I just wanted to give my thanks to the community for listening and offering suggestions through difficult times.
PC gaming addiction has been an issue for 10ish years. with the last 3 becoming crippling.
coupled with drug addiction it was like digging my own grave with a tea-spoon.
I never managed to get onto an online meeting (anxiety), but people listen/read my forum posts, which was nice. there were some nice suggestions (eg make lists + draw future hobbies). It gave me hope for a fun / enjoyable / fulfulling life outside the world of gaming.
for about a year i was painfully aware that gaming was ruining my life, but i wasnt ready to give up. I have a narcotics annonomous sponsor who has experience with addictive gaming. he kept flagging up my gaming "laptop needs to go before we can make headway with recovery". but i wasnt ready to give it up. so he said "okay, we will do it the long and painfull way then, slow death it is".
I am very gratefull he gave me this option, to reach my own rock-bottom. to exhaust all possibility of a healthy future that involves keeping gaming in my life.
There was a sort of condition to doing it this way though. for many years gaming was crippling me, but i never admited it, never talking about the daily impacts it had on my health. now though i was talking about the impacts it had on my health on a daily basis, to my sponsor and to friends.
though my sponsor fully understood the insanity of it all, when i mentioned to friends "im so tired, gaming until 4am last night" they look at me funny / puzzled and say somthing like "well stop doing it then". thier response anoyed me, but that didnt matter, the important thing was i was admitting the gaming effects on my deteriorating health.
Im definately no recovery wizard, but looking back i think the solution was as simple as admiting my addictions + its effects, on a daily basis, providing an effect of self-reflection, watch my own deterioration as my gaming world crumbled around me. With that, i think recovery became inevitable.
So i just wanted to come here to give thanks to this community who listened to / read my posts of desperation. thankyou for your service.
life getting better now, i still occasionally find ways to shoot myself in the foot (eg netflix binges), but each new addictive behaivioir is slightly less destructive/addictive than the last. Its nice to go to work with 6-8 hours sleep the night before. I am currently persuing my ambitions of starting a business.
every few days i catch myself thinking "maybe i could give gaming another go", but they are just thoughts, probably somthing i will have to live with for the rest of my life, thats okay though, i dont need to act on them.
hope you have a nice day / evening
Thought i might have a go at Warhammer!? (AoS)