PLEASE HELP, I HAVE NO WHERE ELSE TO GO !

Well...i don't know how to start this but i was told by people from a forums...to go ask for help, ask someone who's proffesional...the thing is i don't know im crying now...i don't know what else to say i went to my father asking him for money to go to a therapist yesterday he said...no i have too many persons im supporting alone....because my father have two families...he work for my 7 other brothers and sisters...and he has another family which has me and my younger brother, the thing is im 22 years old and i study two things Economic and English Studies...and i don't know after studing i travel back home...because the university were i study is located in another city...so here is my problem: i love games so **** much especialy a game called Metal Gear Solid...i feel its like a part of my life..and i play in PS3...the weird thing i do is that i wear clothes like the hero and play for hours...i even smoke if he does...and harm my self if anythibg happen to him...like electrocuting my self or burning my self...i love that game to the point were i impersonate the hero its not me anymore its him ..im him...i even mimic his voice...well what made me come here...isthat im tired of being weird, i want to change i really want to....but i got banned on a forums called [name removed]...that's were i got banned they told me to ask for help and this happened to me 2 days ago...now imready to change and ready to be different if tgats what they want...and im ready to listen to any of your advices but please let them know that i did an effort by look for help..., i'll be so happy and i ll follow what so ever you will say, they will help you into helping because these guys understand me much better...now please help me out by this...i just wanna be unbanned and i'll do my best with stoping with games...i have some friends there that i consider family and i don't want to lose them...thanks for your understanding... Their forums: [link removed].