Any advice on how far I need to go to cut my son off financially ?
Husband and I are seeing that this might be our final effort to shake him up and get him to think ?
We have supported him his entire life . Last year had to pull him out of a top university after continued video gaming , brought him home , made him work for a year , he stopped playing league now he has moved on to Smash Brothers Melee , claiming it is not addictive . A week ago he announced he is withdrarwing from conunity college and he quit his job and say he wants to be a pro gamer now .
He is a very smart young man , a perfect score on his math ACT and 18 AP Credit hours right out of highschool .
He is in big time denial !!! He honestly belivieves going pro is justifyng this addiction .
Any advice on how to get him to see he has a BIG PROBLEM WITH GAMING !!!????
Cutting off the finances , how much is to much ??
We , currently do not give him money , nor a car anymore , he lives with us , but that will not last long if we catch him gaming .
He keeps telling us he is planning to move out , but with no income and no Sponsor (I actually called his Pro Gaming Sponsor and told him he had a video gaming addiction so his sponsor dropped him )
We are getting ready to give him the ultimatum stop gaming or leave our home and we completly stop supporting you .
Should we cut off his cell phone as well ? He currently has a smart phone .
Are we doing the right thing ?
Any and all advice would help .
Mama Bear
Anything he does that you do not approve of, you do not have to support him financially.
It's his choice how he lives his life. You cannot control his choices.He needs to grow up and take responsibility for his life.He will not be able to do that if you are going to rescue him. If he sees you are letting him "spread his wings" and you are 'ok' with that (because you accept you cannot control him) and he is on his own with his plans, it just may make him think more carefully knowing that there is no parachute.
I would cut off all financial support if he wants to persue this idea. Give him a flip phone that he can top up the credit with cash if you want, but make him responsible to pay for it.
Have your rules ready if you want to let him back home when he realises how hard it is; but only is he sticks to your rules. If he breaks them after coming back, then you might want to give him a permanent good bye and enough money for short term accomodation. This is tough love.
Read the enabling threads. Parents have an overwhelming desire to enable. But that is not helping them, it is only helping us as parents to feel better about a really crappy situation.
http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-parents-olg-anon-members-only/about-enabling
http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/about-enabling-spousessos-addicted
Understand that once he is completely forced off games, you can not have a high expectation of what he is able to do because of withdrawals. He will need a period of 'grace' to recover some sense.
Keep coming back; it will help you to understand and help you stay strong.
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