Yet another 20 year old son addicted to gaming.

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Gamermomcileena
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Yet another 20 year old son addicted to gaming.

Hi, I just found this site a few days ago and I was shocked by how similar my situation sounds to so many on this forum.  My son has Aspergers and has been struggling socially for as long as I can remember.  He has always turned to gaming as an escape.  He has been in therapy with a psychiatrist since he was 14 and takes antidepressants.  He has been violent in high school over various things, not just having his gaming limited.  We tried to limit the computer time in high school by shutting off the modem at bedtime since he and his sister needed internet for school assignments and took away his computer.  He would hack through our passwords to get access, sneak into the room where my husband was sleeping(guarding the modem) and became a pathological liar about everything.  He was surly and rude with teachers and aggressive with other students at times.  I was called regularly by the school over something he had done.  We didn't know he had Aspergers at that time.  We've been in and out of counseling for years and a gaming addiction was tossed around as a problem, but never fully addressed.  There were so many other personality issues.  When he graduated from high school, we bought him a laptop as a graduation gift as he was going away to school in another state and would be staying with his grandmother.  That didn't last for long as he got completely lost in gaming and aggressive with his grandmother.   He moved back home and had been taking a few classes at a local college and playing video games.  Last semester he got so deep in the addiction that he withdrew from classes.  He hasn't been aggressive since we stopped limiting his gaming, but his functionality keep getting worse.  He now does nothing but game from the time he gets up at 4pm until he goes to bed at 4-5am.  He insists that the gaming isn't a problem, it's just his way of socializing.   I know now after reading the stories that we need to shut off the internet and stop enabling his addiction,but its complicated because he does have Aspergers and other underlying mental illness and we have 2 small children at home.  I am afraid he may get violent or suicidal if we cut him off altogether.  I feel stuck.  Any advice on how to approach this situation?  His psychiatrist says that the gaming isn't a problem, so it's difficult to get back up.   Thanks for reading.

Polga
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Welcome to the forum!

Welcome to the forum!

Keep coming back and reading the posts to make your plan! You need to come back and read, read, read, until it really starts to sink in.

How about first changing your psychiatrist to someone who understands addiction. He is making lots of money treating your son when he won't get better because of his unacknowledged addiction. So many parents have wasted therapy years talking to people who will not address it; then they find the right person to help them. No mental health treatment can work  until the addiction is undertsood.

It is also possible that any other mental symptoms could be due to the gaming addiction which can mimic mental health problems. There is a posts about it on the parents stories thread in the sticky section of this forum.

Your younger children's safety comes first so you may need to consider treatment for him away from home. Perhaps talk to the people at reSTART or wilderness therapy. At 20 years old he will have to cooperate.

There is a small thread about threat of self harm on the members only parents forum. It's something you will have to plan for when you make your plan.

There is a parents meeting in the olganon typed chat room at 9pm EST/EDT on Thursday if you have any questions

The seach box at the bottom of the page may help you locate threads to do with Aspergers etc

Keep in touch with us and let us know how you get on.

INFO

Help for gamers here

Help for parents of gamers here

Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

Gamermomcileena
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Joined: 02/21/2017 - 9:23pm
Thank you so much for

Thank you so much for replying.  This site really hits home.

It is hard to address the gaming when his psychiatrist of many years says it's not the problem.  He is very clever and able to act "normal" for the doctor.  We definitely need to find a therapist that understands addiction and can see through his facade of functionality.  

We can't afford a wilderness program, so I'll check reStart and try to find something else.  

We started seeing a new therapist and I requested that he go to bed by 2 am and get up by noon and cut back on his game time.  He grudgingly said he would try, but hasn't done anything so far.  I had a small hope that he could cut back, but that's gone.

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
If he is an addict he cannot

If he is an addict he cannot just cut back. He may tell you he will try just to keep you off his back

That is why many parents make plans to cut off all access or wean them off to zero with the parents in control.

INFO

Help for gamers here

Help for parents of gamers here

Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

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