My husband and I lived apart until recently, he worked away and I was trying to sell our home to join him. The last 4 months before moving he became distant, withdrawn, difficult and cool, coinciding with the purchase of WOW. He was increasingly angry and our only communication during the week was punctuated with monosyllabic distracted responses. I felt desperate, I was moving home, leaving all my family and friends, uprooting our kids etc just to be with this man and suddenly he was not 'with us'.
One day I suggested, very politely that he could play the game less. I never wanted to ever suggest he shouldn't do it, I think he should just use moderation. He absolutely hit the roof, screaming and ranting at me, telling me to back off and swearing at me. It was just awful. I went away and searched on the net and saw what awful problems everyone else is having. I told him about it and he scoffed and started shouting at me again 'find a few neurotic women with nothing better to do than moan to each other then suddenly I'm an addict and that's it!' Truth is, I wouldn't have found the site if I wasn't searching for 'problem, husband, warcraft'. He was such a loving man before this despite the stress of living apart.
I put politely asking to one side and warned him in no uncertain terms that if I was going to move he better be rethinking his gaming. He sulked and said 'throw it away then' and I really really wish I had because I've moved now and for the first weeks he was ok. He didn't play for the first week or so and gradually played the odd night. Last week he played every single night. He's Level 70 on one character now. He's constantly checking auctions. He's even taken to making a new character so that he can hide the hours. He's played over 22 days in less than six months. He sees nothing wrong with that. At this rate he'll have spent a year - night and day playing the game within six years but he swears this is not a problem. It's a PROBLEM.
I am so torn. I've left everyone behind because i love him so much. Tonight he tried to prod me into having a fight because he felt guilty and he felt even worse and was even more spiky with me when I wouldn't be drawn into the row. He's lazy, our business is starting to fail and I really don't know what to do. If he'd put those 22 days into the business that would be like 66 working days. It's crazy. 66 working days, that's over 9 working weeks wasted on this hobby. He doesn't write his music any more, he doesn't listen to me. Now he's started to pressurise me into playing the game as well. I like gaming, I occassionally play offline strategy games (once every couple of months or so - im too busy running our home otherwise) but I don't understand a game that can't be won. I wouldn't play it if left to my own devices so why should i feel pressurized? How do I make him see what he's doing before it can't be undone?
...no I don't want you to throw the game away, I just want you to use moderation. I know, I'm so unfair...of course you don't have a problem