First post! My son is 22 and dropped out of College a year ago as he was disappointed with the course and not happy with how it was working out. Since then he has been on the computer a great deal more ( he has always enjoyed it but it's got worse) and put on weight and got very unfit. We have tried to encourage him to look for work but he couldn't find a job that he thought he could stick with. There is a shortage of entry level jobs in this area also.
He is back at home now and I do not want to enable him any longer. He is gaming or on the computer from when he wakes up (which can be anytime from noon to 4pm) to 4 am or so in the morning.
His internet has now been removed for nearly 48 hours because he has refused to stick to our plan for getting up and excercise. I removed the games console this morning and the computer power cable so no more games.
I have told him that we do not want to enable him any longer. He denies gaming addiction and just says there is nothing else for him to do.
We are telling him he needs to take responsibility for his life and improve his fitness and outlook so that he can live within his means and not rely on us to fix his problems e.g. to get him his own apartment etc. We have suggested therapy but at the moment he says he won't until we meet his demands.
All he has now is his mobile phone which has internet access and his TV. He is currently using both a lot and stays in his room but its early days I guess.
He has self esteem issues because of the extra weight and hasn't seen his frinds for a while. He has always been shy in certain situations. We restricted his internet access until he was 18. He has lived independantly on and off and indulged his use of the computer since then. We live in the countryside so its isolated for him , so I don't want him to loose total contact with his friends. He feels he is being left behind as they are getting on with their lives.
Do you think the cell phone needs to go as he is so attached to it? If we remove his TV from his bedroom he will use our TV and there will probably be confrontation about it. WHat do you think?
Many thanks in advance.