I am in a blended family, married for just over a year. I have lived with my husband and his son for three years. I also have 2 boys. The six of us live in the same house. My husband's son does not stay with his mother, only with his father.
My step son is turning 19 this month. He is a chronic gamer. He has the whole elaborate set up in his bedroom including over 3 monitors. He spent most of his graduation money on new items to upgrade and improve his computer system. He is in his room most of the day and night. We may or may not even see him in a day. He barely eats food during the day or night and he rarely showers. His room is a disaster.
He started college in the fall, and is now home on his break. It has been one week, and he lives in his room, gaming. Our internet speed is suffering because of the gaming. He does some "channel" where he games and others pay him to see the gaming. I am sure this takes up a lot of our internet juice.
I work at home, and have been kicked off line many times. My husband (his father) will talk to him every few days about his gaming but won't take the steps to stop him from gaming. He has projects to do around the house but stays in his room all day and night.
I am ready to split into two over this issue. How do I get my husband to take what is happening, seriously? I am on the verge of leaving because of the stress I am under living in a house w/ these issues.
HELP!
Welcome to Olganon!
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Here is a thread about another step son situation...not quite the same, but some of the advice is relevant to you
http://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-parents-gamers/whats-step-mom-do
At the end of the day here are some of your options
You can try to convince your husband about how bad this is and together you can attack this situation and stop enabling wioth some pretty serious changes to your house rules, but we cannot control other's choices, including your husbands. If nothing changes your husbands attitude, detach from husband inaction and step sons choice to game and look after yourself. There is nothing more you can do but not enable the son with anything you do.
You can say your what is on your mind to your step son directly and say that if ever he wants help; you know a website or will support him to change; then leave it at that. Detach and look after yourself and do not enable him by your own actions.
You decide that you can only recover if you physically are no longer part of this family relationship; this may be now or after you have tried the first two options for a while.
You can learn about looking after yourself and detaching starting with this welcome letter aimed at spouses of gamers...but you can also learn from it as I did.
There is lots of literature and books on this kind of thing and on this site.
You may find professional counselling can help you think straight about the issues and enable you to explore your feelings fully about what is right for you.
INFO
Help for gamers here
Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
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If you are in a position to do it - perhaps install a second dedicated line to your PC for your work and make him pay for his line?