Give me your opinions

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jealous1
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Give me your opinions

I'm in a relationship with a man who's obsessed with games. We've been together about 7 months and i'm just realizing how bad it truly is. I've never experienced jealousy to this extreme in my life. I feel like an idiot to be jealous of video games but i am. We haven't really discussed this because i don't know how to approach the subject. I just told him i'm jealous of the game and he seems to be hiding playing from me now. Our communication, intimacy, everything really have dwindled to little of nothing. I wake up and he's playing. I go to sleep and he's playing. Now he's stopped getting on there at 6 or 7 am. That was a relief until i asked what he was thinking about and it was something about leveling up and a quest. It's as if his world doesn't exist outside of games. I don't know if i can really deal with this. It's ridiculous because i'd almost rather him be cheating on me. At least he wouldn't do that in my face or try to get me to join in. Truth is i would understand another woman better than i do this gaming.

My question for anyone who runs across this post is this. Is there hope in getting past a gaming addiction and is it worth the time? This is one of the best relationships i've ever been in besides this problem. If this doesn't get worked out i can only see it going wrong. I feel like i need to look elsewhere for attention and that's just wrong. What's the point of being in the relationship if he's not with me? If you're involved with a gamer and had to do it over again would you? If you're a gamer what do you suggest? I just need help and i don't know where to turn to ask these questions.

Thanks to all in advance.

bgh
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Hi & Welcome, I did the same

Hi & Welcome, I did the same thing to my wife for years... secrecy, lying, deceiving, minimizing, playing 60-80 hours per week. I also swapped addictions during that time, so gaming and online porn were used interchangably. He's not being straight with you. I'm not necessarily saying anything about porn usage, but where the gaming is concerned, he's gambling with your relationship by playing at all hours of the day and night. Sexual intimacy was compromised in my marriage, often because of the porn, but also because I was so distracted and spent by the stimulation of gaming I guess I didn't feel the need to bridge that gap with my wife. So, it's 'go time' for your significant other. You hate the games. He loves them, possibly more than he loves you. Sorry, but in his present state of mind, that may be the case. Ask him would he please sit down with you and talk about his gaming, with the computer turned off. I suggest you voice your concerns calmly in the following way: "When you __________ I feel ____________. Allow him to respond. Ultimately, according to my Wendy Kays, who has written an excellent book called "Game Widow," there's only three choices: he's got to change, you can learn to live with the status quo, or you can leave him. There aren't a lot of other options. (Much of what I'm writing here is a paraphrase or better of what Wendy has written in her book. Log onto www.gamewidow.org and order her book. It's excellent.) Keep coming back; we care about what happens to you! -Brad, game-free since January.

The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
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jealous1
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Thank-you for responding.

Thank-you for responding. I'm going to have a talk with him sometime very soon. I feel like an idiot because i should have known better. As the child of a man with an addictive personality i never thought i'd be anything like my mother. I've been through the alanon groups as a child and it seems i would know better. I didn't even know gaming addictions existed.

dawn
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pls dont be so hard on

pls dont be so hard on yourself. im a gaming addict and i didnt even know about addiction until i came here and began recovery. you have experience and that will help you as you move forward. your doing the best you can right now. it is alot to deal with and respond to emtionally and mentally. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing friend and keep in mind you are not alone. there is much education and support for you here. :grouphug: Dawn

Take the first step in faith. You donaEU(tm)t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.
~Bob Newhart
The minute you alter your perception of yourself and your future, both you and your future begin to change. ~Marilee Zdenek

gsingjane
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Based on about one and a

Based on about one and a half years on this board, logging in pretty much every day and reading posts, I would say that I don't think I've ever seen a post from the partner of a loved one who would have "done it all over again" knowing what s/he did now about the partner's gaming addiction. Virtually every post that I've ever seen from a partner that addresses the subject, the person says that if they had realized they were getting involved with an addicted gamer, they wouldn't have. This seems most especially true with people who have had children with an addicted game. FWIW. Jane in CT

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