Almost 23 y/o stuck in cycle of taking classes, wasting money and failing

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Ratherberiding
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Almost 23 y/o stuck in cycle of taking classes, wasting money and failing

We are so finished with pre-paying rent, creating work for him so he can pay us back, and watching him for the SIXTH semester flunk or withdrawal. When is enough Enough??? Can I kick him out of the apartment we set up because he was living with his girlfriend in her car?? This limping along is AWFUL!!!! I don't want him living with us. We have younger children. He is like a zombie, does not want to open his mouth for fear of another lie flying out. It sucks that he is smart. It sucks that he is addicted. It sucks with all this wasted time. This has been going on for 4 YEARS that we are aware! 

 

May Light
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I am sorry that you have to

I am sorry that you have to go through this like the rest of us... It is so demoralizing to see our smart kids wasting their life. Because they are addicted they will continue gaming for  as long as we enable...for as long as they have a roof over their head...for as long as they are fed...etc. I know it is hard to kick him out also. Unless he deals with his addiction issues, it is almost guaranteed that he will keep failing his subjects because their brain don't work properly. Gaming addiction apparently causes ADD. They have attention issues etc..

I wish I could offer you a way out of this dilemna but all I can say is, enabling doesn't help the situation. I wanted to reply your post because I understand what you are going through and my heart goes out to you. Stay strong. You are definitely not alone..

"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches." "The first step toward change is acceptance." "Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do." "Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."- Will Garcia

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome Ratherberiding

Welcome Ratherberiding

You want the best for your son; but what you have been doing by supporting him is delaying him feeling the consequences of his actions and making healthy changes. You are also feeling the frustration of knowing that you cannot control his addiction. Maybe it's time for you to step back.

This thread of parent's experiences regarding enabling may help you understand.

http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-parents-olg-anon-members-only/about-enabling-what-we-need-stop-doing-really-help

Also learn about detaching with love so that you can find joy and peace for yourself.

http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/detachment-what-means-and-how-do-it

I respect your need to not have him in your house. You need to look after you and the rest of your family. This post may help you

http://www.olganon.org/comment/267014#comment-267014

INFO

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