had in mind. But I feared so much of losing control if I tried playing for restricted hours that I did not touch WoW at all for the past two days. I've instead spent my time watch tv serials, cooking and spending quality time with my husband. When I started with tv serials, I felt panic rising cos it was the same feeling of senseless 'need' to watch the next one and the next and the one after, so I stopped that too. Other than that, seems good so far. But deep down, I am scared that if things go smooth, I may start thinking, ok maybe one hour or two online :- So earlier, I've told my guild that I'm over with WoW. I am hoping that giving the guild up = less temptation going online cos my main addiction is my guild friends and raiding. So yay I got to say, I'm half relieved half sad. I am hoping to take a step further this weekend by cancelling my subscription. Oh this will be hard! >:( I'll let you guys know how it goes.

IwasFooled
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

It's weird - I just read how you felt watching TV! I did the same after finishing playing Guild Wars - I startet watching series. Just to avoid gaming - I watched all Dr. house Episodes in one week (a lot of hours) and then I watched every Star Wars Episode and so on... So in the way I just switch to another senseless thing, but in the end it was still better than gaming to me because everything was better back then. Maybe you should avoid soaps. But for the fear of returning to play WoW I did a very simple thing - I used the parental restriction tool for my account, and put in only a hour from mo - thu and let a good friend of mine switch the password :). No way to play more than 4 hours a week. It worked very well for me, because I didn't even used the time I allowed myself. Got more and more unimportant to me!

BoB

Don't fool yourself with the 'What if' phrase!

Katesha
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t
"IAmAWowAddict " wrote:

I am hoping to take a step further this weekend by cancelling my subscription. Oh this will be hard!A >:( I'll let you guys know how it goes.

I cried when I made the decision to quit the game again. I cried when I closed the account. I cried when I reopened the account and deleted my characters and ended it for good. Each step along the way is hard, but each one is a little easier than the last. When I made the decision to delete my characters, I too started with the baby ones and then slowly moved up to my main. The first one was easy. Took me 2 seconds. The last one took me 15 minutes of staring at the screen before I finally hit delete. It was a mixed thing to finally end it all. I grieved the loss of my characters immensely, but at the same time I felt relief that they were gone and joy at a new beginning in my life. Kathy

anonymous (not verified)
Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

Hey there. Great stuff. I know what you mean about guilds, my involvement with mine has changed a lot - instead of talking about in game stuff, I talk about what book I'm reading or what I made for dinner. The members who I used to take on instance runs weren't terribly happy about it, but I've made a few knew new virtual friends out of it (turns out there were some closet bibliophiles in the guild... cool). Cheers.

IAmAWowAddict
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

Maaaaaaaaaaan its so boring >:( I can't sleep at night and cos I had nothing else to do, I watched tv serials one after another. How do u guys hold on at night? I even baked a cake at 2am and resumed my serials.

Katesha
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

Unfortunately, I didn't have a problem sleeping at night because I slept alot after I quit. Perhaps some physical activity during the day would help you sleep at night? Forgive me if you are already doing something along those lines. Here is a link of what some other gamers have done to fill the void left by the game: http://www.olganonboard.org/index.php?topic=3899.0. I hope that may give you some ideas! Kathy

anonymous (not verified)
Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

Snuggle up next to your better half? "lets get frisky to take my mind off WoW" probably isn't that romantic, but husbands aren't known to complain about such things. :) At night, I'm knackered after my evening trip to the gym. If I'm not I take my dogs for another walk. Good luck.

lauramc
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

There is a place in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (the organization that all 12-step programs come from) that talks about the alcoholics quest to control their drinking. It talks about the lengths that the members went to to restrict their alcohol intake. Many tried only drinking beer, or only drinking wine. Some tried to drink only at certain times of the day, etc. etc. I tried playing games only during the week. Only after work. Only until such and such a time. Only one more hour. Only for a few minutes. Or maybe I would just log in and not play. Like the alcoholics, I was unsuccessful because I had not yet grasped the fundamental principle of any 12-step program. That I had no control over my disease. That no human power could have relieved my compulsive gaming. That a Higher Power (whether I chose to call that God, the support group, a tree, the Universe or whatever) could and would relieve my compulsive gaming if I chose to seek Him/Her/It or They. When I let go of the idea that I had control or ever could control my disease, I was able to walk away. Today, I make the choice not to log in.

shiva
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

Same here, simply letting it all go is tough and easy at the same time. I needed to bump my head for about 2 years to finally make that decision that I can not do moderation in moderation. Not having much moderation is one of the defining personality traits of many addiction prone people I know.

The Guy
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

im a night owl, i usualy sleep from 5 am til noon, during the day / evening hours its not too hard to fil the time. late at night, when no ones around but me, I watch the big brother live feeds and also watch alot of TV shows which i download, watch alot of movies, research things on the web such as fishing trips fishing bait or whatever else i feel i may need a lil more info on, i also play offline games, which helps to fill my time, but offline games can be dangerous, many a compuslive gamer are unable to play anygames so if you try this, be weary that it could be a slipery slope for you. the first month after i quit eq filling the time was pretty hard, its gotten alot easier now

lauramc
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t
"The Guy " wrote:

the first month after i quit eq filling the time was pretty hard, its gotten alot easier now

Good to know. I have yet to find a life and I hope to find some balance soon.

Katesha
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

It took me over a month to get the energy to even start pondering doing other things. Some need to find other things to do to keep them away from the games. Others, like me, need 'down' time to recovery emotionally and physically from the addiction before moving forward. Actually, thinking about this, I am still trying to find other things to do to fill the time. I have actually considered trying to find a job (as soon as the Canadian government lets me) which, as some will vouch, was something I fought against as little as 2 months ago. We all grow in our own time. We just have to make sure we are not using that as an excuse to not move forward when we can. I am loath to admit it, but this is something I have done and am probably still doing. Kathy

lauramc
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

Wonderful and encouraging words, Kathy and Guy. This is helping me tremendously.

jodie
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

Ya, filling time. Sheesh. I've cleaned the garage, gardened like mad and I'm tearing through the books. We don't have a TV. I have teenagers, the two don't mix. Still feel listless, bored and useless. Interesting new concept. Useless whilst being productive. Man did the game skew my thinking. I think the warning label that should come with these games should administer a powerful electric shock that follows with the message "WARNING, may **** you up entirely".

The Guy
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

here is one way to look at it, instead of looking at it from the perspective that you now have so much time to fill and your soo bored, be thankful ! thankful that you have so much time to acomplish things other then sitting infront of a game for hours on end, having all that newly aquired free time is not a bad thing at all, and finding new things you enjoy to fill it can be fun and exciting in its own right ;) oh, i also wanted to add, as far as TV serials go, I think this is actualy not as unhealthy as it may seem on the surface, sure you may blast through a season of TV in a day or 2, but then it ends, and its over, unlike the games that go on for ever and ever, and the more time that goes by the more you will fill it with other things and the less and less of these youll watch until you are down to maybe 1 or 2 a day which is prefectly healthy.

IwasFooled
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Re: Yet another WoW addict trying to restrict gaming hours t

I agree to your opinion on TV soaps - the don't really get me wiser ;9 but they kept my mind of games. I did that a little time after my first game to keep me from gameing and it helped. But in the long run I have to admit, that I don't really like watching TV shows, because I get bored to easily. But finding new things to do is quite fun to me right now, and starting new hobbis brought (and will bring) myself to get to know more people - and making new friends in RL is the thing taht actually keeps my mind completly from games during this days :)

BoB

Don't fool yourself with the 'What if' phrase!

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