edit: after writing this all out.. sorry for the long post i tried to keep it short.. ish
hello o/ first post on this forum, guess i should give a small history of my gaming then dig into the here and now.
I think the earliest game i played was chess.. joking aside my earliest pc game was one of the early tycoon games where-in you built cities, then when i was around 10ish i got into warcraft not world of warcraft just warcraft.. well warcraft 3 to be precise then around 12-14 thanks to my fathers generiosity i started playing world of warcraft jump to whenever the second expansion(the blue space creatures) hit and I somehow had gotten my fathers card charged 200$, when i heard that my eyes bugged-out and i remember flat-out telling him to cancel the sub(he was ok with continueing it) after that i didnt really look back at WoW eventually got a xbox and starting playing cod/halo alongside my brother.
Fast forward to the end of highschool was highly depressed(long long story) and after the grad ceremony i sat down made a t-chart and on one-side i put all my academic interests then on the other i put all my hobbies then tried connecting the 'lines' and seeing what would work and what wouldnt. In my third year in highschool i had joined a programming class, admittely most of the guys where in there just to goof-off and play games but coding(java) interested me so i kept up with the teacher. After that I went to a community college in the town over from mine(the local college was and still is a massive-joke) and thats where my depression kicked into high-gear.
When i was in college i pretty much went to my class's did my assignments then went back to my room and gamed the rest of the day(tf2,warframe,ps2,neverwinter).
Jump forward to the end of college, I barely scrapped a passing grade in two of my class's(one was math forgot the other) and a few months later i went to a mental hospital(no shame in admitting it, if something breaks you need to fix it) and got my head back on start still have a few left-overs from back then namely that i dont passively smile and i dont talk often/when i talk my voice is very soft/low volume.
Jump about two-three months after that and i started working at walmart;decent pay,didnt get distracted,kept my phone off,only looked in the game section when i bought my brothers gifts for b-days. around this time i had started to get into clash of clans and one other mobile rts(real time strategy game). I worked 8-hour shifts back then(random but not really) so i got into a group in CoC and i a new patch/expansion hit(think it was clan vs clan?) and i noticed that my account was lagging behind heavily so i decided to spend 100$(the only time i spent money on it) to buoy my account somewhat back into line with everyone elses.
// I used to keep only the minium amount of money i thought i would need in my checking account, the rest went into savings that and (stupidly) i didnt have access to my online bank account so couldnt shift funds easily (w/ atm)
Jump a week or so forward and my iphone broke(woo first time i had broken one)so i had to go get a new one,went to the store picked out a new one, then i remembered 'wait, i dont have enough money for this' so i told my mother and of course she flipped saying how i spend all of my money on games and demanding access to my bank account(something happened towards the end of college that makes it very hard for me to trust her w/ money but I'll save that for latter.. this post is long enough) to which i responded with a responding 'no' which didn't help one bit. I end'd up just buying a cheap 20$ non-smart phone ( the other option was to pay 200/500 for a smart phone then have it locked.. i have words for that idiotic suggestions but ill keep it pg)
//just small bullet points to keep post from getting to long
//ended up getting fired from walmart
//had 2k saved up
//spent 2k on rent for new(ish) apartment, had to move
//not all at once mind, over a few months
//currently halve-rent w/mother
//when i went to college my mother and step-father had bought me a decent pc for programming,mostly processing speed
a few months after we moved to the new apartment my mother told me ' your disconnecting that pc( i refuse to call it mine, because it never was mine) today. So i un-hooked the pc and put it on the table and because she had continually pestered me about my book collection, I had bought a few books that were lore-based from different games mostly halo and warcraft, I took all of them off my shelf and also put them on the table ( i was at the time fed-up to the point to where i was about to just throw the books in the trash just to stop the nagging). Havnt seen the books or pc since, dont know if she sold them or is just hiding them and i really really dont give a **** anymore about 'em.
a few months after that I've started working in fast-food(two paychecks in now) and mostly just read books or watch anime online in my downtime.
there is one rule and its why i say that my career is 'on ice' and that is that if they ( now its just my mother) hear or see me playing a game then im out.. the only problem i have with that is, is that if i'm making a framework for a game in c++ visual studios and i compile it to test it then it is no longer just code its now a game (=.=) same goes for a small batch game i was toying with (kinda like a old text-based rpg inspired by dnd). I mean heck looked up a graph of game engines ( just to see what was out there and which would be best for what i was doing) the page had 'game engine' in large font center-top of the page.. mother walks in looks at laptop and goes 'are you gaming!?!' thats like asking someone thats staring at a engine block if they're about to go racing.
// Now that im working again, i've pretty much given up on coding for the foreseeable future
Thats most of my story up to the point.. does this 'sound' like addiction?
here stands the bird of hermes,
eating my own wings to keep me tame.