Addictive personaliy taking over my life

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edoreld
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Joined: 03/28/2018 - 2:33pm
Addictive personaliy taking over my life

Hi everyone,

I'm reaching out to this community because I as of lately I've been feeling like my life is spiraling out of control.

I've been around computers my whole life, mostly playing videogames.  I don't even want to think about the number of opportunities, paths and connections that I've missed because of using.

I've known for a long time that I have a problem, but there's a part of my brain that keeps driving me to engage. Even though I've hurt people badly because of it, this ****ing addictive personality keeps driving me back to wasting my time and my energy.

It's been a few months that I haven't touched a game, but now I watch game streamers instead, which I recognize is pretty much as bad. I arrive home after work, take off my coat, lay on the bed and open up a streaming site and watch until I fall asleep, sometimes forgetting to take a shower, sometimes going to bed later that I'd like.

I'm also obsessively checking a stocks website where I invested some money. Instead of just forgetting about it and letting my money grow, I check like 80 times a day just to see how I am doing. Worst of all, I do it at work. Instead of working on what I'm supposed to work, I check the stocks. Every day I get at most 1-2h of work done. I feel constantly stressed that the boss is gonna enter my office and ask about my progress. And I feel like I am learning nothing and wasting my time. I also feel pretty anxious about getting fired.

I have tried many methods to try to overcome this addiction, but unfortunately nothing is working and I am feeling like it's getting worse nowadays. I am slowly losing hope that I will be able to live a normal life one day.

One method I haven't tried is to be part of a community. I have a wonderful girlfriend  but we only see each other on the weekends as we're in a long distance relationship. The rest of the time I just keep to myself. 

So that's why I am joining this forum. I am hoping to find a sponsor to help me during my weak times and who knows, maybe I am fortunate enough that I can be a source of strength for someone in need.

Thanks for reading and wish you a happy day,

J.

 

 

 

 

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome to the forum J

Welcome to the forum J

Glad you are here.

Sounds like you have an after work " routine" that needs to be broken. Finding healthy alternatives may help. It sounds like you are on your own quite a bit. Perhaps look for group activities where you may be able to meet others. Such as an evening class, volunteer group, sports or hobby club,  aa or na meetings ( any kind of recovery meeting in your area) some of our members attend those.

Don't give up hope. I think that if you check out the online meetings, that will be a good place to start. There is a link in my signature below.

 

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

edoreld
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Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
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Joined: 03/28/2018 - 2:33pm
Thank you. I am not giving up

Thank you. I am not giving up hope. I have noticed that the forum is not super active. I have found another one that is a bit more active. I think I will post there from now on, but I am grateful for all the resources on this site and will be using them.

I think going to meeting is a great idea. I was planning to go to one today but I fell off the wagon. Well, tomorrow is another day, another chance. 

Polga
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Last seen: 12 hours 35 min ago
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
You are always welcome here.

You are always welcome here. All the best.

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

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