New and seeking insight

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Zomb
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Joined: 10/05/2017 - 11:47pm
New and seeking insight

I've been binge gaming for almost 5 years now. I've played multiple days in a row countless times and recently it's gotten much worse. I am a father of two and married. I work away from home but get 4 or 5 days off at a time. And those days off are spent on my game. When I do get off my game I constantly think about my next session or my previous session. I've stopped associating with my real life friends, family, and co workers. My love for fishing and motor sports has vanished. My hygiene has gotten worse. My chores around the house never get done. I neglect my vehicle upkeep which I used to be very uptight about. I've called in to work just to play games. Taken vacation to play.
I look in the mirror and feel empty. I want help but the thought of completely giving up gaming isn't sounding viable right now. I miss the person I once was when before my passion for gaming turned into this life robbing disease.
I feel like a child when my wife and I talk about my addiction. I never thought there was even a possibility to be addicted to gaming in this type of way. When I hear about the comments my parent in laws say about me gaming it infuriates me. They don't know what it's like. No one knows besides the ones who suffer from or have in the past. I've had a gambling addiction, drug addiction, and alcohol addiction. Those were easier to give up than this. I think maybe because games are so much easier to obtain? Games can be available almost anywhere.
I want to get better and still game. I have to find a happy medium. I don't want to give it up completely. I remember playing games as far back as I can remember and the joy it brought me helped me escape the miserable life I lived as kid. Through my life, games helped me cope. Or atleast forget.

Ritchy
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welcome

Welcome, and thanks for sharing your story.  I can relate to so much of it.  I was compulsive with my gaming and neglected just about everything else in life to game more.

I didn't know it could be a real addiction and didn't want that to be true.  I wanted to cut back my gaming and get my life under control.  I didn't want to stop.  But all my attempts at moderation failed.  I tried everything I could think of and kept at it for years.  In the end, my compulsion was worse than ever.

This past year has been very different.  I do what I say I will (mostly), I'm present for my family and friends, my home and hygiene are better kept, I have hobbies again, and I feel so much better all around.  Things are better at work and my mood is much improved. It feels great to be able to laugh and have a social life again.  All this positive change started when I stopped gaming.  I accept that I cannot game in moderation, cannot game at all if I want to enjoy a decent life.

You're in the right place.  Keep sharing about whatever you're facing.  There are a lot of people who have been where you are, but who have since escaped the vicious downward spiral of gaming addiction.  Check out the daily meetings at 10:30am and 7pm PDT.  It really helps to know we're not alone and that people have found ways to make the changes we want and need.  Write me any time.

http://www.olganon.org/forum/line-meetings-message-board/all-online-meetings-computervideo-gaming-addicts

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome Zomb !

Welcome Zomb !

I hope this forum helps you figure out what you need to do.

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

Zomb
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Last seen: 1 year 12 months ago
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Joined: 10/05/2017 - 11:47pm
I got rid of the Xbox. I feel

I got rid of the Xbox. I feel great that I did make this change. But after a few days I feel the need to get a new one. I've been feeling mopey and no drive to do anything. I'm constantly searching for games to play on my phone but none give me that feeling my xbox did. It's hard. My brother in law wanted to bring his Xbox over but I told him no. I do have some control over it but it's still a constant thought through the day. I really want to start music production but the upfront cost is holding me back. Money has been tight lately and getting money to do anything has been hard. So I've been sitting around the house trying to keep myself busy with my kids as much as possible. I just hope something switches in my head to forget about gaming and move on soon.

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Well done at keeping off the

Well done at keeping off the xbox !

As time goes on the cravings usually are reported to get less bothersome. Your brain chemistry will recover from dopamine overload that gaming creates, but it may take some time. You may have to be on guard for years as relapses after years of being clean are not unheard of. Finding healthy alternatives for your time is key.

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

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