Quitting Second Life [Virtual Community]

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Mini Homeslice
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Quitting Second Life [Virtual Community]

Hello all,

I hope this experience can help. What I'm about to share is incredibly personal, but I felt in my heart that I needed to share this with someone. I decided to quit the online virtual community known as Second Life on December 1st, 2015. I have multiple reasons for my person quitting the online community. I realized, as I dived more into the community and my avatar, that I was losing myself. My grades in University were suffering horribly, my relationship with my mother wasn't getting any better, and I had zero social life. I somewhat became the avatar. I focused and gave a chunk of my energy in taking care of her. I would put money into the game and buy her clothes, hairs, additional accessories with real life money that I could have spent on my person. Rapidly, it became an unhealthy habit. I was at the point where everything was very real to me. The friendships I had formed, the relationship I had at the moment, and very much everything. I had a partner prior to quitting and I had to terminate the relationship because it was causing me heartache. I didn't realize that not everyone in Second Life took it as real as I did. To me, he was just not just a partner, he was a real friend. I didn't want to face the facts because he had told me from the start that our relationship was stricly SL-based. I should have faced the facts, but unfortunately, I didn't. Somewhere along the way, I had hope. Hope that he would fall for my person in RL, hope that he would realize that were good together. I held onto this hope until the very last time that we spoke. You see, we interacted outside of Second Life. We spoke on Skype and I was able to hear his voice. I realized that the more I heard of him, the more I liked him. He was charming, nice, outspoken, sassy, kinda didn't give a crap about what people had to say of him. I loved his character, I really did. And little by little, I found myself liking him more. To be frank, I don't regret this online relationship that I had with this individual. I feel that it was just a wake up call to my person. I found myself liking him more and I saw that ... he didn't exactly reciprocated my enthusiasm. All this time, I might have just been a pixalated character behind the screen to him, just an ordinary avatar. And then it clicked, I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to be in this online community even though I was an already legal adult. I wasn't emotionally ready for Second Life because I would take all these things to heart. If someone insults me within the game, I would get upset in real life. If I found a partner, I would find myself floating in Cloud 9 for this individual. It became overbearing. Don't get me wrong, the friendships that I had formed in Second Life are very meaningful to my person and I'm gratefult to have met some of the most incredibly people out there. But, I needed to shut the doors on the one source that was affecting my emotional state in real life. As you can see by the date provided atop, I'm still fresh. I've recently done away with Second Life, and while I thought I could log in from time to time, I decided to ultimately quit. I still have a hard time not logging into Second Life. I don't exactly log into the game, but through several online pages, I can see who's online. And I still him, online and carefree as if nothing had happened between us. I guess you don't know people as well as you think you do. My avatar's name is Bleue ... and from the very moment I quit, I decided to lock her up in a box and throw her to the deepest parts of my mind. I was consumed by this avatar that I had let myself go. And then one day, it just clicked. Time to let go of Bleue ... and time to have Erika come into the picture. It's time to put myself first. Thank you and I hope this has helped my fellow recovering gamers :)

Eri

Polga
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Welcome to OLGA.

Welcome to OLGA.

Thanks for your share

We have many members who have quit second life. All the best to you.

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planner
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Hello Erika, I am happy that

Hello Erika, I am happy that you have found us. I would suggest you read more posts, repost and try to get to know people in here because if you have spent long time playing, it wouldn’t be easy to quit only by yourself.

"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"

KingHoop16
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I was there once, too

I also was a Second Life addict. I was young, beautiful, sexy, and spent money maintaining that image. I had boyfriends (in the game and through the phone also). Over time, I found myself becoming more depressed and lonely the longer I played. I owned property, had beautiful homes, and yet I was alone wandering through the halls. I quit cold turkey, and when I tried to return I found that the game had changed so much I couldn't get around easily. Honestly, the only thing I miss is the virtual cat I had to leave behind.  :-)

Unfortunately, I've replaced my Second Life addiction with a Big Fish Casino addiction. And Big Fish is costing me a lot more in real money than 2nd Life ever did. Hence, my entrance into the group. 

