Addicted to Game of War

10 posts / 0 new
Last post
RedViper100
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 11 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 11/28/2016 - 5:40pm
Addicted to Game of War

I confronted my addiction today.  I did so when my wife asked about a credit card balance in my name only.  I have spent $7k over two years on the game.  As I looked at it, I realized how much time and attention I have taken away from my family.  I am deeply ashamed and depressed. She is really mad and I don't think she will trust me again.  This is my soul laid bare, can anyone help me?

RV

struggling_gamer
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 05/30/2016 - 8:09pm
There is hope

Hi RedViper100,

Thank you for sharing your struggle. Confronting any issue like this is not easy, so congrats on taking the first step! I am new to OLGAnon myself and only have somewhere around 50 days of gaming sobriety. Even at 50 days away from games I'm doing significantly better than I was while I was gaming (which lasted for over 10 years).

My latest struggle too has been phone/tablet games. I'm such a better person when I don't play them. For instance, I'm more present and I can actually sit and listen to my partner without thinking about game strategies or who I'm going to go up in battle against next. I love my game-free life, even less than two months in.

There are some things I recommend to help you along your way:

- It's going to be difficult at first, especially with the remorse and lack of trust from your wife. You're going to need to make a firm commitment that you are done gaming. You'll want to talk to her about it, not to try to get her trust back but to let her know that you've gone as far down as you want to go. Her trust will come back with time when she sees you not playing games and not spending money on them.

- Stay busy. When coming off of an addiction like this, everything may seem dull and boring, but it's important to fill your time with rewarding activities. At the top of the list is being of service, as this produces the most joy and sense of purpose. Ask your wife what you can do to help out around the house and then do it with joy and enthusiasm. Not only will this make you feel good, but it will help restore harmony to your home. If you don't see any opportunities to be of service right at the moment, feel free to explore a new hobby or pick back up an old one. I'm about to get back into guitar and I'm really looking forward to it. Pretty soon, even when you have just a few days away from games, you'll be able to share your experience with others. There are many who can't go a single day without gaming.

- Take a good look at what being a video game addict means. What does it mean to be powerless over video games? There are two pieces to addiction: one is that when you start to play you can't say for sure when you're going to stop. Ever set out to play for one hour and then ended up playing for 4 hours, and then been tired or called in sick to work the next day? I've certainly done it. Normal people don't do that, only addicts do. Normal people can play games for 1 hour, if they say that's all they're going to play, EVERY TIME they play. In other words, normal people NEVER play for more than they say they're going to play for. The other piece is a mental obsession, where we always go back to gaming after stopping and telling ourselves we aren't going to play anymore. I can't even tell you how many times I've said to myself "it will be different this time", "that new game won't suck me in like the last one did", etc. By the nature of addiction, we always end up back where we were before if not worse off. That's where help comes in.

- The 12 steps will give you a life you never thought you could have. I've worked the 12 steps multiple times for other addictions and my life is significantly better than it used to be. I was a college dropout facing a year in jail due to some pretty substantial trouble I had gotten in with the law. Nobody wanted anything to do with me because I lied, cheated, and stole to get what I needed to get to be okay. Today, less than 6 years later, I have the respect of my family and friends again. I was able to go back to school, finish my degree, and get a job at a repectable company. I'm making more money than I thought was possible. I have a wonderful partner who loves me unconditionally. Etc. It's important to do recovery for us and let everything else fall into place in its own time.

I look forward to watching your progress RV. Please check in with us daily to let us know where you're at.

Ritchy
Offline
Last seen: 7 hours 46 min ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/04/2015 - 3:09pm
Welcome

Hi, glad you found us here!  I too spent thousands on games, an embarrassing fact at the time that is now just a thing of that past that reminds me of why it's so important to not start that first game.

I'd be glad to talk some time.  It's important to make connections and support each other.  I was never able to stay off games long term when I was trying it by myself.  Check out the meetings too.  It's fine to come and just listen.

http://www.olganon.org/forum/line-meetings-message-board/all-online-meetings-computervideo-gaming-addicts

planner
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 6 days ago
OLGA member
Joined: 09/02/2014 - 6:27am
hello

hello

Although there are many wrong things we did when gaming. but we should not keep punishing ourselves. Most of our behaviours were not normal because of our addiction. you did not have a lack of control when you spent money on gaming but had an illness and should seek a treatment. This fellowship will help you to understand what addiction is and we will be here whenever you want to talk. 

start by reading main posts, other addict’s posts and go to meetings

best wishes

"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"

RedViper100
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 11 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 11/28/2016 - 5:40pm
Day 2

Thanks for the responses.  I know they will help. Day 2 finds me pretty sad and still full of regret. Wife wants to go to marriage counseling. Kids have no idea, just wondering why the catch daddy crying. I feel like a fraud of a father.  I've taken up running but am working to stay busy the other 23.5 hours per day...  I'll read some posts tonight and get some much needed sleep (got no sleep last night).  4 days with no GOW and it is off my computer.  The credit card is also severed from my Apple account. Thanks again for helping. 

RV

Polga
Polga's picture
Offline
Last seen: 11 hours 5 min ago
AdministratorOLG-Anon memberOLGA member
Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome RedViper

Welcome RedViper

I'm glad you are here!

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

planner
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 6 days ago
OLGA member
Joined: 09/02/2014 - 6:27am
Its great that you are coming

Its great that you are coming back RV! for sure what are you going through is not easy but at least you are not gaming which of course is giving your mind more clarity about what to do in these days. You could say the truth that it was not your intention to waste that money or you know now at least that what happened before was out of your control due to your addiction. It is much easier or maybe the only way to recovery is to work with others as there where magic happens. 

We admit in the first step that we are powerless over gaming and our lives have become unmanageable and thus, we have to ask for help from outside ourselves. Our ego might resist this idea and we may say that we could cure us but in reality this doesn't wok with addicts. So i would suggest to ask for help, forgive yourself, and to keep coming back!

"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"

RedViper100
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 11 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 11/28/2016 - 5:40pm
Day 3

Still here.  Feel a little better today, probably because I am buried at work.  Ran this morning (painful!), so that's good. I will make it through today and we will see about tomorrow. 

RV

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 4 months ago
OLGA memberOLGA moderator
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
Welcome to olga and thanks

Welcome to olga and thanks for sharing, this is a great place for recovery from gaming addiction, to help improve life :)

See u

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

struggling_gamer
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 05/30/2016 - 8:09pm
Checking in

Hey RedViper, I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. Are you still abstaining from playing games? It's difficult in the beginning but the rewards are great in the long run :)

Log in or register to post comments