sold gaming laptop 3 months ago. life getting better. thank you OLGanon community

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Chris-L
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Joined: 02/15/2017 - 7:16pm
sold gaming laptop 3 months ago. life getting better. thank you OLGanon community

Hi all

I just wanted to give my thanks to the community for listening and offering suggestions through difficult times.

PC gaming addiction has been an issue for 10ish years. with the last 3 becoming crippling.

coupled with drug addiction it was like digging my own grave with a tea-spoon. 

I never managed to get onto an online meeting (anxiety), but people listen/read my forum posts, which was nice. there were some nice suggestions (eg make lists + draw future hobbies). It gave me hope for a fun / enjoyable / fulfulling life outside the world of gaming.

for about a year i was painfully aware that gaming was ruining my life, but i wasnt ready to give up. I have a narcotics annonomous sponsor who has experience with addictive gaming. he kept flagging up my gaming "laptop needs to go before we can make headway with recovery". but i wasnt ready to give it up. so he said "okay, we will do it the long and painfull way then, slow death it is".

I am very gratefull he gave me this option, to reach my own rock-bottom. to exhaust all possibility of a healthy future that involves keeping gaming in my life.

There was a sort of condition to doing it this way though. for many years gaming was crippling me, but i never admited it, never talking about the daily impacts it had on my health. now though i was talking about the impacts it had on my health on a daily basis, to my sponsor and to friends.

though my sponsor fully understood the insanity of it all, when i mentioned to friends "im so tired, gaming until 4am last night" they look at me funny / puzzled and say somthing like "well stop doing it then". thier response anoyed me, but that didnt matter, the important thing was i was admitting the gaming effects on my deteriorating health.

Im definately no recovery wizard, but looking back i  think the solution was as simple as admiting my addictions + its effects, on a daily basis, providing an effect of self-reflection, watch my own deterioration as my gaming world crumbled around me. With that, i think recovery became inevitable.

So i just wanted to come here to give thanks to this community who listened to / read my posts of desperation. thankyou for your service.

 

life getting better now, i still occasionally find ways to shoot myself in the foot (eg netflix binges), but each new addictive behaivioir is slightly less destructive/addictive than the last. Its nice to go to work with 6-8 hours sleep the night before. I am currently persuing my ambitions of starting a business.

every few days i catch myself thinking "maybe i could give gaming another go", but they are just thoughts, probably somthing i will have to live with for the rest of my life, thats okay though, i dont need to act on them.

hope you have a nice day / evening

Chris L

Thought i might have a go at Warhammer!? (AoS)

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Hi Chris

Hi Chris

Great post !Thanks for coming back and sharing what has been going on in your life. It sounds like you have something good to mentally hold on to and build upon. Keep going  and contunue to enjoy your real life.

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