My son recently decided to move in with a friend after years of enableing him , we cut off the internet in the house and took his car so he was no longer able to go gaming at all hours with his friends . He did the deed of kicking him out to be on his own for us . We gave him optins , get gaming out of your life completly and we will help you with rent and to continue your college degree.
He , chose gaming , his exact words were " I need to move out , I can not see my life with out vidio games in it "
The only hope I have is for him to run out of what little money he has and either get a job and get living real life and forget gaming or run out of money and get in a desperate situation where he comes back to us and says I am ready to stop gaming , I need your help .
He could also druge along and get a low income job and live a meager life and continue to game ?? My husband and I will only have to wait and see where this goes , we did take away his smart phone and did not allow him to take much , not even chairs , it may sound so awful of us not to even give him chairs , but we knew he would only use them so he and his friends could game while sitting on them !!!!!!
Message to My Son
It has been only 2 days since he has left and all I can do is pray that he soon realizes , it seems this waiting is the time when all our parenting efforts , lectures and values that we instilled on him will either be revived or stay burried in him .
I said I was not going to contact him and I don't know if I should , but I felt compelled to send him a letter or a messege , he did thank me very much for the letter and told me he loved me . Was he pulling a fast one on me like he usually does or was he sincere , only time will tell.
ANY AND ALL ADVICE IS WELCOME , IF YOU HAVE BEEN IN A SIMILAR SITUATION HOW DID YOU HANDLE IT AND HOW ARE THINGS NOW ?
MESSAGE TO MY SON
Gaming has always caused chaos in your life , but this is what you wanted . You wanted to be free of our zero tolerance for gaming , so you left .
You do love to Game and you have made it clear that you can not take it out of your life. You want to win at it, and be better at it , You are on a mission to win , just remember winning isn't worthwhile unless one has something finer and nobler behind it.
My son a lot of people will come and go in your life as you grow older. But no matter what, I’ll be the one who’ll always hold your hand and always have you in my heart, till the end of time.
That strong Mama Bear doesn't tell her cub, Son, stay weak so the wolves can get you. She says, Toughen up, this is reality we are living in. I want you to be independant and on your own . I want you to be stable in your life and happy . This time in your life is crucial and be wise my son, for you have the seeds in you to grow and flourish if you nurture yourself . I want you to be healthy and in a good place , that is all I want , that is behind all my actions and reactions and all my craziness .
The choices you make now, the people you surround yourself with, they all have the potential to affect your life, even who you are, forever.
It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.
People pay for what they do, and still more for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it very simply; by the lives they lead.
Every choice comes with a consequence. Once you make a choice, you must accept responsibility. You cannot escape the consequences of your choices, whether you like them or not.
The right choice is hardly ever the easy choice.
We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.
If you decide to just go with the flow, you'll end up where the flow goes, which is usually downhill, often leading to a big pile of sludge and a life of unhappiness. You'll end up in a place where the sh** ends up , you will be doing the sh**tiest things .
Courage doesn’t happen when you have all the answers. It happens when you are ready to face the questions you have been avoiding your whole life.
Have you ever been going somewhere with a crowd and you're certain it's the wrong road and you tell them, but they won't listen, so you just have to plod along in what you know is the wrong direction till somebody more important gets the same idea? Be the more important person that I know you are from the beginning before it is to late.
We are mathematical equations where your life is the sum of all choices you've made until now. The good news is you can change the equation so that you start making a difference in your life.
My son , I can only pray whatever choices you make they are the best ones for you.
Love always , forever your mom
Thanks for sharing Mama Bear. Your experience will help others.
You have recognised that any enabling him so he could continue gaming was not helping him in the long run. You have a clear view of where your control over his addiction ends. He can now feel the consequences of his actions . He can learn from his mistakes.
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