Well here I am once again 1 year later.
I have decided to give up my game. I am completely powerless over it and it rules much of my life. I cannot 'just play'... and here's why.
1) The game increases my adrenalin and I have a strong desire to impress the other online players. In fact, the game is strangely geared towards having this arrogance and there is a lot of emotion invested by all the players; people work hard just so they can show off (in a very sad and isolated/alone kind of way--if you look at it in the 3rd person). This "rush" that I get from the game is addictive like cigarrettes and it makes my want to play more and more.
2) The game is very time consuming. Matches last about an hour each and I can easily get drawn into playing 6-8 matches per day.
3) The game is always on my mind and I neglect my loved ones and myself. All I can think about and plan is the next time I can play.
4) Health issues from all the clicking/mouse jerks (I'm not joking), posture, and staring at a screen cannot be all that good.
I have uninstalled the game (and all other games on my computer). This feels severe. Half of me says it must be done and the other half says that I am being cruel and that I cut away something that I enjoy.
I am scared of tomorrow. What am I going to do? Yes I am going to go to the gym and yes I am going to feed myself but I feel so empty and bored without my game. I am starting a new job next week. I need to get my mind off games!!! I will start a journal tomorrow.
Pray for me.
EDIT: "Gaming IS addictive and it CAN destroy your life."