Hello lovely people
Iv been at it for many years now. last few years i started smoke cannabis a lot. the 2 combined made depression / isolation quite bad. a year ago i dived into Narcotics annonomous, got sponsor, started working steps (finishing step 3 atm).
luckily my NA sponsor has had experience with gaming addiction and is flexible to work both drugs and gaming with stepwork.
last week i wrote a letter to my gaming (sugestion by sponsor), like i would write a letter to a person. thanking it for the good times, and (trying to) express anger.
The gaming is causing problems (mainly late nights / isolation / lack of weekly planning), and with each week of self-reflection, it become slightly clearer that the healthy/wholesome/ fullfilling life i want is at the opposite end of the 'specrtum' to gaming.
I have had for a long time, a dream that I would like to build a yurt to call home, restore an old wooden sailboat and explore the worlds last frontier, the ocean. Before active addiction, i used to travel a lot, backpacking / vagabonding with little money and a guitar to busk. I was very purpose driven, to explore the extent of human kindness. some of the experiences blew me away, the love shown by strangers completely melted my mind. The possibilities in life became limitless for me. but instead i sunk into drug/gaming addiction and my world became so so small.
So a big part of me believes I can achieve my gratest dreams, or rather, faith in a higher power that will bring about these dreams in ways i could not imagine.
I made a plan with sponsor to sell gaming laptop (ASUS G752, more a portable desktop at 4.5kg), and get a more portable laptop (with integrated GPU).
Selling my gaming laptop seems, at this point, a critical part of step 3, as making a decision without action seems pointless. So at the moment, i am probably procrastinating, trying to figure out if i am actually 100% ready to say goodbye for good.
do i need to be 100% ready to give it up?
should i continue to the 'bitter end'?
were you 100% ready when you gave it up?
what if i sell it and realize iv made a mistake? (took me many years to save money for it).
Thought i might have a go at Warhammer!? (AoS)