Does it get better?

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Preslynn
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Does it get better?

I am 26, female and I think I have an addictive personality when it comes to games but ONLY games. I can overindulge in other things once in a while but still lead a balanced life otherwise. I have gone through several cycles of Sims 2 addiction, then facebook games, Tsum Tsum and finally Sims 4. And I have had Sims 4 only since the toddler update which I realize was less than a month ago and I feel like it really hit me hard this time. 

Now I do have plenty of hobbies. I'd write fiction and post it online, read, do math on Khan academy,  watch old movies and Tv shows, research about my favorite singers Elvis Presley and Loretta Lynn (yes, I'm a little... unusual), paint by number, scrapbook, nature walks or just lay in bed and listen to music or daydream. I was never bored without video games so the lack of things to do is not the problem. BUT- I have to add that I always do get depressed and listleless in the winter time. January and February are probably the worst because in December, Christmas will at least keep me busy. But by January it feels as if this cold and the bare surroundings have lasted too long and I get restless and often too depressed to go out at all. I will be cold all day (this is not a medical problem as it goes away every spring). I want my hour long nature walks back but it doesn't have the same effect in the cold.

So in the middle of a bount of winter depression I'm chatting with a friend who was excited about toddlers in Sims 4 and told me that they were having a free two day trial. So I downloaded that horrible trial and ever since I did, I have been thinking of Sims 4 non stop. I have no just been playing it but also searching around the internet to fix my game, which keeps crashing because of low memory even though I have 6 GB ram. I don't even like the game. It utterly bores me and I am obessive compulsive about it.  I would be like that with my writing, my paint by number and scrapbooks too but it feels like less of a problem there to want things "perfect". I cried because I did not have enough room for mountains of custom content and because I forgot to add one toddler as one of my sims children which had little to no effect on the game but bothered me enough to remake that family and replay hours to get them to the same level again. My friend who recommended the game said to "adopt as care dependent" which was not good enough for me either because it wouldn't show her as the mom in the family tree and she'd never like him as much as the other baby and they were meant to be twins... those aren't real people and writing this out I realize how crazy this sounds.

I have uninstalled Sims 4 and I would delete my origin account, but my mom was home sick and saw me play and wanted the game. So now she has the game on HER laptop and is using that origin. She is not an addictive player, so I don't worry about that but I do hate the idea of being around the game at all. I also deleted every sims person I followed on youtube. Today I have done chores, read some and gone through the stories I was writing pre Sims taking over my life- and the entire time I have been thinking of Sims!! It drives me crazy that I cannot seem to properly distract myself. I have looked around Sims forums for help but people there will comment things such as "getting a job helps" or "you're just not busy enough. Maybe you need a life" or "Just use some self decipline". Not helpful whatsoever. I feel like people here get it.

Right now my tendons in my shoulder and back are sore from the constant playing- and I'm a person who could do a few hours of creative writing a day with no ill effects so it has been more excessive than that. And I'd never feel so depressed after writing because it feels like I created something somewhat meaningful. When I look at my Sims all I think is "What a waste of time". 

Please just tell me that it DOES get better if I stick with it and just keep doing my hobbies again instead of Sims? 

 

Allerseelen
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Well, yeah, people here get

Well, yeah, people here get it because no one here has had success self-moderating. For myself, yes, it's gotten much better since I started trying about four and a half years ago. You'll come to be aware of what triggers compulsions and avoid or work through those triggers. They occasionally take me by surprise, but it's gotten less frequent as time wears on. Hobbies help, it's true, but I think my biggest helper is coming here to OLGA. Assisting others and reading their stories reminds me that I'm not so different from them--keeps me from ever thinking that I'm "cured."

Keep coming back,

Allerseelen

Taking Steps toward recovery since November 2, 2012. The difficulty of the path makes it worth the walking.

Preslynn
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I definitely want to become

