I found this site in January, but still wasn't able to admit my addiction. Well... I just turned 30 and for the first time ever I took a good hard look at my own life and what an empty sham it is.
I started gaming around the age of 6 and never really stopped. I quit the first university I studied after two years and just now I am finally finishing my masters at another. My family is very rich and I am spoiled. I was never capable of supporting myself financially, always heavily relying on the wealth of my relatives.
I never had a serious long term relationship. Games always filled that emotional need for me. Games completed me. They made me emotionally stable. They allowed me to close my eyes to the realities of life. As ridiculous as it sounds, I always thought of real life as a necessary evil, as just a support system for gaming. I arrogantly laughed at others trying to achieve big things in real life. I never understood them, I was fully saturated by my virtual dopamine dispenser.
I had too much love, too much support, too much understanding for my asocial nature. I identified with it. Ironically, I drew a sense of power from it.
What a waste. I am starting at ground zero.
Thanks for reading, I needed to finally "put it out there".