First time I've been on this site so I'm not going to directly say who I am as I'm very parnoid about talking to strangers (espically on the internet.) However, I feel my gaming habits might be excessive. When I have free time, the first thing that comes to my mind is to be on the internet. This can be for as long as 12 hours without a break if my parents aren't around and don't intervene. When they scream at me for being on the internet all the time, I find myself lying and claiming I've been on for only an hour.( I've really been online for four to five hours by then.) . I try to defend it because I'll also read and listen to music online, but I know deep down thats not a valid excuse. I'll often lie about getting my hw done, so they'll leave me alone, which I actually do at the last minute. if i do it at all. I don't really to good about lying like that. I just want my parents to leave me alone. Anyway, even with that stress thats not why I'm here. I met someone, and this person has changed my whole view on life. This person actually gives a ****, for me, and stuck with me through hell despite my mental problems. ( I have depression, anxiety, mood disorder etc and usually it drives people away very fast.) . While my additicion to being online hasn't affected our relationship( I have managed my addiction and can leave the computer to hang out with people when asked.) nor have I used to internet to go have an emotional affair( I know what its like to be heartbroken, I couldn't live with myself if i hurt him.). I don't want to keep going down this road and risk losing the most stable relationship I've had just so I can return to living in solitude on the internet. I mean, I don't want to quit the internet all together, ( I can't live without music, maybe games, but not music.), however, maybe pull back and spend time with real people.( at least when I'm happy and not depressed.)
I feel better being online then I do living real life, because I don't have to feign a smile to feel normal.
Except with that guy I mentioned.
I'd quit the internet for him.
Seriously, unlike my family judging every move I make, and constantly questioning my competancy because of my A.S.( Aspergers syndrome.) He makes me feel really safe, making me face my issues with school but not screaming at me and insulting every flaw in my brain and body like my family who has to remind me of every single flaw I have every **** day. (****, I'm crying...)
I can't take it I'm done for the night.
To emotional, and I want to go to sleep.
Even though I don't know anyone here goodnight to all of you.
I'll check and see if anyone answered this in the morning.