How much different is gaming compared to browsing the internet endlessly? I have been wasting my adult life in games (mostly, league of legends and lords mobile), however as the years passed by I engaged in gaming less and less and now I just spend days in bed or couch binging TV shows, or Twitch, or YouTube, or browsing the internet etc. The impact of tech on my life has been devastasting in all sorts of ways. Currently I lack energy to do basic things like walk, shower, everything. I'm trying to Change this lately, but it's not working as always. For example, I went to the gym today and felt terribly exhausted after, went straight to bed with my phone when I got home. I just want to stay in bed all day and disappear to the world. I know that this state is not normal. I'm unsure if medication would Benefit me. I dont have any purpose or goal in life. I dont really feel sad, anxious or unhappy, I just dont feel anything at all, others than a need to be constantly in bed doing nothing but procrastinate. But I understand this is extremely unfair for my parents and I need to start getting my sh** together and contribute in something, but every minor task drains me. I Also have very numbed emotions, the other day my Mother was hugging me and cried and I almost just sat there feeling nothing(at least compared to what she was feeling). I dont feel sleepy or anything, I'm resting normally. I'm just stuck in this lazy zombie mindset that I cant get out of. This lasts for many years. I dont know what to do. I'm supppsed to finish my degree, I'm in my last year which I failed 2 years in a row because I was playing lords mobile and watching videos and league of legends streams all day (mostly in bed), which I sustained through lying to my parents. I'm tired of lies, but also deeply unmotivated to do anything. There isnt anything that I like. I should probably get a job and give up my degree, I dont think I can study anymore, I don't know. At least a job Will fill my day. It Will stress me and exhaust me but I feel like that would be a good thing for me. I Started therapy the other day, which I also did in the past, years ago. But like my parents, I also ended up lying/half-truthing to my therapist to get away with this parasatic life for longer. I Will try to do different now. Any suggestions would be welcomed, and you can be brutally honest I dont mind. English is not my first language so apologies for mistakes.
It must be hard for you going through the motions and feeling the pain of your parents who are seeing your life slip away from your grasp.
I believe the "zombie" feeling you describe is actually quite common to people that are going through a similar situation, via eitheir excessive gaming, YouTube binging, social media splurging and the like.
Take note: you ARE aware of the problem, since you were able to very clearly articulate what you feel isn't right for you anymore. The onyl thing that's missing is taking action, which is always the hardest step. Notice when you mentioned therapy you said: "I will try to do different now"... which really means you are not quite ready to change yet. This is not a bad thing... it just means you are in the stage of contemplation: you are thinking about changing but are not ready yet.
The "being ready" part is not something you should force or hurry up. It'll come to you when it comes. Of course, the earlier the better... but there is no point in forcing a desire that is not there yet. But your recognition that something needs to change (soon) is an amazing first step! This is the beginning to any change in behavior.
Finally about your mom... I can relate. I know the feeling of mothers feeling sad and distressed when things are not going great for us. She's crying because you are everything to her... you are lucky to have a mom that cares so much about your happiness. Forget about the 'expectations' you think she has for you. In the end, mothers just want us to have happy and fulfilling lives.
Be well.
Welcome amgomes !
You asked a questiom about the differnce between browsing and gaming. I think that gaming is more active and more about getting dopamine rewards for achievement, whereas browsing makes little demands on the user. Both can become a diversion from living in a real life world that has problems and difficulties. I am not an expert. there must be papers on this kind of stuff.
I am a mom and your thoughts could very well fit my own son. You seem to be stuck in one place and only you can break free, although by finding support it can help you on your way and increase your chances of success..
The numbness you feel is a product of your long term over exposure to tech, withdrawal from human contact and the avoidance of psychological pain which can have many sources , . You can recover; Your body is made to heal itself. But healing can only start if you make considered behavioural changes to what you are doing now. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Healing will come from becoming more in touch with human relationships. Therapy might help you if you can start to form an honest relationship with a therapist who has empathy. Or finding a 12 step group or just changing your behaviour gradually can make a big difference over time. Your emotional health and being in touch with your body can return. You can feel alive again. Cultivate self compassion because you deserve love and love will heal you rather than self criticism which is an attack on the self which can then feed into the body needing to defend itself by shuttimg down. Glad you are here and have an awareness of where you want to go,
INFO
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Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
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Hi Andre, I can relate. I recommend reading about the symptoms of active addiction and then reading about withdrawal symptoms. You'll see just about everything you wrote about. You're not alone. I've been there. A few times, my anhedonia (inability to feel much of anything) and desire to constantly escape real life were intense.
I started to overcome the symptoms of active addiction by (1) abstaining from all video games, (2) attending meetings to learn about a program of recovery, and (3) taking some of the program's suggestions that I felt most motivated to try.
I started to overcome the withdrawals symptoms as I put game-free days together back-to-back. Gradually they subsided over a month or two.
Addiction is powerful and recovery is hard. But with the support of other people doing similar things, it's possible. And very rewarding.
There are English meetings several times per day. The Portuguese meeting is on Sundays but unfortunately at midnight Portugal time.
https://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-gamers/list-all-meetings-gaming-addicts
Hi Amgomes and all, I am a recovering gamer and a mom of gamers/ screen loving people. I stopped playing stupid solitaire games a few weeks ago. I didn't tell anyone, now I realize because I didn't want anyone to see me fail... But, I just told my husband, and now I am trying to stay off those games... That's why I am here. You are not alone.
I think it's important to not just stop the bad activity, but to put a new, healthy activity in its place. So, start small - go for a walk every day. Read. Read something pleasurable! Write a letter or card to someone. Keep a gratitude journal and write something in it everyday. It's great that you have found OLGANON, you can find support here. There are also AA meetings all over the place usually every day, so you can find real people to connect to. Although they may look down on "just" screen addiction... Sigh. It is NOT easy.
Going to church on Sunday morning is another place to find help and meaning. God loves you!
Praying for us all!
pv423
Welcome Rom !
INFO
Help for gamers here
Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
Please help! Donate here