I enjoy games

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beehive99
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I enjoy games

Well I enjoy gaming alot. Recently I started playing clash of clans but my girlfriend demand I stop. It was becoming a problem and so I deleted from my phone and lap top. I miss playing it though and wish I could manage to play it once a week. I know my girlfriend would be upset if I told her I started again. On the other side of this its been great to log off and feel free and happy in my relationship and with doing simple things. I wish there was a limit to the games power to take pieces of our life away. Does anyone think it's a bad idea to have one day a month to log on to this game? Cheers

LukeA

McPhee
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Depends

beehive99, most people have no problem playing a little game every now and then. There there are people like me, who let it take over their lives, so that it harms relationships, finances, career, health, hygiene and just about everything else of value. It sounds like you're having some problems with gaming's impact on a relationship. It may or may not be serious, based on what you have said.

For most people who get to the point that gaming is seriously harming their lives and yet they still can't or won't stop or reduce their playing to the point it's not a problem, it is too late to try to moderate. Once you've developed this overpowering habit, generally it's not possible to play just a little every now and then. As soon as you start playing again even a little bit, you'll go right back very quickly to the obsessive, excessive, compulsive playing that was causing you problems before.

For most of us who are like that, complete abstinence works best. And it works very well. It turns out that life without gaming is really great. Gaming is a poor substitute for engaging in real life, I have found.

Your mileage may vary. If you can play a little once a month, it's hard to see a problem with that. If you can't, I would consider complete abstinence, as it works very well and is not really a hardship after what is often a rough introductory phase.

Good luck with it.

OutOfAzeroth
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Hi Beehive99,

Hi Beehive99,

Welcome to Olga, and thanks for your question. It is a question that every addict has asked himself at some point and tried to rationalize.

I would like to reply your question by ... well asking you some questions in return :-)

First of all, what does "one day per month" exactly mean for you ? Do you mean that, once per month, you will spend two hours in front of a computer playing a game, at a moment when it does not really interfere with anything else (option 1) ? Or do you mean that, one day per month, presumably a Saturday, a Sunday or holiday, you will spend all your free time playing games, except of course when you are eating or taking care of chores, and of course when you are taking some breaks to speak with your family (option 2) ? Or do you mean that, once per month, you will spend an entire 24 hour period stuck in front of your computer screen, entirely focussed on the game without one minute of mental break, not bothering to shower or eat anything other than chocolate bars, without sleeping at all during the night, unavailable for your family and deaf to any conversation that will occur around you, reacting with the utmost anger if anyone dare disturb you on your "one and only day gaming" (option 3) ?

Depending on which definition of "gaming one day per month" you chose, the answer as to it being reasonable or not may vary a lot...

Second question : When the time you agreed to spend gaming ends, do you think you will feel : (a) happy that you gamed, but now totally ready to go back to other activities or (b) absolutely angry that you have to stop at the worse of moment in the game, because [event X] would have gotten you [benefit Z] if you had just stayed on for two more hours, suffering from a headache, unable to think about anything else, resentful to your family for forcing you to respect the time limit, and absolutely unable to feel any enjoyment in anything else there is ?

Third question : Have you ever in the past been able to limit the time you spent in front of your screen to exactly what you had decided ? What makes you think that you would succeed this time ? Indeed, how could not be even more difficult to deny yourself another hour of gaming when you "only have one day in the month to game" ?

Fourth question : Even though I do not know your game of choice, I am sure that there is some mechanism of "preparation" in it whereby you "need" to accomplish some task every day to make you more "powerful" for the day in the month when you do game. I am also sure that some internet sites give lots of tips for your game of choice. So, if you decided that you are going to game once per month, wouldn't you also come to the logical consequence that you "have to" prepare for the gaming day... by doing a lot of game-related activities activities in the supposedly non-gaming days ?

Fifth question : How many hours would you spend thinking about the game, before or after the gaming session ? Or do you think you would really be able to zap from not thinking about the game to playing it to not giving it a thought afterwards ?

I can only strongly encourage you to think about the answers to all these questions, plus many more that you will come up with, before deciding whether it is a good idea or not to try moderation.

All the best of luck and courage to you, and the lovely family I see around you on the picture !

McPhee
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Well put

OutofAzeroth, those are some telling questions. Thanks.

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