I'm glad there is a place i can share my story with...Thanks in advance to all who read...
A week ago, being at the end of my rope, I broke up with my partner of 16 years. It's been a hard road for the past 9 years or so, lots of other issues she was dealing with and constant breakups, but what really cemented the breakup was her addiction to WoW. She has been playing non-stop since 2007. At first, it was something new and fun we both could enjoy, and for a while at least we both played it, yet still went about our daily lives. I was more interested in fishing, finding/buying rare pets, etc... and she got completely hooked on getting to the max level, raiding and getting the best loot. She would spend hours after work online, usually ending up going to bed around 3am or so. Obviously, there were what amounts to years going to bed by myself, and spending the majority of the night alone watching tv or spending time with our pets. She went from an active, social person with friends and hobbies, to an obsessed gamer who couldn't find enough time in the day to get as much WoW in as possible.
Fast forward to 2008. I was unhappy with her playing, and she wouldn't stop. Why would I want to take away something she enjoyed she would always ask. Why? Because we are in a relationship and we never spend any time together! She became more distant as the days went by. I happened upon her email at the time and read that she had been cheating on me with some girls from the game. I read things you never want to read about the person that says they love you and will never hurt you. She had been staying up late to talk to these women, having phone sex, etc... all the while i'm clueless in the next room. I confronted her and said I was going to leave and if she cared about me, she would tell me to stay. She did not, so I left. Fast forward again another year and we tried to make it work. She continued with WoW, and I found out she cheated again with the same woman from before. She didn't try to make an effort to make us work, she was unwilling to stop and she doesn't believe she has an addiction. She has a guild ingame that thinks she's the sh**, and all these friends on vent, etc.. but she never leaves the house, has no real life friends, and has gained more weight than she ever has. I was always the one trying to make her a better person, and trying to make things works with us. I tried to "fix" her, but I can't. She says she's broken and dead inside, and the game is her life since it helps her escape reality. I've tried everything from being mean, hateful, to loving and enabling and nothing seems to make a dent in her though process. I feel like I've wasted my life with this person, this is how much I hate who she has become. I'm 36 and having to start a whole new life over. It ****ing sucks. I'm the only one who seems sad about it all, but she says she's sad, etc... She sure has a funny way of showing it. She went to meet another girl from WoW the day after we broke up and had sex with her, then proceeded to leave a few days later and spent 4 days with this person. We still have to live together as neither of us is in a position to move, so it's really hard right now. I want to beat some sense into her, but it's so useless and exhausting. I'm so tired of crying and hurting. It's like a death really. The person she was is dead, and the stranger that inhabits her body is so ugly and unfamiliar to me. I'm going to seek some therapy so I can deal with my feelings of loss, etc. I know what to do. I just hate that I have to go through it yet again. I'll never get back with her I can promise you that. Even if she did a complete 180, and came begging back to me, I still would turn her away. often times I feel it best if she were to have a car accident or something and die, so I wouldn't feel so bad anymore...not by my doing of course, lol. I curse the day I met her 16 years ago...but I hate feeling that way as well, because prior to the game I thought we were soulmates and would last forever. But I value myself and what I want out of life so much more than I value trying to get her to love me.
So if you find yourself in this situation...I feel for you...and I hope you love yourself enough to not accept the relationship or settle because you're too afraid to move on. Take it one day at a time and you'll find happiness, if you want it.