Trying to rationalize it is ok to play

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Slwood62
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Trying to rationalize it is ok to play

I'm new here. Just joined. I'm 54 and play online games for fun and to escape. I have a chronic illness and so a lot of the things I used to so are out now. So I began playing more and more. This game is a mmrp and play on an iPad and offers in app purchases. So I began purchasing. To the point I came into financial crisis huge debt. Issues with my wife and more. So came clean to my wife about the extent of the financial issues. In process of climbing out of the hole. She already hated the game. Now so much more reason. So to try to salvage the relationship I promised to quit. Easier said than done. So got caught out in still playing and hiding. After all what can it hurt? I quit playing during the time we spend together. Started doing other things with her etc. So what that I sneak in playing at night when I should be sleeping. I'm now sleeping in the spare room so it isn't interfering with her sleep. Oh wait. My illness is made worse with lack of sleep. And my wife has told me this is the final straw. So I really want that? Is that my choice. No. No it isn't. While the game provides some fun and escapism from some of the bad in my life and there are even people in the game that are real and I truly consider them friends. But this is an addiction and I need to get away from it. I have also realised something else. I would still spend $ on this stupid game. So that's another reason to get away from it. Come to terms with I'm an addict and I need help. 

I play online games. I am an addict.

Polga
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Welcome Stacy

Welcome Stacy

Thanks for sharing your story. You are not alone with this problem. I hope this site can help you move forward. All the best to you !

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

Ritchy
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welcome

Welcome Stacy, glad you found us here.  If you're looking to find out more about escaping the vicious cycle and turning our lives around for the better, come to the daily meetings. You could just listen if you don't want to talk yet. The voice meetings at 1:30 and 10pm are well attended. Hope to see you there.

http://www.olganon.org/forum/line-meetings-message-board/all-online-meetings-computervideo-gaming-addicts

I can very much relate to what you wrote.  My compulsive gaming negatively affected my wife, my finances, my sleep, my health.  I loved gaming, but I needed to get my life under control.  The people I've met through this site really helped me turn things around.

Rich

Slwood62
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Thanks

i will try to check out the meetings. That sounds helpful. 

 

I play online games. I am an addict.

Samyouwell
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Hi Stacey.

Hi Stacey.

I can relate to your situation quite a lot. Although the games I was addicted to were different and didn't cost me money, I experienced a much greater cost. I lost my partner of 15 years. I lost her and she is now with a friend of mine. She conspired with friends to hide this from me so it messed up friendships too.

I quit games in response to this happening. It was my wake up call. Unfortunately it came too late. Here is the thing, I ignored many warning signs along the way. I chose to continue with the games and it cost me dearly. If I could go back to just a few months or weeks or even days before we broke up and stop I know we would still be together. I have to accept the truth of this. 

You can quit. You can. Whatever you believe and however hard you think it is, you can quit. I and many other wonderful people here on this site are living proof of that. Do whatever it takes for you to find the worth in yourself to give yourself the respect you need to believe you can do this. You can do this. Just believe it and do it. You have reached out, now take the help you need to succeed. It is now about two months since I played a game. I know I will never play a game again. 

Good luck with your journey, you have everything you need to succeed.

Sam

 

Search instagram for samyouwellingtonboot

cidcid
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Well, I know that I *will*

Well, I know that I *will* game again because I *always* play again.  It seems like it's not so bad, I'll be in control this time, and that works at first.  Then it doesn't work any more and playing for "just 5 more minutes" can be done indefinitely.  Yesterday I did it for at least 10 hours.  I've been playing since 1979.  Completely addicted since 1990.  Remission for 7 years 2010-2017.  They were pretty good years.  My very worst moments are when I think, "I'm not addicted.  I can handle this."  Nothing good happens after that.  It's like I was born with a trap in my brain: Gaming?  What a *** GREAT IDEA ***!

So easy to start.  So hard to stop.  I can only be involved in my life when I'm not playing.  And I'm only not playing when I don't play at all - zero.  Once I start, I play a little longer each time, start a little earlier each time, until the reminder of my life is just squeezed out.

Technically it's a compulsion, like gambling, not an addiction like Heroin because there's no drug.  Has anyone has studied the hormonal effect of gaming?  There is a physical rush of sorts as you sit down to play and a disoriented, hollow sucking feeling when you stop.  ADD when away from the game for too long...

Anyway, the Gamblers Anonymous site has a list of 20 questions and if you do 7 or more, they say you might have a problem.  I've done 18.  Not gambling, but gaming.  Never committed a crime to finance my addiction or arrested, but everything else.

You mention financial trouble, wife threatening to leave, making your chronic illness worse, and you ask what can it hurt?  What is hurting your life more than your gaming?  I had to hurt myself plenty to learn and it's hard to watch someone else doing the same.  Yes, quitting is "easier said than done" as you say, but it's the doing (or not-doing) that counts!

Glad to see you here.  This place helps me.  I hope you find joy.

xxBIBxx
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I tend to believe that games

I tend to believe that games on FB i.e. a particular farming game, are harmless to me as long as I am not spending real money to advance in the game. I'm not excessively playing for hours and/or relating with other players esp. male players. I am however playing my main account; a secondary account and my husband's account to play a particular game. Is this considered safe or harmful to me? Any thoughts anyone?

IMVU; my vice, my addiction.

Polga
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Hi BIB

Hi BIB

I think you are the ultimate judge of what is right or bad for you.

If your playing is making your real life unbalanced or affecting your relationships, or you look back and think if only i had done something else with my limited time on this earth, then these may be   indicators that perhaps this is not such a good thing even though it feels ok to you.

There is a problem that some addicts genuinely think everything is OK; they cannot see the neglect to their children or significant other, they do not believe that they are spending 'that much' time online either, even if someone tells them otherwise.

One way you can tell if you have a problem is to try to give up gaming for a while and notice any withdrawal symptoms. Maybe try it for 48 hours. If you use any excuse to log on in that time, that is an indicator of how much you are affected by the habit of gaming.

This site is for people who are addicted to gaming in a way that their life is unbalanced and it leads them into trouble with not getting real life stuff done. If they try to give up then it is very difficult to stay quit. For those people, we believe that trying to moderate gaming is not going to work. To recover a fulfilling life, the games have got to go.

We never encourage moderation for addicts on this site. It's your choice if you want to continue to game.

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

randomambipom
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Welcome, and thank you for

Welcome, and thank you for sharing! In addition to everyone's advice here, it may be very helpful to you if you start a journal on gamequitters: https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/forum/11-daily-journals/

It will help keep you accountable and remind you of your goals.

RA

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