So...here is our story. My husband and I have been together about 5 1/2 years. We have only been married for a few months. For the first 2 1/2 years of our life...I never knew about video game addiction or that my husband played in his past. I feel as though this big secret was kept from me. So one day, surprisingly I remember the weekend that he installed which we are coming up on 3 years. He started playing video games, I had no clue that he used to or that it was this huge virtual world. I feel as though a recovering alcoholic would tell their boyfriend that they used to be an alcoholic. I feel slightly tricked into the relationship and I take FULL responsibility in staying. Many times huge regret that I stayed at all. I have dealt with so much and I feel as though I have not had a partner for a long time and shame on me for staying and marrying someone like this. With all of the fighting came all of the promises that were never kept.
So, for the past year it has been unbareable. He has been missing quite a bit of work and his situation is where he can get away with it (do not reveal how). So his family and I had an intervention and it did not end well. You know addicts MEAN NASTY and NOT LISTENING. After thinking through the situation and what had occured he came up with an agreement, which was that he finish out the "season" and play the last tournament which is this Sunday. The internet has to be completely disconnected, which is hard for someone that is looking for a new job to replace my current one. BUT I am willing to do anything that it takes to support and make this finally happen. So things have continued the same as they had been before...the only thing getting me through is knowing it is all coming to an end. During this time period he has now used gambling as a source of going out and having fun. With obviously losing money, because like with all things he does not know when and how to stop. So now having to deal with this as well has turned my life upside down. In the past year has downloaded apps on his phone that relate to online dating or chatting sites with other women. "Nothing" has come of it and he has uninstalled them as soon as I find them. I guess I just dont understand how someone could be so insensitive to their significant other, supposedly the person that they love more than anything. I am scared to death to have a family with him, knowing that this addiction could come back at any time. I want to trust him...I just dont know.
So willing to move past everything and let everything go, with many deep breaths and using my frustration towards positive things such as exercise and spending time with good friends. I have given myself an entire new life just because I have been lonely and refused to sit and wait for him to be "ready".
The internet will be disconnected Monday coming up, but this week he has been hinting about how he has been controlling it this week. The reason he feels that he has been controlling it, is because I have not yelled at him in a couple weeks. The same thihgs occur with the exception of going to work has been better...but weeks does not turn into control. So he has been using all of his free time with the game to make up for going to work. So this hinting last night put me over the edge, him telling me that he is going to play again in a few months. My frustration over took my sanity and we starting really arguing. I can not believe that he will go through all of the withdrawl only to go back to the game.
He will not read any books that I have gotten from the library and I even found a movie on gaming addiction. He refuses to get help, will not talk to ANYONE about it. I am scared that my life is going to finally go back to normal and one day we are going to be right back where we started. One person can only take so much and if that happens I have no problem divorcing him. I just dont want this to happen when I am pregrant one day and my body cant take that stress or not working because I am taking care of our family.
How do you help someone that refuses to help himself?