Polga
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Wecome to OLGA Kinghoop !

Wecome to OLGA Kinghoop !

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Ivia
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Quitting Second Life

 I finally had to quit Second Life. I had spent six years isolated, lonely, and depressed. I had spent over $1000 and  had one of the best looking avatars in SL, not to mention a gorgeous piece of land, too.  But I was tired of being willing to open myself up and meeting people who couldn't voice, or show a picture. It seemed the focus was sex and sex only. Yes I wanted to learn, and I wanted to explore, but I also wanted to forge genuine connections. 

 I had  such low self-esteem that I couldn't see I was the one preventing me from getting out there and making genuine connections. I wasn't going to make connections In SL  because most people in there were just like me, running away from who they are.

 I wasn't happy in my real-life, hadn't been happy for many years, and so I was trying to create a fantasy where I could be happy. The reality of it though, is that I wasn't seeing it as a fantasy -  I was taking Second Life very seriously: It became my reality.

 I admit at first it was OK, I could go in by myself. I would spend hours taking pictures, generally very late at night after everything had already been done during the day.  I must have been a late bloomer because eventually curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to connect with people, experiment with things I had never tried, and see just how real I can make my avatar. It was almost like the avatar was an extension of me and was becoming more important than I am in reality, so I had to make her more and more like me no matter the emotional and monetary cost. 

 I met a very special person in second life who is a counselor and who became my best friend. This person is very gentle and loving so he refused to go into second life, instead focusing on me on Skype and on the telephone.  He got me going with classes, weight loss, and helped me explore myself in a healthy way  -  and when he realize that Second Life was no longer healthy or beneficial for me he encouraged me to get rid of it. He will soon be deleting his, though he has not been in for six months. Whether he deletes his account or not doesn't matter, what matters is that I had to do the right thing for me and this person is still in my life and loves me  very much. 

 Second life is quite addicting especially for those who have addictive personalities. I always say people who are addicts are people of extremes. I have been addicted to food, and come from a family of alcoholics.  It doesn't surprise me that I became addicted to  Second Life.

I quit smoking and have not smoked a cigarette in a year. I do not drink say for one glass of wine a month perhaps. I used to have a positive addiction to the gym,  and for a while managed to keep my account with second life without logging in. But that ability has now escaped me. 

 What hurts the most and was the final straw, was all the females I would meet that were really men.  Also all the women I would meet who were dishonest, and also was the reality that second life is really a universe of fakes who are just like me, trying to run from something they don't wish to face. That something is themselves.

 I deleted the account permanently, all that money and  all that history, gone. I feel a little sad because I feel like I have had to cut away a part of myself. I thought the avatar was so beautiful that she could inspire me to be beautiful too -  but I am beautiful, I'm just overweight and if I get up off my ass and not waste time in second life, I will see that sooner than later. I am also ashamed, because in someway I feel like  other people could handle it, and maybe this is something I tell myself to feel better. I  really don't think a lot of people handle it well at all.

 When I shut my account down permanently, I cried. My loved ones were both there for me as I was doing it. Then I realize I had an alt, and I had to delete her. I spent $50 on her and had made her recently for pictures. So, that was also hard.

 I left my blog along with the photos I took and a goodbye note to people I met along the way who may be curious, also strangers who may stumble upon it. When I look at the pictures  now, I can comfort myself by knowing she is still there just in a different form. It still makes me cry, but that's because I'm not seeing the reality of the situation -  really I was so lonely, had set aside so much of my real life, was not moving the head in my goals,  not facing my real life issues, and believing the lie. 

 And while it's difficult to get back to reality, I know in the long run this is the best thing I could do for myself and for my loved ones , and most important – my life. 

