Hello, I am the parent of a son who games. I am struggling to say whether he is addicted or not (as the other programs I am affiliated with say that diagnosing the problem is not for me to say); however, my son has just failed out of college for the fourth time. Tens of thousands of dollars have been spent with no credits achieved.
I have done things that parents and those in relationship with addicts usually do. I tried to control (when he still lived with me limiting games, checking homework, essentially over controlling). I tried to bribe. I begged and pleaded. I got him counseling. I spoke to his teachers. I made excuses for him.
I now realize that I prevented my son from "hitting his own bottom". I know that I cannot do anything to change his behavior (especially because he no longer lives with me).
I am angry at myself because I paid for summer school this summer with funds I didn't have (didn't fix my car to pay for summer school he wanted). The courses were not even attempted and all failed. This semester he got a C in one class and failed all of the others. This has happened several prior times where he was academically suspended.
What distresses me a great deal is that my husband also plays games and my son has seen his father play for most of his life. When his Dad and I were married, gaming and computer were a problem in our marriage. Jobs were lost. When unemployed, days would be spent gaming and not finding a job. I did many of the same things (begged, pleaded, fixed the problem). Eventually, my son's father and I divorced.
I've sent the link to Gamer's Anonymous to my son, but that's all I know I can do. I am going to some Gamers Anonymous meetings so that I can learn more (it has been helpful). I know I am powerless and am back at step on. I'll go back to Al Anon.
Thanks for listening and I'd love to hear any suggestions.
Mom in Recovery
Mom in Recovery