Waw its been since july 2013 that i decided that i am an adict and I quit playing. Hard work and a few relapses, but i managed. I am now clean for 1038 days. Yes when i feel the urge to revisit the past i want to play again and usually i have my set of rules to make sure i don't : go for a walk, call a friend, go out, ... In other words occupy myself. Urgh all this usually works but now i feel utterly alone in this again. I never told anyone about this except my therapist. Whome i quit visiting because i had in my opinion everything under control. I don't want this anymore, im so ashamed that i still want to do this. I really could cry. It almost destroyed my life. I feel as i am in crisis right now. Not after all this time. Because i know when i start again i wont be able to quit again. I need help. I am struggeling. Fighting.
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