Has anybody left their spouse over this?

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agbeck
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Has anybody left their spouse over this?

I am so glad that I have finally found people who have the same "issues" as me. For so many years, my husband has twisted his problem around to make me feel bad. Whenever I bring the problem up we explode into a fight over it. He is a good man, he works full time, and provides for myself and my daughter. But when it comes to his game, he had me convinced that I have a problem. He says I am controlling, needy or just can not accept him for who he is. At times, I started to believe him. Thank God for this site. It has validated so much and I know that this is not my fault. I know I do not want to raise my daughter in a hostile enviroment with parents that bicker constantly over this issue. Let alone for myself and loss of a sense of dignity and love with my partner. I want to send WoW to hell, I hate it so much for what it does to my husband and our marraige.

So my big question: has anyone with children decided to throw in the towel and leave????

Brit
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I totally felt the some way!

I totally felt the some way! I have been married two years and have an eleven month old son. I have been fighting Wl EQ for a year. His parents told me they had the same problems with him in high school. They broke his internet card when they caught him playing in the middle of the night; he just went out and bought a new one. After he graduated, he quit to prepare and serve a mission. So, I don't think his parents ever solved the problem. He found something he wanted more. I am not saying that he needs to go on any kind of service, only that he needs to want to do something else more. My husband got back into games because his friends started talking to him about them, so he got excited, then addicted again. I do not want to be with anyone besides my husband. I love hiim more than anything else. I just have to believe that he will wake up again. But before this happens, I need to be his best friend (not nagging wife_ I will finish later.

Brit
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To finish what I was

To finish what I was saying...... He is very loving when he wants to be, that is my weekness. Anyway, I do not want our marriage to be over. I am patient, work with him or on him (it seems to be SLOWLY working), and love the positive times. If you want to stay with your spouce, I would suggest looking at positive or successfull stories. I am willing to work with my spouce because I remember why I love him.

satyag
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Some people continue to live

Some people continue to live with their partners and others do leave--usually after many promises by the gamer (usually unfulfilled), relapses and the cycle starts all over. Last year there was a woman on who left after one of her children died because her gaming partner neglected the child while he gamed. She was hit by a car. This is one of the saddest stories I have ever seen on these pages. I don't know what has happened since she decided to leave. I hope you continue reading the posts of other spouses and partners (and those of the gamers who lost partners over this or withdrew from gaming because a spouse threatened to leave).

mom2girls
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This is my first time in

This is my first time in anytype of a chatroom/message board. I do not know how to use the computer well, and do not wish to. The computer has ruined my life. I have been married for 13 years, my husband has played every game there is to play. EQ is his preference. Things steadily went from bad to worse over our 13 year marriage and 3 year courtship. Yesterday, he set up a computer on our kitchen table and has one beside it on a computer desk. He apparently needs two characters so he needs two computers!!! I am emotionally and physically drained. After stumbling onto this website and reading the posts I am relieved to see that I am not alone. I have been embarassed and humiliated to talk to anyone about my(his) problem. I feel like a failure as a wife and as a mother. I am both mother and father to my children. I am a single parent in a two parent household. I feel this terrible crushing guilt because my children are suffering. I need help, I can't take the rejection and the feelings of inferiority, worthlessness, loneliness........ you name it and I feel it. Can anyone please give me some type of encouraging info. I am to the point of leaving and not caring to come back but my children deserve more........they deserve a father who lives in reality not a game!!!!!!! I can't change that.....

satyag
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I am so sorry mom2girls. It

I am so sorry mom2girls. It must be quite draining on all levels. Now you know others suffer along with you. This isn't a problem of your making so you need to not blame yourself and feel 'guilty'. You might continue reading here for some of the suggestions from other spouses--like writing him a letter telling him what you feel and what his behavior is doing to your relationship and family. You deserve more and so do your kids.

Gamersmom
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Welcome, mom2girls! Take

Welcome, mom2girls! Take care of yourself and your precious children. Yes, they deserve better, but the sad fact is that your husband is lost in a game, and it may be that the only thing that will get his attention is for you to make a life for you and those kids. I hope he realizes what he may lose before it's too late, but some don't. Read the posts here and decide what will work out best for you. Hugs to you and your girls.

"Small service is true service while it lasts.  Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not one

The daisy, by the shadow that it casts,

Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun." -------William Wordsworth

mom2girls
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Thank you both for your

Thank you both for your encouragement. After reading more of the posts last night I realize this problem,after all this time, is not going to go away. I need to take the next step to get life together for myself and my children. This site is giving me the courage to do so. I plan to (try) talk with my husband this evening after my children are in bed and let him know I am done trying.....I can't make him be my husband and I can't make him be a father to my children....... the next step will have to be his. I just worry about my girls. I have thought I was doing what is best for them by trying to make life as normal as I possibly can make it for them. But it is not normal to have a father that can't talk to you because he is busy on a computer. He has missed school plays, dance recitals, church programs and birthdays.......I know they deserve more but to split our family really burdens me. It feels like we lose either way. Once again the guilt is breaking me down mentally and I think I am physically starting to break as well. Please pray for myself, my children and my husband. Thank you to anyone who reads this.

Gamersmom
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Praying for you, mom2girls.

Praying for you, mom2girls. Praying that, if you leave, he will finally see the light and follow. It has happened here.

"Small service is true service while it lasts.  Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not one

The daisy, by the shadow that it casts,

Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun." -------William Wordsworth

gsingjane
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Mom2girls, one thing that

Mom2girls, one thing that can help you feel that you are getting a little bit of control over this situation (realizing that, of course, you have no control over your husband) is to make a plan for how you will proceed. Nobody on this site is saying you have to leave your husband right away (or maybe ever, our hope would be that you could reconcile and go on to have the happy marriage you deserve). But, since you may be at the end of things here, you might want to think about: how will you support yourself and your girls? Could you do so with what you, alone, could make? Bear in mind that your husband's addiction may, in time, cause him to lose his job and his ability to contribute. Is there something you could do, some certification or additional training or degree, that would enhance your earning capacity? Where would you live? If your husband doesn't want to move out, or fights you on it, do you have a plan? Do you have a network of friends and relatives who can help you out? Who would take care of your girls while you worked? Are your finances separate already, or can you start up a new bank account just for you? Do any of your friends have good referrals for legal counsel? How does the process work in your particular state? I know it sounds like this is a lot to think about, and it is! But perhaps making a plan, or working towards getting some of these details ironed out, will help you feel as if you are making positive steps. It is better to have the plan and not need it, than vice-versa... Jane in CT

Brit
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agbeck- I hope you are still

agbeck- I hope you are still getting the help you need. Please let me know if you are. Also, to hear what my situation is (it may help, because I feel the same way you do), read "My Story". -Brit

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