*note: sorry if it jumps around a bit.
I've had a video game problem for a long time now. It probably started when I used to live in the states. My dad would be off at work, my older sister would be at school, and my mom would be doing things. I would pretty much be left on my own, but hey! I wasn't lonely, I had a GameCube. This occupied most of my time until eventually at the age of four my mom and dad got a divorce. My mom my sister and I moved to Canada. I had no friends there so my mom bought me a PS2. Since I only went to half day preschool and kindergarten, I would spend my entire afternoon and evening playing video games. Luckily or unluckily for me, I was oblivious to my problem, and found some friends at school who shared my interests. This continued until about a few months ago. Now I'm in grade 9 and things haven't been doing so well. My sister started trying really hard at school when she got into grade 8 and wanted to go to MIT. She joined an advanced learning program for highschool, since she joined it, I joined it to when I eventually came to highschool. My sister managed to impress all of her teachers and now they have really high expectations of me. Sadly, I have been unable to deliver. My gaming habit has constantly been affecting my grades at school. I can tell I am disappointing my teachers and my family. I know that my mom is still hoping something will click and I will become like my sister. I am constantly being late with all of my assignments and my grades are pretty bad. I keep trying to quit videogames but I always seem to relapse. I have been in a state of depression for a while now, and I feel like I don't even play videogames for fun now. I've even contemplated suicide a few times but never actually tried. To make matters worse, my sister did get into MIT, now there is even more pressure on me. I am trying to quit again. Even as I am writing this, I am uninstalling all of my games. I hope it works this time.
Gaius, if you feel like hurting yourself, please seek professional help. Gaming addiction will make depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses worse.
Andrew P. Doan, MPH, MD, PhD
My Gaming Addiction Videos on YouTube: YouTube.com/@DrAndrewDoan
*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy, DHA or Department of Defense.
Hi Gaius. Welcome to Olga.
A curious thing always seems to happen with me: the higher the pressure, the higher the desire to escape, the greater the chance to relapse.
What I tried to do was the following:
- make your nr1 priority stopping gaming, everything else is secondary.
- go to meetings
.. and strangely, when I do this, the rest seems to come "automatically".
We tend to be our own worst critics. I can bash myself up so bad: I am lazy, I am stupid, I am etc.etc.. Try to cut down on that negative stuff. You are not worthless, you are a great person, just in a difficult time right now.
You are probably smart, just like your sister. But that does not mean that you are just like her, or must do like her. I am from a family with three kids, we are all COMPLETELY different. And that is OK, we are all good people in our own way.
I would suggest you try going to some meetings. Talk to people, share your story. You will find that there are many more like you. And it is great to be able to share your story.
"I want to see people and I want to see life."
gaius,
I'm pretty shocked that you're seeking out help at your age. Takes a level of maturity that most people don't have, especially myself during my worst gaming addiction at the age of 14-16. My parents also divorced when I was 13, and it further expanded my problem.
Is gaming purely a distraction? Or is it also a social interaction?
Either way, you should find ways to be involved in your community (easier said than done, but take small steps).
My suggestions
-Find a hobby (I bought a ukulele, and free tutorials are INCREDIBLY easy and rewarding)
**If you decide to buy a ukulele, it'll serve as a productive distraction (which you can use instead of videogames). Ask your mom, it'll cost at least $50 for a good one. and if you're at all similar to me, DON'T FRET about spending money on productive activities (gym membership) or useful things. You're worth it, and you deserve to have healthy outlets for your time.
-Find a local association or community service group, that you can independently join (e.g. that you could walk to, or bike to on your own).
**This is perhaps not so easy, as it requires you to step out of your comfort zone and be proactive. But if you can find something of interest, whether it's a sports fan club, philanthropy, hobby/craft group (ukelele group, perhaps? :)), or even student government/clubs!
-Keep a journal, where you write 3 things you want to accomplish. That's all. 3 things, of your choice. (e.g. #1: wash my laundry, #2
-Don't feel guilty about playing videogames. You're not a bad person, you just need to push yourself towards new outlets.
Treating your depression is as important as quitting video-games. Consider maybe doing basic exercise (10 pushups in the morning.. then gradually ramping up) or going for a run (running 6-7 minutes in a day, and slowly increasing).
STAY CURIOUS and inquisitive. If you find the extreme urge to play videogames, immediately step away from the computer and find an activity of interest (ukelele, hobby, an interesting book, go to the gym, wash the dishes/laundry, walk the dog, challenge the mom to tic-tac-toe, ANYTHING!!)
The key is small steps. Even if you backtrack, it's okay. Just observe why you backtracked, journal it down, and continue along without getting negative.
This was long, but good luck. I believe in time you can create your success
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan Press On! has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."
-- Calvin Coolidge