I'm afraid I've lost him

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MayMay
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Last seen: 11 years 7 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 03/06/2009 - 7:42pm
I'm afraid I've lost him

Let me start off by saying my relationship with my boyfriend isn't an easy one. It is a long distance relationship and we only get to see each other 3 times a year at most. That would change next year if we can patch things up.
And yes, we even met on an online game.

We have been "together" for about 2 years now, and within the past few months his game playing has felt "excessive" to me. I used to play the game with him, but the time spent on the game was maybe 3 hours a day, one or two days a week. As this being a long distance relationship, it has made things hard on us, find things we can do "together". But his game playing habit has grown to everyday, several hours a day, pretty much anytime he is not sleeping or not at work.

He has told me that playing WoW is what he wants to do and that he is not addictive. He doesn't go out with other people and blames it on working a graveyard shift and living in a small town (100k people). He spends his days off raiding and claims it to be his social outlet. He has told me that people look up to him in the game and people have respect for him in the game. The people that he talks to in his guild are more friends than the people where he lives. To make matters worse, in my opinion, a couple in his guild have bought him birthday presents that have been shipped to him.

The last time I visited him was over Christmas. He forgot the day I arrived he had a scheduled raid. At the time I did not think he was addicted and just let it go and found other things to occupy my time. But, as the time went on during my visit we hardly did anything, and he often played on WoW. He blamed it on the weather. I believed him that time due to the summer before, we did go and do stuff.

I mention all this because we have 2 trips planned, or should I say he does. We have plans to get together for a week, and a point was made that there was going to be no WoW. I was excited about this, he's been there before so he wasn't as excited as I was. But shortly after we planned this trip BlizzCon was announced. He said he would like to go, but it is after my classes start again so I told him I would see what could be arranged. I wasn't against going, I try to see him every chance I get, I just wasn't sure I would be able to. He then goes and invites those people who sent him the gift. Maybe I'm jealous that they have more of a relationship with him than I do, but I got upset that he didn't tell me he was going to invite other people. He then said he would fly a few days earlier and see me and we could take the flight there together. A few days later he calls me that he already has the tickets for himself, not stopping to see me.

I'm not against him playing the game. A few hours here, a few hours there, but that's all he does anymore. He has told me that other people harass him about playing to much, but he ignores it saying it's what he wants to do. He does hold down his job fine, but he does have problems sleeping, either he can't fall asleep or he can't wake up. But I don't know if that is because of the game. Either way it's not healthy sitting in front of the computer for that many hours on end. He ignores his health and his housework in order to find more time to play. I wish there was some way that I can get him to realize he's addicted and get help. I love him, but I'm at my wits end. I have already had one relationship go down the toilet with game addiction, I don't want to see another follow.

Alucard6000
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Last seen: 11 years 7 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 03/06/2009 - 11:26am
meh...the person i love left

meh...the person i love left me because of my gaming...it woke me up that i needed help and that i love her and nothing is more important to me then her. so i cam here for help and to win my love back. she tells me if i go to meetings she will come back yet shes with another guy. my mental status is shot, i've been sick for 3 days. my nerves are gone. all i do is worry and miss her i can barely move any more im so drained. all i want is to be with the love of my life again..sometime i feel so useless. gaming isn't worth all this greef and misery. losing the person you love is a HELL of a lot more painful then losing the games you like to play. try to wake him up..make him realize that he has more important things in life then siting around playing games he has you who loves him. leave him for a day if you have to...just don't be like my ex/gf who left me....and make me work for something i feel as tho i can never get back...she makes it feel like she loves him more then me but she tells me we will be back...i want you to have a better relationship then i did...wake him up and tell him you will be there by his side when he gets help...idk...im new to this, some people might have better advice for you then me..

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