Should I pay for Treatment for 20 yr Old Who Got Dismissed from College?

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chomsky
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Should I pay for Treatment for 20 yr Old Who Got Dismissed from College?

I'm a single mom (dad left before my son was born). My son grew up with me and my now 81-year old mom. He started with a gameboy at 4, Call of Duty on playstation in middle school (I threw the machine in our artificial lake twice - my problem, instead of setting boundaries). When I tried to set boundaries, my mom who is wonderful is unfortunately an enabler who would sneak behind my back and break them but forget the excuses and blame. I did hold off late until I got him a cell phone. When he started high school he committed himself to doing well and he did. He got an amazing scholarship and studied in Spain for a  year and became bilingual. He got into a top 20 college with no tuition but it cost $16k for room and board and more. I was determined that he not take out student loans because it means forever debt. But, along the way he stole credit cards for paypal, blizzard or what not - & I'd threaten but never follow through. The summer before he started college, he gamed nightly and he'd keep me awake while he had his headphones on watching videos and screaming expletives. But me and my mom never required him to work or do chores. First semester in 2018 went OK (As & Bs). But a year ago, I sensed something wrong. I ultimately found out my son had stopped classes, stopped showering, stayed up all night gaming. I took my aunt to the college to get my son. I was shocked when I saw him. I didn't go to his room but I was told it smelled (his roomate moved in with his girlfriend). He took medical leave, came home, and I paid a lot of $ for a therapist and psychiatrist but he wasn't engaged. He just went so he'd get reinstated for college. He kept gaming and I can't believe I didn't know about video game addiction. He went back in the fall, all seemed well into before T-giving when his case manager alerted that some of his professors said he was missing college. Day 1 on T-giving vacation he stole a credit card. I thought I had a strong talk with my son. He went back to school & as it turned out he had written 2 more credit card #s & although he could have completed 3 weeks more of the semester w/ As and Bs he just stopped and I just found he was academically dismissed. For some reason, he's still in the campus apt out of state. But that's good so I can make a plan. I had offerred him Restart even thought the high cost is kind of disgusting - my parents would chip in 3/4 but my son had refused. Now I visisted a place close to home that started a gaming addiction treatment designed by Dr.Cliff Sussman (you can google him). It's a 3 month minimum - $75 k - know way I can afford that - I'll offer them like $40k - they offer treatment for my son and the family - that includes me and my mom - we'd live in the apartment at times and it includes therapy, etc. but they do integrate technology after 7-10 days but no gaming - Dr. Sussman is an expert on gaming addiction. But I'd probably also need to hire an interventionist as my son has refused treatment. This would be the first time and the last. But this disease to me is like a cancer. It is an opportunity for the treatment to teach me how to deal with my son & his addiction once he comes home - assuming this all happens. I'm overwhelmed as I work full time long hours and have to logistically figure this all out as any moment the school may kick him out. The other alternative is an internet-free home. Thank you all!

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Hi Chomsky

Hi Chomsky

I replied to your other thread about this

Take care

Polga

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