I definitely want to become active on OLGA and work the steps with others in recovery. I gave up facebook and social media in general due to just getting frustrated with it (and to avoid those darn facebook games!!) so I might as well replace it with something more useful to myself.  No one, real life or otherwise, seems to understand that I don't enjoy it and feel disgusted after a gaming binge and two days without a proper shower and food over the weekend because it feels like it takes me away from the game too long. And no one really knows the extend of it, I don't think. I am in my bedroom a lot but my mother has no idea that all I do is play Sims although she commented that I was moody and that I did not seem to listen to music anymore.  I didn't even want to be away from it for other time wasters like TV and surfing the net- unless I was on a forum for the game or watching other people play the game to pick up tips. My favorite show came back on during my gaming binge and I have watched zero of the five episodes out now and I had to be told Crystal Gayle was inducted into the Country Hall of Fame by one of my favorite singers... and I didn't even look it up. Nor did I even so much as look at that really cool book I ordered and had anticipated for so long. I told my lovely online friend who has been amazing, helping me learn about Elvis and the biggest supporter of my writing and seriously send me so many real gifts, that I was not feeling well and would not email her for some time. Many times the only reason I'd come on the computer/online would be to reply to her and we'd write a long mail like three or four times every week. My mom also kept asking me to do things together and I'd say I did not want to and made excuses as to why such as I don't want to go out to eat because the place could be packed which I hate, it's too cold for a walk, I don't want to drive in the snow etc.That's just not like the normal me. Looking back on all that it makes me so sad. If I'd least enjoyed the stupid game..

I realized it just had to stop when my game froze again and I was more panicked then I was when we had no electricty and water for days a few years back. I can overindulge at times such as staying up to read or write all night, having a day where I just watch movies or episodes off ancient shows on youtube and surf the net, but it's never to that extend (such as I can't bare to interrupt for a shower) and without all those negative emotions attached. I know the game is neither productive nor fun so my rational mind is telling me that I shouldn't play it but yet another part of me just wants to play it all the time. It's like constantly going back to an abusive husband you hate half the time. 

I have done it before but it feels more intense this time around. I have no idea why, but it does. Possibly because after Sims 2, which was still bought with my parent's money, I did not spend my money on any of the other games since what followed were free apps and facebook games. I feel like I should get my "money's worth" so to speak. I am thinking that I will give the Origin account to my mother and tell her it is a gift. She needs to change the email into hers and use a whole new password so I cannot easily download the game again. I would never spend the money a 2nd time, I'm too much of a penny pincher and bought the game only because it was severely reduced on one site. Now I wish I could turn back time and never find that $26 code for this big waste of time and I'd be feeling a whole lot better right now, I'm sure. The stupid thing probably crashes because it's not made to be running for eight, ten, twelve hours. 

I'm sorry this is so long. I'm just venting right now because I feel it has to be said to someone and I don't feel like I can to anyone I know in real life or online. I have been trying to sleep a bit, but find I can't because I keep thinking about Sims and writing this kept me from reinstalling it. It spelled out all the reasons not to but part of me still wants it back. I installed software to block websites and blocked every Sims website and I know I must also stay off youtube as it recommends me Sims now since that is what I'd watch all the time. I have no idea what to say to my friends who got me hooked on it- she would regret it very much if she knew what I am writing here so I cannot bear telling her. Might just have to tell her Sims ended up not being for me after all so she knows not to talk about it to me anymore.

Ritchy
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welcome

Welcome!  Yes, it gets better IF we completely stay off games and make ongoing progress in a positive direction.  Each time that I tried gaming again, it led back to bingeing and self-destructive habits and decisions.  Staying off games allows my life to get better, but I need to try new things, make positive changes, grow and learn or else I'm just gonna slide back into old habits.

You're in the right place!  Come to meetings and listen in.  You'll find friendly people who know where you've been and how to escape the vicious downward spiral of video game addiction.

ladylindael
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Hello preslynn

Hello preslynn

   I find it funny to find your post today. :) Because I am game free 42 days! And just last night I decided I will play games again..  I wasn't sure what game, but my daughter asked: "are you sure you will play because I don't want to tell this to you if your not 100% sure you are playing." I of course said yes, I am going play..   She says Sims 4 has toddlers now. I was shocked, because i had been waiting since they launched for toddlers! But I didn't know, because like you i deleted all my sims stuff. So I had no idea toddlers were out. So I installed origin and Sims 4 but didn't go all the way and play it. I figured I would do that tomorrow, which is today. But when I went to work, i thought about it a lot. Do I really want to give in and play? I thought about how free I feel, and detached from games. Of course I still have my urges and triggers, but I hadn't given in! But I am happier now then I was a month ago! So Why should i give in to play a game, that will eventually lead me back to an MMO, where i would become brain dead for another few years. Guess what I uninstalled Sims 4 and origin. I didn't give in. And i am so glad I didn't. It does get better with time. Don't expect to feel better quickly though. It takes time. I still am not enjoying my hobbies, but I am enjoying my life in full better now. You need to be strong if you wan to feel better. Just stop playing, and deal with it. Try and do your other hobbies, or anything besides gaming. I have skype if you want be in contact with me, to chat when you when you get those awful urges. Just someone to take your mind off it who understand totally. I mean come on toddlers...  ;;  I still want to play. But I am not giving in. If interested in skyping me, just send a pm.

