I realised that LoL is stunting my capabilities of achieving any real-life goals

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I realised that LoL is stunting my capabilities of achieving any real-life goals

I am a 17 year old graduating high school this year and many of my college decisions came out and reality hit me like a car ramming into a concrete wall at 100 mph. Just to give you some perspective, I never tried hard in school and never had any problems passing my classes and doing well on standerdised tests (ACT 35, 3 SATII 800, TOEFL 118) so thus I developed a very bad LoL habit. Every day after school I would always spend at least 3 to 4 hours grinding ranked and some days I would just give up doing homework just to grind more ELO.

League of Legends was originally a game that I started playing as an escape from my family crisis but eventually it became a crippling habit. Although I initially played it for the fun, soon it became about winning. LoL by itself was not fun but winning in it was. Reaching distinguished ranks drove me to abhore losses and a cruel cycle began as each win made me want to win more and each loss made me want to make-up with a win. 

Although I go to a highly distinguished private school I soon realised that I was going to graduate high school at the bottom 50 percentile but I still had my hopes because I thought that my standerdized test scores could make up for my 3.7 GPA. However, when most of my college results came out last week I was denied to all of my choice schools from U of Chicago to UCLA and at this rate I am probably going to end up going to UIUC. 

It is my motto in life to never regret but for the first time ever I truly regret not trying harder in school and taking my classes seriously enough. So many people guided me throughout my life to become who I am and they trusted me to do something great with my life but I clearly failed them because of the poor choices that I made in highschool. This is not to say that UIUC is a bad school but it will certainly be an uphill battle for me as I make my way to graduate school.

After this realisation 2 days ago I gave my LoL account (which had all the rare skins and all the champions) away to a stranger in order to stop myself before my impulses kicked in. Now that LoL is gone from my life, my days just seem longer and very empty. Its as if I forgot about my life before LoL.

I want to make it clear that I am not quitting gaming as a whole (I still play phone games here and there) since games in general did not cause me problems but the competitive environment of LoL made me lose grip with reality.

It just hurts to see other kids going to Yale, Harvard, and Princeton in my school actually being a step closer to success in life than me. I just really hope that I am able to turn my life around before college starts. 

I apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes. 

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome to OLGA !

Welcome to OLGA !

Great for taking the first steps to make a new life. You are probably experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Things will get better with time. Keep coming back here if you need help.

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