Hi everyone I'm brand new here. My names Sky and i have wasted 2500 hours on League of Legends.. I apologies in advance for what I expect will be quite a wall of text.. I found out that i had played all these hours recently on a website that can track how long youve played. this I believe is like 120 days straight. Ive been playing for roughly 3 years. Heres the problem. I have absolutely nothing to show for it because I only play normal games which mean nothing. I never got into ranked games because i dont find that level of compitition fun. I dont like how challenging ranked games are and i would much rather play normals. See I'm a fairly good player. I'd say above average so often times i do quite well in normal games. How ever I'm often put right in my place when i get stomped by either a better player or better team all around. I'm reminded in these moments that I'm not nearly as good as I thought I was. And of course I should know this full and well since when ever I chose to play a ranked game which is rare I am the feeder on the team. Either i feed and die alot or i hug the tower and get no kills deaths or assists. I'm basically either worthless or I die alot. The reason for this is ranked is way too hard for me. People play their best and are so **** hard to kill. They buy early defence which im not used to playing against normals. Now I know that i could maybe find skilled friends and play talking to them on skype and slowly improve in ranked. But i have no interest in this either cause for one I know im just not good enough for ranked so i would hold my team back or get thrown out. the other huge issue i have is I worry about what people think. Mainly my wife and i dont wanna sound like such a total dork playing lol with a headset on talking to my dorky lol friends. Thats why i only type so its more secretive and less dorky at least in my mind.
Anyway 3 years ago when i started playing my goal was to master one champion and get so good that i win every game. By the way I mostly play 3v3 because I like that they are shorter games and i feel that i can more easily carry 2 noobs rather than 4 noobs in case i have noobs for team mates which is very often since the League of Legends comunity is an extremely toxic one. That brings me to my next point. This game has made me soo angry. I am not at all an angry person. I'm kind to everyone i meet but in this game when i have constant trolls and toxic people telling me to step into traffic and kill myself all the while feeding my opponent so many kills that its impossible for me to carry, i get angrier than Ive ever been before. Often times this game isnt fun at all. Its just misserable and beyond frustrating. I think about those 2500 hours that i can never get back. Oh what i could have done with those hours! I could have learned something. Learned a new instrument, worked out and got buff, wrote a story or a book, read many books, improved my vocab, studdied something of interest, started a business, anything! anything at all would have been a better use of that time than playing this pointless dumb ass game. By the way i have spent probably about 150 dollars on worthless skins for the game as well...
Now even when i win I'm not all that happy about it. I mean i feel slightly accomplished but once a game finishes it basically just goes straight to the start screen. You dont really get any recognition or any kind of achievement for winning or doing good. some one might on occasion say gg and then leave but i mean thats a really small pay off for the blood sweat and tears i spent trying my ****dest to win the game. Its always a normals match so it didnt matter. What makes me verryyyy sad is the fact that i have spent as many hours as many pro lol players who are making serious money playing this game. The hours they spent slowly climbing the ranked ladder until they are on tv at the worlds tournament, I played just as many games but i chose for all those games to be entirely worthless random normals matches. So in 3 years of playing many kids have become pro and I played the same amount of games and i have gone no where. Ive accomplished jack sht... I had that realization very recently when i researched how many hours certain pros have put in and its virtually the same amount as I have..
Something I realized in this game is that every single champion has counter champions. champs that just destroy you. Well i hateeee to lose games. Which is so ironic and stupid because i only play normals which is a game mode people dont care about and troll more often. if I want to play serious which i do, you would think ranked is the game for me, yet i have no interest in ranked because its too difficult. Anyway i planned to master a champion that i can win every 3v3 game with. I researched the strongest champs for 3v3. champs like Garen, Singed, Tryndamere, etc. I played and practiced these champs. Of all of them I'm probably best with Singed. Well eventually even if I'm winning for a while, eventually i get completely destroyed and we lose badly and of course i get angry because i hate losing. By the way this game ruins whole days and weeks for me. The reason for this is i have very poor self control. If I'm winning i CAN NOT STOP. I do not stop playing lol until I lose and get angry. If I'm on a winstreak i will always play until I lose. well sometimes thats all **** day! and some times i still play even after i lose. My sleep schedule currently is i go to sleep at about 6 am and wake up at about 3 pm.. its terrible and throwing away my time.. I live in beautiful California and i have an awesome pool and its always sunny yet i spend most sunny days inside yelling at a computer screen... I have a serious problem I know... I have uninstalled the game many times.. I always end up re installing it because i have some new idea how to win every game or i wanna play a new champion that i just know will dominate every normals match... I'm so delusional I know. my sleep is completely suffering because of this stupid frustrating game..
Why do i keep coming back to it?? If i know that its making me angry and its eating my days away with nothing to show why have i spent 2500 hours on it and still want to play even more when i know im gaining nothing? I uninstalled it yesterday and have been without the game for 1 whole day so far which is longer than ive gone in a long time.. I know. pathetic.. Well i think the reason i keep re installing it is just because i have nothing else to do. You see i have too much time on my hands. See im 29 and married to a travel nurse. she makes us $70 an hour and so im a stay at home husband. we move around every 3 months. she loves that im always here on her days off so we can go do stuff and doesnt want me to get a job which wouldnt pay anything and coul very possibly cause us to see each other less. I agree and theres no point in me getting a job right now cause we make more than enough. How ever since we have no kids yet (waiting a few years) i watch alot of movies and shows but eventually that gets old and so than i turn to my old friend League of Legends which is an amazing time waster.
I just dont know what to do.. I cant get away from this **** game and i know its hurting me yet i still play it so **** much. I havent re installed it yet so far tonight though im so tempted.. but so far I'm staying strong. Ive thought about joining a gym and exercising beyond swimming which i do very occasionally, how ever i have no drive to work out. You see years back i totally wanted to work out to look buff and attract the ladies. Well I'm married to an amazing beautiful woman who loves my skinny self exactly as i am so I have no one to impress. I find no need or drive to work out and look buff any more. Do u guys have any advice? Im sorry for rambling so much.. my thoughts are all over the board and this post was not very structured at all but if any of you have read this far I really appreciate it and would ask if you have any advice for me to help me get over this game.
I definitely feel like theres hope for me. The reason i say that is I had a previous addiction. I was very addicted to porn. After a life time of effort and research i defeated that addiction. Its no longer an issue. Now this is my next addiction. Once i get over this one I think i will be free at last! I just have to watch what i do going forward because i clearly have a very addictive personality.