Hello! My husband is addicted to online gaming, mostly WoW and EVE. At first, it was fine. We were dating and playing WoW together, it was a way for us to spend time together. Then we bought a house together and got married, WoW was still how we spent time together, our computers together in our office. We played for hours at night and on the weekends, but of course we didn't really have responsibilities other than work for him and the house for me. Well, then we decided to get pregnant and knowing I wouldn't have time to play anymore, I quit WoW pretty much cold turkey and asked him to do the same. He told me that he would cut way down after the baby was born. I believed him. Our daughter was born, and he did cut down a little bit, but after a few weeks went right back to his usual schedule. We constantly fight about his online gaming because I feel it takes away from our time as a family, which should come first. When we fight, he gives me every excuse as to why he should be able to play. He even blames me saying I make life so miserable for him with my nagging about WoW that he has to play just to get away from me.
The last big arguement we had was a few weeks ago when I told him that this was not the kind of family I wanted to be in and that if he wanted to keep playing that was fine, but I would leave. He told me that I couldn't take our daughter, that he'd report my car as stolen, and he'd cancel my debit card. He then made a big show of canceling his WoW account and asking "if I was happy now?" and blah blah blah. But instead of quiting online gaming, he just quit WoW and started EVE again and played that just as much as he was playing WoW. Since I was tired of having the same arguement over and over again I just gave up. I even tried to make a deal that we could only have sex on days he didn't play, but that lasted a day. Meanwhile, his friends were still playing WoW and asking him to come back to raid, but he'd tell them that I "wouldn't let him". So of course they start Facebook messaging me saying I need to "let him be a man" and to "take his b**ls out of my purse" etc. Then my husband got so fed up with their taunting that he pretty much just told me he was going to play WoW again and didn't care what I said. But that he'd only raid on Tues and Wed. I assumed that meant he wouldn't be playing the rest of the week, but he still plays every night as soon as he gets home from work to the time he goes to bed, and on the weekends from the second he gets up to bedtime.
He doesn't think he as a problem, but I keep trying to point out to him that the fact I'm willing to divorce him and he will lose his wife and daugter over gaming makes it a problem. He gives me excuse after excuse and I have nothing to counter them. So that is what I am asking here. What should I say to make him see that his excuses are, I guess, a sign of his addiction? I'm planning on confronting him when he gets home from his work trip in a couple weeks and want to have my counterpoints ready. Here are his most commonly used arguements for gaming:
* I work hard and I deserve to relax.
* I don't like watching tv or movies or anything else he could do with me.
* If you weren't such a nagging b***h all the time, maybe I'd want to spend more time with you.
* You should just be thankful I'm not going out drinking or cheating on you. I'm upstairs and home.
* There are people way worse than me.
* Stop trying to manipulate me.
* You're the one that doesn't want to spend time with me since you moved your computer downstairs. (I moved my office into another room)
* On the rare occasion I can get him out of the house and out with me and the baby, he just acts uninterested and bored and irritated and gets online as soon as we get home.
These are just what I can think of off the top of my head. Thankfully he isn't dismissive of our daughter, but I literally have to put her in front of the computer screen before he'll play with her. And watching her so I can get chores done consists of him playing WoW and her running amok in his office getting into spare computer parts and other dangerous things I'm sure.
Anyways, please help. I keep trying to point out that if it were alcohol and he was doing the same things and giving me the same excuses there would be no question he was an alcoholic. How can I get him to see the parallels with substance abuse and that his online gaming really is a problem? Thanks!