I'm brand new to this site, just started today. I am turning to this group because I'm the wife of a gaming addict; we've been married just over 4 years and his addiction has caused us serious trouble for about 3.5 of those years. I would guess he games typically 40-60 hours each week- is up through the night most nights and spends most of his days gaming as well. He's been unemployed 2 of the 4 years of our marriage, which has only enabled him to spend that much more time gaming. One time he lost a job from poor performance due to exhaustion from his gaming addiction. This past year he has not worked because he moved overseas with me to a remote location (a dream of mine and part of my career ambition) this meant no reliable internet access (none at home) which was a help in restricting his access to the online games, but he simply turned to other computer and console games.
I say 2 steps forward because in our time overseas he did break his addiction to his online game (where he has characters) it was a really rough transition for him and took months for him to recover from the withdrawls. He did still play through the day and most nights, but at least when I came home in the evenings he was available- so our relationship was much better than it had been in the US (when he works during the day he games all evening and through the night). Now he's moved back to the US ahead of me, and from what I hear from family he's back to playing nearly 18 hours per day online games and stays up through the nights.
I'm terrified that the progress (albeit small) to break away from the online games is now lost. He simply cannot keep himself from the games when he has access to internet. And even when he does not have internet he finds other gaming forms of escapism.
To provide context (and not to drag this out too long)- my husband has been a long time game lover and probably (from what I hear from his family) struggled with gaming addictions long before I met him 7 years ago. However, he really got into full-swing addiction after his brother died in a tragic accident shortly after we were married. I was totally understanding of his depression (and still am) and his desire to escape from the awful reality. I really thought this past year living abroad he'd finally made strides to break free of his depression and certainly his online gaming came to a halt (although other forms did not).
I'm at a loss for what to do. We've been through it all these past 3 years- much counseling, separation, reunion, making strides, trying to start over in a new place... Now we're in transition to move back to the US and it appears he's just going to fall back into the old habit- online gaming will be his #1 priority in life again.
He is not able to recognize the gravity of the problem. Nor does he take action to change- what should I do?
I know progress is slow...but how do we keep moving forward/ not revert back?