getting my life back

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NikkiEva
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Last seen: 4 years 10 months ago
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Joined: 01/28/2015 - 2:11pm
getting my life back

Hello,

Two days ago, I made a decision to free myself from the mental prison of second life and IMVU. I was looking at my computer screen with my avatar and thought to myself what the hell are you doing. I immediately began deleting my avatar on IMVU and moved into second life to start deletion there too. I started IMVU about 5 years and 2 of secondlife. Many times I wanted to stop but i thought i would miss something or friends always asked me to stay and I thought i was doing a good deed to them which actually causing more problems in my real life.

Sadly, when I began IMVU I thought the game was sooo cool I told my husband to join. First he said no. Deeply, I wish he would have kept that answer but later he joined too. He met this woman they did the whole virtual marriage, kids, IMVU life. They began spending a lot of time on the game together, then slowly doing voice with out my awareness (while I was sleep) and also using yahoo to keep in touch while offline. I questioned my husband about this and reassured me everything was good and it was just a game. One day passing his computer i read his screen and they are planning a getaway together. He was planning to leave me and our 2 children behind while he go and live out this fanasty life with this woman.

At this point i am ****ed because he lied to me and he is madly in love with this woman and risk losing everything for her. I had a talk with the woman and asked her to leave him alone that she should understand we have a family, she agreed but did not keep her word. She wanted him badly, she blamed me for allowing my husband to play such a game with another woman and said it was my lost. She was planning to come the state that we lived and take my husband back with her. Later, she changed her mind, she told him that she could not live with herself knowning she ruined a family. My husband was deeply hurt, he cried like a baby and blamed me. The truth was she had lied to him about everything who she was, where she worked, what she looked like, everything he believed to be honesty and true was all a big fat lie. I told him we should stop playing IMVU and focus on real life. He told me no after that breakdown he see it clearly and he would never put our family at risk again. he told me to let him have his game it was his escape from everyday life. He continued playing IMVU but turned into a man whore. After this, he never seemed the same to me.

As for me I never looked at IMVU as a relationship match up because I knew I was married but I did enjoy meeting people from around the world, shopping and chatting. One day I met this guy, he changed everything. I was addicted to him on IMVU. I stayed up extra late to chat with him. I would rush home to chat with him. We later married and had kid on the game. we also talked outside the game on the phone and texting. As happy as i was in the game, i could see the effects of my real life from this. cleaning less, doing laundry less, talking to family/friends less or just ignore their calls, taking the kids out less everything was ceneterd around IMVU. Later, we broke up and i was shattered, depressed and not sleeping. I felt lost and confused. I deleted my avatar and left the game. I had heard of second life went to try it out. Heart broken i wanted some different i met a guy there he held my interest for a while but nothing serious.

IMVU friends i made begged me to return and i did. my ex in IMVU would toy with me, playing mind games this really effected me too because he knew how i felt about him. another thing about virtually game people play a lot of mind game at the expense of others. so now i was trapped in two worlds still lost mentally and i could not get my head right long enough to just quit. many many times i would talk to myself to get out and then a hour later im back in. back in to 5 years later of nothing plenty of money down the drain, kids spent the last 5 years with half parenting because their parents glued to the screen, lack of social existence my goodness the irony of it all. Now I feel my brain is programmed so differently now, it sicken. if i had stuck to my plans five years ago i would have my doctoral degree by now, i am so ashamed and tired. I try to remember me before this addiction and i liked her, i want her back but i do not know just how to get there but i am trying each day baby steps.

as for my husband i told him to join me here in olga he laughed and thought the idea was funny. he said he doesnt have an addiction and that he is fine but thats further from the truth. he is still on IMVU spending time with mutliple ladies and he also plays a combat game called angels something. i told him he is in denial. i hope my change will encourage him to do the same and not draw me back into the virtual game because he is still playing. I pray for strength because i refuse to do another 5 years of this.

nikki

YouAreNOTalone
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Last seen: 4 years 3 months ago
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Joined: 12/14/2013 - 11:24am
It must be very difficult to

It must be very difficult to live a virtual life in your head but I'm sure that you discovered how much the real life has to offer. I'm sorry for your husband and I hope he'll realise what he does. Coming here and socializing on this site helped me very much and I think that it will help you too. I wish you a great recovery !

"The future is determined by our choices in the present." - Anonymous Author

avlad1992
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Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
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Joined: 04/04/2014 - 2:36pm
Welcome Nikki! Your story

Welcome Nikki!

Your story is really sad. Im really sorry for your husband addiction. My opinion is that your husband has a very very serious gaming addiction.

My advice for you is to stay away from this kind of games as much as you can. it's incredible how hard these games affect some people psychically. I suggest you to attend olganon meetings. We talk about gaming addiction and personal development. It's awesome and it helps you to become a better and stronger person.

Seen_The_Light
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Last seen: 4 years 2 months ago
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Joined: 01/15/2015 - 11:28am
Welcome Nikki.  I know the

Welcome Nikki.

I know the draw and power that IMVU can hold. As I have problems with it myself.

Take a bit of time if you like and read some of my postings,

I am now in the process of deciding what to do with my last avi.

It's more complicated as I have my best friend there in game with me and if I leave permanently I worry we will not have anything much to talk about any more, as a large percent of our chats were in game or about the game.

I am cutting back on my IMVU use dramatically though, and my Husband is very happy to..... In his own words. "Have me back".

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