I am so happy to have found this place. My fiancee tells me all the time how I need to find friends and other poeple to emotionally support me. The very reason I need such people is because he has decided to re-dedicate his life to WoW. The irony is certainly not lost on me.
When I first met him, he was an avid WoW player. He would play until his eyes were bloodshot and he would drink one Pepsi after another to help him stay awake and focused. He expected me to just sit there and watch him attempt to level up. When I expressed my frustrations he told me, "This game is my life. Not you. This is what I choose to do with my life and you aren't going to make me change that. And you are going to have to accept that." Well I didn't. I broke up with him, refused to take phone calls and tried to move on with my life.
He told me he was just trying to push me away because so many people in his life had hurt him. He stopped playing WoW as a show of his commitment to me. The thing is I never cared if he played WoW, it just bothered me when it began to interfere with other areas of his life. Our life.
October was the month were we went through one tribulation after another. I was forced to deliver our daughter at 34 weeks because I developed severe preclampsia. She was only 2.7 pounds at birth. The same night I had her, my father was rushed to the ER because a tumor was rupturing. He was in the end stages of terminal cancer. At two days old, doctors discovered our daughter had volvulus, which is kinking of the colon. She was slated to have surgery at the same time my father was being moved into a hospice. I had a no win choice to make. Stay with my daughter or spend some of the last moments with my father? I went to be with my father while my fiancee stayed with our daughter. He passed away when she was only 4 days old, living up to his promise to hang on for her birth. Our daughter was also moved to Children's Hospital, where she would spend the next three months, due in part to needing a temporary ostomy and having to have a central line in place.
Because of all this stress, he needed something to escape to. He began casually playing WoW again. On weekends, he opted to stay in and play instead of going to see her. I tried to believe him when he said it was too hard to see her in the hospital, but deep down I knew the game was taking him over again.
He received Lich King for Christmas and told me he was only going to play long enough to reach level 80. Well, he's reached it long ago. Again, I said that I don't mind that he plays. However, it's like ivy growing and taking over every part of our lives. He actually gave me a schedule of when he could fit time in to spend with me. Wednesday and Friday he has to raid for at least 4-6 hours. Everyday but Sunday and Tuesday does he have a little time for myself and our daughter. And let's not forget that he often chooses to do Wintergrasp as well.
Our daughter is far from being out of the woods. She got an infection in her central line and had to go back to the hospital. She was discharged yesterday. He didn't bother answering the phone so I could ask him to please have a bottle ready for her when I got home. He was too busy playing. He spent a few moments with her and then spent the rest of the night on a headset, ignoring the both of us.
With all the medication my daughter now has to be on, I will get a total of about three hours of sleep. He told me he didn't really care how much sleep I got. He says he works all day and he has every right to unwind and get away from me to play. The reason I am so miserable is because he always makes his game a priority over his family.
He caught me typing this and told me all I was doing was lying. Then he browsed through the forums and decided he had a complusive personality. However, instead of saying he would work on things, he instead lashed out on me and said it's my fault because I have no friends. I have pushed everyone away he says. He asks if I would rather have him go out to bars and drink and party. Someone on here said they feel like a lonely roommate and that is how I am starting to feel as well.
Today he slept in because he stayed up playing. He chose not to go into work. He says he chose not to go in so he could help me with the baby. The truth is, he just didn't want to go. There is a game I play called Animal Crossing: City Folk. I log on long enough to check my mail, visit the store and water some flowers. At the most I spend twenty minutes online. He started yelling at me saying how I was the one with the problem. He accused me of neglecting my daughter when it's him and not me who does this.
My heart is just so heavy. I haven't been able to express my feelings because he always shuts me up, tells me I need to grow up or just to get over it. Between the grief I feel with dealing with my dad and everything going on with my daughter, I fear I may have a breakdown. The incredibly sad thing is that he just doesn't care. He's going to end up losing her and I both and I think even then it won't phase him.
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