I Realize Now that I Have To Completely Quit Games Forever - My Story

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SmartenUp4Life
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Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
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Joined: 02/14/2016 - 4:11pm
I Realize Now that I Have To Completely Quit Games Forever - My Story

I've been playing video games since I was 11. I never considered myself as a video game addict and would never have decided to seek for support until now. After reading several member's stories and forum posts, I realize now that the gaming addiction has been rooted too deeply for me to able to moderate myself. As more than one member has mentioned, the problem is not how long I can keep from playing video games, it's the obsessive behavior that results when I do play. Video games have already cost me more than one relationship and thousands of dollars.

I am at crucial tipping point. After going into debt to finance post-secondary education, I am ready to start a new career and a new relationship that I want a future with. I don't want to screw this up because of an addiction that I did not know how to control.

Video games have been a major definition of my life. When asked what my hobby is, I lie and tell most people it is travelling when in reality it is actually gaming. Starting with Starcraft, I've been moving from one game to another with major time sinks being League of Legends and Hearthstone. I've managed to stay away from MMORPGS but I've also played played a lot of Freemium games whose names aren't even worth mentioning.

Whenever I would get involved into a game, in addition to playing obsessively (14-20 hours consequtively on days when I have time), I would also spend countless hours researching online on guides and forums when I am not playing. This has gotten in the way of my grades at school, my performance at work, my relationships with my signficant others and all the close family and friends around me. Simply put, I neglected my responsibilities and the needs of others in my life. I would often ignore or forget to respond to messages and even when I was on the phone, I would be distracted and not all there because I was gaming. I have missed important appointments because I was too tired from staying up all night gaming and had two significant others dump me because I was too immersed in video games and neglected my own life.

I have deleted all the games of my phone and computer before, given away my Wii, XBox 360 and PS3, and even my heavily invested accounts, just to come back again starting on a new account or playing a new game. I doesn't matter how it starts. Sometimes it's because I'm bored and am looking to kill a few hours, or sometimes it's because a friend introduced it to me when I am over at their house. Once I get hooked, I go on huge gaming binges especially when I have nobody to account to but just myself.

As embarrassing and shameful it is for me to admit, it's clear that I cannot control my addiction when it comes to video games. So I must cut it completely from my life. The last game that I played compulsively was Don't Starve Together when my friend gave me a free Steam copy a week ago. Even though he stopped playing, I kept playing non-stop by myself with other public players, losing sleep over the game and neglecting communications with everyone around me. The last straw was last night when I passed out due to exhaustion from lack of sleep, standing up my significant other on a date we had planned for Valentine's Day and missing all the messages and 3 phone calls.

Needless to say, I've deleted all the games from my phone and computer. It's time to stop for good.

My name is SmartenUp4Life and I am a video game addict.

SmartenUp4Life

BrandNewDay
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Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
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Joined: 12/11/2015 - 7:41pm
We Support You!

Hi SmartenUp4Life,

I'm glad you've found us! By reading posts and posting yourself and joining meetings, you will find many other people who have lived just like you, and you will gain strong motivation to start to not game at all. Because you have realized that you are a videogame addict, one thing for certain is that you will need to completely, fully, utterly quit videogames on any platform or device. 

I personally have successfully quit games for a week now, the first time in the last year that I have done so, because of the support from OLGA. There are people here who have played for years and decades, and have quit for months and years, and still counting. I find it especially helpful to post on the Daily Count Up topic (http://www.olganon.org/forum/ongoing-recovery-and-progress-gamers/daily-count-and-accountability?page=11#comment-263489) daily to remind myself to quit games on that day. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. 

You can do this!

Best wishes,

BrandNewDay

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

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