i live in PA, have a small son and am living with a game addict. i have also had the same "cash shop" problem as you where she spends money from our joint bank account on the game and its causing us to fall more and more behind each week. i fear we will be out of a place to live by the end of december and she is doing nothing to curb this addiction and help out with this problem. if we were to be kicked out she could go live with her family responsibility free and i would have no where to go. im actually afraid to say that to her for fear she will realize that it would mean she could game all day, without me nagging her to do real life things, her mother and sister would take care of our kid , and she could play her game **** near interuption free at all times. i also fear she started some kinda "affair" on that game by some of the things i have heard her say into her headset ( yes, i have stood outside the door and listened). she sets a timer when she isnt playing so she knows when to get back on and "harvest" her stuff, or waiting for a specific monster to reappear or "respawn" as she calls it. i fear that she may be using this times to know when her friend gets back on the game. i sis accually ask about the times and she denied it of course. but after saying that to her she has become way protective of her cellphone. like never leaving out. even leaving the room she has her game in to come out , get her phone, put it in her pocket, and walk right back in to her game. once i heard the phone buzzing on vibrate as i was leaving the bedroom to shower at 5am. when i got out of the shower she was awake and on the game. so now i guess im also fearing that she has given her phone number to this person im assuming to be male. have any of you had any thoughts that your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife might be flirting or having an affair inside of the game? your stories would be greatly appreciated
Hi there, so it sounds like you have two problems here: one involves compulsive gaming and the other involves infidelity. This must be incredibly distressing for you. We have seen, way too many times, on this board that people do actually start up online affairs. Sometimes they stay in cyber land, sometimes they involve "cybering," sometimes the people commit to meeting in person and sometimes they end a marriage or a relationship.
May I ask, who takes care of your child now while your partner is gaming? I assume you go to work, does your child go to school or daycare, or does your partner stay home full-time? I ask this because, if she is really involved with the computer full-time, your child may actually be in danger. It wouldn't be the first time that a gamer neglected a child to play, with tragic results. It might actually be that your child willl be safer if your girlfriend goes to live with her mother (tragic as that will be for you).
About the only thing you can do vis-a-vis your girlfriend, and I assume you've tried this already, is to sit down and try to have a calm talk about the impact her behavior is having on you. You can let her know that her behavior may lead to tne end of your relationship. If she says, "oh, great," I guess you know where you are then. I also wonder how long her mother really would be willing to put up with taking care of the child AND watching her daughter game her life away. The future may not be quite as rosy as she envisions it.
If you do separate, make sure that you take all legal steps to ensure continued access to and visitation with your child. Since s/he won't have a mother (or will only have part of one), your child needs a father all the more!
Good luck to you,
Jane in CT