First of all I recognize my problem is probably not the same as most people's here but it's still more of an addiction than it should be, regardless.
I roleplay online. I don't mean an actual game like an MMORPG or anything like that. It's hard to explain what it is. I'll try though.
Basically, it's all text based roleplay. Like as in I'm a character of my choice from a certain TV show/movie/book and others are other characters and we all join up and write together in a storyline. I write a few paragraphs for my character then they write for theirs.
See, this sounds like it can't possibly be life ruining or addictive but trust me, it is. Especially when this has been your only escape method since you were a teen.
I've been doing this for about 18 years. Sometimes I am able to do it more than other times. I also spend entire nights online doing it and sacrifice sleep. I love my partners they are like my best friends. Except, they aren't real friends and I don't really know them.
Now, I completely understand that it's possible to have a connection with people via the internet, fine, I'm not denying that but this is seriously cutting into what is sane for me. I have recently noticed this after (For some reason and I don't know WHY) literally all of my partners just stopped responding/coming online. Yes, this is really unusual and since I can't contact any of them (there's a good group) as none are responding to me or even active on their own pages, I mean for a few weeks at this point, I have noticed what an obsession I have with doing this.
I am still up all night, watching the website hoping someone will get on. I am sacrificing my time for it and nothing is happening. I am getting deeply depressed that, for whatever reason, all at once, all my partners just straight up quit roleplaying. Not only do I realize that I'm doing this but I can't find anything else to fill my time with because I don't want to. I know I have to though.
For one, I don't have the best life to begin with and my roleplaying was not interfering with my real life relationships (I still always hung out with friends, went out, I didn't neglect work or school). I had a good balance between roleplay and real life and I still do. Except now, beyond my control all my partners have vanished. They are either all ignoring me and not telling me, or they just aren't there at all, for whatever weird reason. This means that though I don't WANT to give it up I HAVE To and that's coupled with knowing that I SHOULD because I'm too old for this anyway and it's causing me to lose sleep, I just don't know HOW to give it up.
I have tried filling my time with other hobbies. I mean really tried. I'm a writer for one, just finished writing a screenplay and it's been sent out to actors who requested it. (This is what I mean that I get stuff done despite roleplaying) but I find I have no attention span to write anything. I find I'm not interested in watching movies or TV. I find that there's really just no one to talk to. I can't say I feel lonely, I just feel bored. Roleplay was my escape from my crappy life, my partners all left, I know it's unhealthy to have this attatchment to roleplay, and it's like now I'm going through forced withdrawal if I like it or not.
I don't really know if I expect much help from anyone here, as this isn't a usual problem when it comes to games or gaming, I just wasn't sure where else to go. Thanks for any advice anyone has.