Emily

Preslynn
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Thank you for all your kind

Thank you for all your kind responses. Yesterday I have had a pretty depressing day. I did NOT play Sims 4 which is the most important thing. But I have been feeling very depressed and kind of like... I couldn't do anything with myself without Sims 4. And I KNOW that isn't true but I still felt that way.  During the day it was mostly off and on but when I went to bed- oh boy, all I thought about was Sims. This morning I kind of woke up and started thinking about what seemed like a great story idea... then I really came to and realized that it was a "challange" someone did with Sims 4 and I've been meaning to try. Somehow it feels like I'm missing out by not playing the game which is crazy because I wasn't having fun with it 95% of the time. The first few hours with the toddlers were fun but after that? No. They were not worth it. I admired them and all they could do for a while, and then I stuck in the game, fullfilling all their dumb whims, aspirations and grinding to get them promoted. 

Emily, I am SO glad you felt the urge to play the same game because when I searched for Sims around here, I could not find too much on it, especially not on Sims 4 mainly just a few Sims 3 things.

wazzapp
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For me "not gaming" is not

For me "not gaming" is not the only solution to my addiction. Also i have noticed that "getting hobbies to replace my gaming" never worked for me. For me the solution is going to meetings and working the steps with a sponsor. Gaming is my biggest problem, and for that i go to NA and have an NA sponsor.  When i dont game i become a complete douchebag because of all the bad emotions and depression that comes up, but meerting other addicts in meetings and share really helps to get all of that out of my system. Now i feel generally a lot more peaceful than a year ago, so the program and meetings really works for me. However hobbies never worked for me

 

Also i try to focus on unity rather than differences between addicts, which is why i think the specific game i played is not my main identifier, but instead im just an "addict". A definition that is more general. I dont even need gaming addicts to identify with their stories, i can feel the exact same patterns in any addict of any substance, game, relationship, gambling, food. Doesnt matter to me

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

Preslynn
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Things have been going okay

Things have been going okay for a bit. Hobbies actually did help quite a bit. I caught up on TV, read, started writing again. The weather improved and I was back outside.  Kept my computer disconnected from the internet a bit so I could not acess Sims anything. I started feeling better. Then someone,  not knowing WHAT they were doing, has aquired two expansions for the Sims 4 for me and I have started playing again. I have just made myself quit playing but now feel like I have to play because money has been spend by someone who doesn't have much of it and a digital code cannot be resold. I'm such a penny pincher that seeing money lost really gets to me.  It is this horrible feeling where I really don't WANT to play yet I feel that inexpeciable urge to. I wish I could go back to before I touched that game.  It never is fun. It annoys me to no end.

Yesterday I said I was going to quit again, screw the money spend- then a bunch of brats started playing soccer under my window in the study where I do my reading, writing and crafts. I wasn't in the mood to blast music to drown them out and had been outside already so I went to play the game. Plus I felt like I should anyway because it was a gift. I once again got stuck beyond the time they were there. 

What's even worse is my mother doesn't get me. She thinks that "Oh, just quit playing it then. You can always play it again some other time". The point is that NO, I can't and I cannot limit myself so I'll always get stuck with it and it will always feel like work rather than fun. She doesn't seem to understand that video games and myself don't work. She sees how the game is making me cranky but I don't think she realizes what a serious situation it is.  Now I haven't been really frank with her but I fear that if I am, she will stop playing it too and then I ruined something for her and the money spend is 100% wasted because nobody is playing. I also don't feel like she should miss out because I can't game. 

I just want to go back in time and never talk to my friend that day so I wouldn't have gotten that rotten game at all. 

I really can't attend meetings. They don't have them for gaming addiction in poduck hell where I live, I have already checked. 

Rhumor
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I really need some help.....

I have been addicted to Second Life for almost 9 years.  Yesterday, I ust turned it off and left behind a man I was very close to.  How do you get passed the pain?  How do you get past the hurt.  He was not just someone I spoke to in SL but in my real life too.  Anyone have any help to offer?  Staying away from Secondlife is harder than I thought it would be!

Thanks

Very Sad in Florida

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Welcome Rhumor

Welcome Rhumor

Many of our members have quit second life. Use the search box at the bottom of this page and you may be able to find the threads and relate to them.

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Preslynn
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That is really sad Rhumor. I

That is really sad Rhumor. I am lucky to not have lost anyone who was in my life over Sims but I think I probably have to be very frank with some of them about this so they will support me by not buying me Sims things or talking about Sims to me. I understand why you are very sad. It is really hard, isn't it? 

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