Trying to overcome my gaming addiction

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mr.tambourine1941
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Trying to overcome my gaming addiction

Hello everyone!

I've been playing video games since I was a small kid. My grandfather bought me my first games when I was 5, he thought that it will help me to get better with computer, as it was a big boom with PCs getting more and more available for people that time. Soon he realised how addictive it was for me, but I continued playing anyway. I've played games like GTA 2 and 3 that time. When I was in middle school I was introduced to Dota and that one became my addiction for more than 10 years. While being in college, I was often playing till 1-2 am and usually underslept a lot and was late for many classes. Nevertheless I made it into my PhD program now, but my addiction made it too. I had to move to NY and I didn't know anyone in here. Now after two years here, I'm still not that much socialized, cause I play video games in my free time and that makes me a lonely person.

Last two years I've been trying to fight it, but usually it happened the following way: 1) I played a lot, 2) I got sick of it and I stopped playing 3) I got back to gaming after 3-4 months. Right now I'm not playing since June 3rd. I've spent more time reading things here and I'm writing to this forum for a first time. At the moment I feel like I need to share this. I also need to find the sponsor, who will help me going through this for real this time.

Thanks for taking your time to read this.

LeilaA
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Thanks for Sharing

I have been playing games since they were avaiable in my country. I am talking about the 80's. There were one series that I had problem in the  past. I would play for hours. I would not leave home and travel and get to know new places, like my friends did - we were living abroad temporarily.  I also used games to procrastinate. I would sit in front of the computer and say to myself: I will play just a little before I start working. I would play until my legs and my butt were painful, and I would leave the computer to lay down a bit, promissing myself  I would do my work the next time. I am 8 days clean now. 

24 h of Peace
Leila A.

Polga
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Hi Mr Tamborine !

Hi Mr Tamborine !

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like in spite of your addiction to computer games that you have managed to hold on enough to reach a high academic level. I hear that you have this sense of loneliness and disconnection from other people and that you know this is not good for your wellbeing and also  not making the most of being in NYC. What would you think you would like to be doing if you were not into gaming ?

I hope you will be able to continue this start to reach out to others and leave the isolation this addiction creates behind.

I would encourage you to listen to the mumble meetings ( link in my signiture below) to help find a sponsor. Take care of yourself

@LeilaA Congrats on 8 days clean !

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

Ritchy
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welcome

Welcome, glad you're here.  I too went back and forth between control to bingeing, to no gaming, back to bingeing, over and over.  What I found was that each time I made a promise to myself and later broke it, the harder it was to stick to that promise again.  After breaking it so many times, I couldn't even bring myself to make the same promise again.  I felt defeated and hopeless.

You're not alone in this struggle.  I highly recommend listening in on some of the meetings.  With the understanding and guidance of other people who have been through this and come out the other side, I'm able to stay on track.  My relationships, career, social life, health, self esteem, and mood are all much better than they were during the last few years of my gaming.  I hope you're able to accept the help available.  Hang in there!

mr.tambourine1941
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Hello Polga,

Hello Polga,

Thanks for your answer. I guess the best thing for me would be making friends here and spending time with them going hiking, going out to some cafes, bowling, pool, go kart and whatsoever. The big problem for me is that I do something wrong and I don't fully understand what exactly it is, so that all of the people that I'm starting being friends with after some time just slowly go further and further away and I can't develop any kind of good friendship. I also never really had a group of friends long enough, I always ended up being pushed away, so I'm getting pushed towards video games and social networks, which is not really the type of relationship I want to develop. The only good way I see for myself now is trying to be more open, but it is very hard for me.

Polga
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Hi Mr Tamborine

Hi Mr Tamborine

I think having things in common with folks is one way to maintain contact. This can be be done with sports, appreciation of the arts, charity work and volunteering, animals, religion, politics, things you have a passion in and can share with others. Have a look at Toastmasters in your area to find new friends also. Check out meetup.com in your area for other socials.

You seem to think that it is something that you do that puts people off ? this may be true or you may be mistaken, but your brain is tricking you.

Also consider that it might not be you, but it might be them. Perhaps you are looking at the wrong crowd.

You could also consider counselling that may help you, which will give you a model relationship  in a safe space and bring up things that might be holding you back. Some therapists do groupwork and it is possible you could find this insightful. Group members, once trust is built, are more likely to be honest with you about any aspects of yourself that may not be helping you in outside relationships.  There are many styles of groupwork support and therapy  that are good; a quick search of the internet shows there are groups available in NYC . They can help your personal development and could become the highlight of your week!

There may be some provision for low cost counselling in your area if you qualify. There are also 12 step groups that you might consider attending which are donations only.

I think there is a face to face meeting for gaming addicts in Tarrytown http://www.olganon.org/chapter/tarrytown-new-york-10591/tarrytown-new-york-meeting-20238

When we put ourselves 'out there' we feel vulnerable. We fear rejection. Many people  share this fear and find it hard to get outside their comfort zone and avoid doing so to protect themselves.  But it comes at a cost.

I am sure if you continue to reach out that your life will enrich itself and you will feel the benefit.

 

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

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