Just realized that I need to stop.

Hello everyone.

I've been suspecting that I may have a problem with computer games for some time now. Too many all-nighters, trying to hide my in-game time from my relatives, the guilt, and the fact that recently I almost got thrown out of college for neglecting assignments.

Games have been in my life since early childhood... I remember how fascinated I was as a kid, watching my uncle play. I really liked him, maybe even looked up to him, and he was really into those things. That's how it started.

I've been a gamer, more or less intensely, for most of my life. I've gone through cycles of wanting to cut it out or control my gaming time, uninstalling and reinstalling games, especially over the last two years. For me, the most recent drug of choice was Hearthstone, though I've had a fair share of MMOs in the past, too.

I've been noticing how playing affects my health. At times, I would keep playing when I was really tired, even though I knew it was bad for me. It felt like everything else in the world was unimportant as long as I got my share of dopamine. And it was never quite enough.

And I realized just yesterday, after having done some reasearch on the topic and reading the forums here, that it's actually affecting my brain chemically, and that it's not enough for me to just 'try to control it'. It's not going anywhere, and I think I still have enough willpower in me to stop. With support, it might not be too late.

So I decided to quit video games cold turkey. Committed to not playing for 90 days and involved my parents to help me keep to it. It's a kind of a detox, to see how will I feel after those 3 months, and if my perception would change anyhow. I have a hunch it will as soon as I'm through the withdrawal period. I also have a hunch that it'll probably be best for me to quit for good after this time, but I'll decide later on.

I'm really grateful to have found this site, and I'll definitely come to the meetings. Thanks for hearing me out.