I would like help to stop gaming

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ShortyMutty
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I would like help to stop gaming

I constantly use gaming to escape the stress of real life. When I face even the slightest difficulty in life, I shut myself out from the world and just play a lot of games (sometimes 24 hours straight). I had many days where I woke up, play game until I am too hungry to continue, then I eat whatever stuff I can find (usually unhealthy) and then go back to gaming until I am too exhausted to stay awake, then I would go to sleep and wake up to repeat the whole process again. While gaming, I don't have any desire to have any social contact with friends in real life, and have zero interest in anything else, even if it's something that I usually really enjoy, like traveling or reading.

I am currently doing my PhD, obviously it's not going great because of gaming. I am pretty smart, and I always come up with something last minute so that I can pass without getting kicked out or anything. But I know I have been wasting my potential away by spending 80% of my waking time playing games, and that I am denying myself of a more successful and fulfilling life, both professionally and in my personal realtionships. It's been like this since I was in elementary school, video gaming has been my biggest source of fun, and it's so hard to turn away from it because it will be like taking the most enjoyable part out of my life. 

I tried to limit my time playing, but it never works, 30 minutes turn to 1 hour which turns into 2 hours, 10 hours, a day, a week and a month. Many many months of my life just split away from me. I obsolutely want to stop this obssesive habit, and I am asking for help from this forum, anything would be greatly appreciated!

Silvertabby
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Hi Mutty and welcome to Olga.

Hi Mutty and welcome to Olga.  I can relate to your situation.  I was gaming 12 hours a day 7 days a week and couldn't stop.  Then one day I somehow was able to stop cold turkey and I found this website the next day.  That was almost 6 years ago and, although I've had some short relapses along the way, I've stayed stopped for the most part.  What helped me was connecting with other gaming addicts and being a part of this community.  Many people find doing the 12 steps helpful.  Now I find attending meetings helpful and having the accountability of the community.  If you're interested in trying a meeting, click here for the schedule.  It's extremely hard to quit and even harder to stay quit but many are doing it and I know you can too.  

 

 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

Nathan_Sylvester
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Steps to Overcoming the Addiction

     It is not an easy road to get to the top ShortyMutty. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier from the point you are already at, but I would be lying to you if I were to tell you so. I can fully relate to your situation from my own that I had. When I got serious into playing one PC game, in particular, every waking moment in my life I would think about the game. There never was a day that went by without me at least thinking, planning out my riches in this game instead of focusing on building on my friendships and relationships.

     I pushed people away when others wanted to help me. I rejected my denial and addiction at first until I did a research paper on work-family balance and it opened up my eyes toward the larger concern. Taken from my new book, The Dragon's Niche: Prudence to Wisdom addiction is caused by a relationship of causality. That is, that addiction first occurs in a cycle, a set of behaviors and actions that we become aware of that we commit to out of habituation. First, it does not initiate the desire to play games without seeking better life opportunities.

     It is only later in the cycle in which we have gone through it so long that it becomes in the unfortunate aftermath of habituation. In order to break this cycle, you first need to go cold turkey for around three weeks to see what it feels like without the games.  If you are still surviving and making it ok afterward, you have now tested the waters of what is the first step towards overcoming it. Of course, this doesn't do much good to help when the cycle continues in habituation when we have given up hope in pursuing all real-life initiatives in favor of virtual stimulation. Virtual simulation is the addiction of the desire of our brain wiring wanting to think of pictures, visual representations of products of materialism that can only provide us with an emotional experience and temporarily put off the inevitable, of using this as escapism to shield away our problems.

     The Forms of Contingences Cycle

1. It starts when we have a circumstance, situation or unfortunate series of events that make us scared and afraid of the ambiguous, the road in life that lies before us.

2. It continues through a cycle of habituation through causality. In order to first get over this, you have to meditate and reflect daily to determine what triggers turn your brain on to want to game all the time while not incorporating a balance within your social life, professional life, and spiritual life.

3. How does gaming as much as you do make you feel? Do you feel happy when whatever you are currently struggling with gets put off? However, do you then feel anxious when the problems resurface experiencing a combination of self-guilt, self-condemnation, self-pity, tolerance, fear, anguish and some depression?

4. If so, then you have to determine what you want out of your future immediately. Determining your future by making a list of tasks based on both your strengths and weaknesses will be used to help you overcome, the inevitable, fighting the constant daily habit and temptation of always wanting to go back. In other words, you have to eventually hate what you used to love and love what you used not to care for, hate.

5. Don't be foolish and daft as I was. Make sure that if you have friends who are worried and concerned about you, help you out. Their support is crucial. These people are called outsiders; outsiders are the ones that can assist you because instead of you, an insider they take themselves out of your individual journey in order to get a third-person bird's eye view of your situation. They can analyze better what you are going through once they ask you questions and observe what the initial temptation seems to be. Allow at least one person to invite you to hang out with them to bring you out of your isolation for a short while.

     Eventually, this is supposed to kick the habit by our natural desire for connection with others replacing the anxiety, fear and ambiguity we feel when we are by ourselves.

6. Finally, daily, plan out how you plan to fight this. Whether it is through reading books that teach about the greater fruits in life in the real-world, exercise to increase your physical health or friends to increase your sense of belonging and self-worth, you need to be open-minded and not push others away from you. * This is the most important step to overcoming your isolation*. You will eventually need a right balance and combination of all these things, your psychological well-being, emotional part of yourself, cognitive; intellectual, physical health; well-being and mental cognition, homeostasis.

7. The last step in overcoming what I have coined as the forms of contingencies is to seek out help. Whether that is a support group where you can discuss your daily problems, progress you are making and setbacks you have along the way, or rather, a spiritual calling to fulfill towards greater mental and emotional health, you are going to need to decide for yourself where your help is going to come from to achieve your victory. Yes, relapse can last up to two-in-half to three years for the greater cases of people that are addicted to games. I don't expect you to be able to immediately fight it. However, the most important thing to remember is, all that counts is progressing more little by little each day until you one day wake up and no longer have the desire to go back once all these other things I have mentioned have fully been set into motion.

I hope this helps, contact me if you need someone like me to hold you accountable toward your progression. I will gladly assist and help you as best as I can.

A friend of those who suffer from addictions

Sincerely,

 

Nathan Sylvester

wazzapp
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Thanks for your post

Thanks for your post ShortyMutty. I can relate 100% to your story. Actually it felt like I was reading a story about myself. I was also using games a lot to escape life, trying to moderate gaming-time, but almost never succeded in doing so. 

Keep coming back to this forum, it has been very helpful for many who want to live a game-free life. Also, face-to-face meeting has been very valuable to me :)

Wish u the best

ps. here are some videos on gaming-addiction that i find helpful;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDiEEdwR9rw

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLjD3R2yJ5wriHFY7XdjDBg

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

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