Even though I still have the urge to reopen my account, deep down inside I know it's very bad, deep down inside nothing can convince me of Second Life's intrinsic value,  because really when one thinks about it there isn't one. Nothing can replace trees, flowers, all of nature in its various forms, the connection of human touch, the feel of a real animal that is breathing, the love of a person you know in real life, and most important -  your own value in reality. 

Polga
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Thank you for sharing your

Thank you for sharing your experience, Ivia

Welcome to OLGA !

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

Persephone
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I've been off Second Life for

I've been off Second Life for the last couple of months. I guess I'm addicted, but I don't want to give it up entirely. Being in SL cost me more in terms of time & focus than it did in money. I was paying $ 144/ year for 2 premium accounts and $ 40 / month for virtual land that I shared with my real life landlady/ housemate. I think she's more addicted than I am, but she's retired, so she can afford to spend more time in SL. I'm unemployed, & spending so much time in SL was keeping me from trying to fix real life issues. It was easier to escape into a virtual world where "life" there seemed better.

After my not being able to pay rent for the last year, my landlady finally decided to kick out me & her other boarder, sell her house, & move to a senior apartment complex. Because of my lack of money, anxiety & depression, I couldn't find another place to live in time & ended up essentially homeless, while people my landlady hired to clean out her house sold, gave away or threw out almost all my furniture & possesions. I could only save a few family photo albums that my nephew picked up, my dog & what I could keep in my car. Luckily I have a car & found I had money in a 501K account, so I'm in a pet-friendly motel now & will be renting a room in a house next week.

I'm bored & feeling down while I sit in this motel room, though. I promised myself I wouldn't go back into SL until I had a job, but I'm tempted to go in now. Before my landlady told me that I had to get out, going into Second Life often made me feel less depressed. I could talk to other people in there & not keep running the same negative thoughts through my mind over & over again. I could sit my avatar by a virtual ocean & listen to the surf or see beautiful environments & art that other people had made. I don't want to detach completely from SL, because it does have positve aspects for me, but I don't want to let it consume me either. It's very easy to get addicted to a virtual world that can seem like a better place than physical reality.

wazzapp
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Welcome to Olga Persephone

Welcome to Olga Persephone

Thanks so much for sharing your experience!

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

Pamylla Allen
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I've Finally Done It!

I left a similar message here in another thread, but I want to reiterate it.  I've been meaning to do this for some time, and last night was the clincher.  I quit Second Life after ten years, and last night was my ten-year "rez day".  For those of you in the know, a "rez day" is your Second Life birthday.  Ten years, to some, is a big deal.  Not many people thought that way last night, though, myself included.  It hit me hard.  What was my true worth in this virtual world?  I wasn't being myself, but some pesky little things kept surfacing from my personality.  It seems that, in my case, all of my negative traits would be profoundly showcased there.

To be honest, I've been kind of weaning off bit by bit, so this is no "cold turkey" case.  Over the past couple of years, I've been slowly losing my taste for this sort of escapism.  I may have kept some of the friends I made there, but time will tell.  If not, they were never really friends. 

One of the biggest losses coming from this decision is the massive inventory of items I had accrued over a decade's time.  But what were they, really?  I really didn't sink that much money into any of it, only Lindens (the official currency of Second Life).  Once you get over that, it's bound to be easier.  I'm still mentally grousing over it, but I know it's the right thing to do, to leave it all behind now.

DaliaFields
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Congratulations Pamylla!  I

Congratulations Pamylla!  I left SL this year after a decade too!  It was hard at first because I got emotionally attached to someone for all those years.  I was a successful content creator and store owner but I gave it all up to regain my Real Life.  It was not easy but can be done.  I sometimes get tempted to log in just to see what's going on but I don't.  It's not worth it.  It's time to focus on yourself now.  In my case, I worked on making a beautiful avatar dressed in the latest fashion.... For what?? Ugh!  Now I am working on my Real body to make myself even more as beautiful as that sexy pixel I left behind   :)  Feel free to PM if you want to chat.

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Congratulations :)

Congratulations :)

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

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